Chat with Me, Ep. 007 | "6 Easy Ways to Say “No”
December 4, 2020
This episode will explore 6 healthy ways to set effective boundaries.
6 Easy Ways to Say “No”
Sometimes we have a hard time telling others “No.” Unfortunately, leaving it unsaid can
come at your own expense. You lose time to do the things you really want (or need) to do
and you can even feel resentful towards the other person and yourself.
Telling others that you can’t acquiesce to their request doesn't have to be difficult. If you
struggle with the concept, here are some ideas you can put to use immediately.
1. Explain that your other commitments are taking up all your time right now.
Everyone is too busy at times; the other person will understand that you have a heavy
load of other responsibilities. It might help to go into a little detail about the other things
you have going on; it will increase their level of understanding.
2. Say that you're in the middle of something and that you'll get back to them. It's not
uncommon to get hit with requests for immediate help. You can let them know that you
can’t help right now but that you might be able to help soon. If it really is urgent, they’ll
find someone else and shouldn't feel resentful towards you.
3. Tell them that you'll think about it. This is more of a “maybe” than an absolute “no.”
Avoid using this option if you really do want to say “no.” Take the time you need to
consider it and remember to get back to them. You can suggest your own deadline or an
alternative that works for better for you if you can’t comply fully with their first request.
4. If someone is trying to sell something to you, tell them that their offering doesn't
meet your needs but you'll get back to them if your needs change. This puts an end to
the matter quickly without the other person feeling insulted. After all, you're rejecting
their product or service; you're not rejecting them personally.
5. Tell them that so-and-so would be a better help. In this case, you're not refusing to
help them. In fact, you are helping them by suggesting someone more capable of
satisfying their needs.
6. Tell them that you'd like to help, but…. This lets the other party know that you would
like their offer or would like to provide assistance to them, but you that you are either too
busy or their offer doesn't meet your needs. It's similar to #1 and #4, but is more
supportive and encouraging.
If you'll learn to say “no” to the things that you really don't want to do, don't have the time
to do, or don't fit your needs, your life will be much richer for it.
Like many other things in life, it gets easier with practice. After you get used to it, you'll be
surprised how easy it is and how receptive others can be.
Remember to only tell the truth. One of the options is bound to be true. There's no reason to
feel like you’re being dishonest. Now go tell some people “no” and see how much better you
feel!
Affirmation: Saying, “No,” is powerful. I will value my needs as I honor the needs of others. It is not
my responsibility to rescue others; and their individual responsibilities are not mine. I will show up
to support, but I will not accept the problems of others as my own. I am not God, and I will not
attempt to choose the lessons for them to learn.