Busy? Listen Up!
September 15, 2022
Feeling busy is a message from your body and heart. What are they trying to tell you? We are discussing 4 possible reasons why "I'm so busy" keeps showing up for you, and they are usually under the surface and hidden. Let's excavate!
Hi there, come on in. This is Seriously Yourself, the podcast and I'm Ingrid Helander.
Hi, come on in, how are you? I'm hoping you're busy. Are you busy? You're really, really busy. You probably are busy. Yeah, I'm recording this for September. It's September now, and I'm guessing you're busy, because everyone I talked to when I talk to them, they're like, I'm so busy, but how are you? I'm busy. Are you feeling, busy? It's too busy, I'm tired, it's so busy. Yeah, busy.
So this is a good episode, even if it's not September when you're listening to this to take it in because it could be helpful for another time when you might be really busy. And I can't tell you that you shouldn't be busy. In fact, it's probably a great thing that you're busy. It shows that you're alive, you're well, you're out there, you're doing things. Yeah, it's not bad, but there's something about end of summer, beginning of fall along with a few other times of the year, but in a unique way this time of year brings out a certain flavor of busy. Does it feel like that for you? I think for many, many, many, many people if they have families especially or if they themselves are attending school or in the school system or in a business that is connected to a typical school schedule sometimes offering different kinds of lessons or things for children or anything that connects to school. Right, it ramps up in September, End of August beginning of September and then we're off to the races. And so in fact, there is this literal increase in activity, an increase in scheduling and in expectations that have been somewhat released during the summer.
Even if you're not on that particular schedule with your work or your family say you're retired. I don't think it's uncommon for people to experience this ramping up this like, "oh, got to do now that it's coming into September" because that's what you did for many, many years of your childhood right into young adulthood. Talk about a habit, right? The habit is September is busy. So as you do that, let's take some time so that we don't feel like our heads are gonna explode in September because nobody needs that. Right?
So I'm gonna offer you today on seriously yourself a little exercise that you can try to help you stay healthy in your body in your mind, even when the expectations and realities of September ramp up for you, okay?
If you can start by just taking a moment this week and notice how often are you giving yourself messages that you are busy right? Now, some people are very, very aware of their inner dialogue or some would say that overthinking or the voice in their head, right? And other people are really not. I'm not sure if maybe some folks don't have it as much. I I think if you're a person that often hears the running dialogue of themselves in their head and is aware of it, you might be a little jealous of those that don't seem to have that experience, but I don't know, I think probably most of us do have that. If we actually stop and we notice what was just going on inside me.
But if you have a comment on that, please please let me know. I think it's interesting. So go back again and notice what you hear yourself say to yourself about your pacing, your schedule, your obligations, your expectations and so on. And notice how often you might hear yourself say I'm too busy or I'm so busy or things are so busy when I get busy. I tend to you so with it, I don't know. I think part of me really wants to emphasize that, right?
Yours may sound more like I am just exhausted. I'm so tired, I'll never catch up. Okay, so take a minute then, when you've kind of gotten it that you're doing this to yourself. Do you do it when you first wake up in the morning as you're trying to get ready to go when someone reminds you about something, is it last thing at night when you're like, oh no, what do I have going on tomorrow? Is it maybe a running tally all day?
I'm not saying you don't need that. You very well might need that, but we want to help it be as conscious and soothing as possible, right? We don't want it to be a painful experience for you. So after you've determined when you're saying I'm so busy or if you're saying it and you might, by the way, be saying it to friends and family. Also catch those, then ask yourself what happens in my body or around my body sensations when I hear myself say I'm so busy or it's so busy or things are so busy or we're so busy. Maybe even as I say, that you get an idea of what it feels like in your body when this is going on, when that word comes up too much.
You know, for example, your head might go kind of foggy, your shoulders might take your heart or chest might feel heavy, you might feel just a malaise come over you, your heart might start pounding, you know, like, oh my gosh, I gotta get on this, I got stuff to do or it might sink. Yeah, you might want to jot down what you feel. That's a something it isn't just a feeling that you need to ignore, nor is it something you have to sink into. It's just a noticing, right? Oh, busy equals this in my body. Okay? And consciously, I would say when you do feel that send a loving, appreciative or compassionate breath, if it's possible to wherever you do feel the result of I'm too busy.
And as you breathe and experience that sensation, you might want to just listen, what comes up? Do you hear more? Do you see images? Do you get more sensation? What happens? Do you get a reminder of a certain time period of your life? Do you have a part that shows you your list? Well, here's your list and in fact you are too busy. Do you have a part that shows you a list of regrets? Maybe? Maybe there isn't mistakes. You feel you're making around your schedule, right? Maybe someone has pressed your schedule upon you and you disagree. Takes you back to fourth grade, sitting at the kitchen counter, listening to your mom tell you what homework you had that night. Yeah, wherever it takes you let it take you if you can and just jot it down. If you have a moment, I know you're busy, but if you could, it would be great. You're gonna find things that I could not possibly predict.
And that's why I love, I love working with people because you know, you hear a lot of similar stories, we are certainly way more connected than not. But you also hear these these unique intricacies that make each person who they are, you know, their own little little nuances and experiences and wiring. That is so fabulous. So, if you do come up with anything great from that and you want to share it with me, DM me, send me a message, I'd love to hear. The other thing. You can then notice is that that if you are really telling people a lot, I'm so busy. Maybe you wake up and you just mutter it out loud at the kitchen sink or when anybody ask you, how are you? I'm so busy. I'm too busy. I'm busy. Right. There may be a secondary purpose for the part of you that's saying that, right, what could that be? Well, it's going to be up to you, but take a check, it could be an indirect way of you asking for help. Maybe you have four kids to get to four different sports in the afternoon and you feel like everybody else also has the same problem and you feel like you have no right to ask for help, but frankly you can't do it because you're only one person. And so rather than feeling capable of reaching out, asking a spouse, a friend, a family member for help, changing the schedule in any meaningful way for yourself or another solution. The part of you just keeps kind of shouting out loud, I'm so busy, I'm just too busy, hoping for a rescue. Please help me. It's saying please please come to the rescue. I'm underwater here. That would make sense. Yeah, it may be just an expression of frustration. You know that you are just legitimately too busy. Your employer just plopped a new assignment on you, your kids just started school, right? Some of your family started a new job. Um someone's beginning driver's ed, I don't know, whatever it is, you can do the math and it doesn't work right? I cannot do this. There are not enough hours in the day and there is not enough of me, right? When we get those clones, it's gonna be awesome. Tell you what? Probably not. But you know, don't you wish the other thing that I'm so busy or I'm too busy can be doing for you or trying to do for you is creating a little internal reminder to you that you need to stay on task, right?
So it's almost like a little pressure button that goes off every now and again to say don't lose track, because there's a lot now you could do that differently and we'll go over that in a sec. But it could just be like a little pop up timer or a little alarm bell really "stay on task, stay on task, there's a lot going on" and what it says to you is, you know, I'm so busy, okay.
And finally, and it's not finally because you very well could have things that are unique to you. But the other one that I think of is that it could just be a bad habit, right? A very ineffective kind of a little habit that you've developed a part of you started doing and then you just kept doing it and again those habits can be connected to times of year when you needed those habits, right? So if you needed, when you were a high school junior to stay on task and to be so busy because of your lifestyle. Then you may have begun that habit and you may still have it whenever September rolls around, so you could look at that, it's kind of fun really.
So whatever busy means in your system is okay, alright? But you do have the capacity to work with parts of your body, your mind, your soma that have been dragged along and have dragged too busy forward from your childhood. You may very well need to ask for help. You may very well need to ask for help, right? You might need to say to your kid one sport this year. I love you. But unless you can find a ride, my dear eighth grader, I can't be in another place. I just can't. Right, You might want to look at what doesn't feel like your choice.
So you may have added activities, right? And then forget, oh, I want this. And so then you're like, oh I'm so busy even though you know, you're doing something that when you get there or tune in or do it gives you great refreshment, right? So maybe busy has become a word, that's logging you down. That's not the word I want. Maybe busy is a word that is dragging you down, pulling you down, but isn't really what you mean? Right? So maybe if you notice, yeah, I'm busy, but I love going to the book group on Tuesdays. I'm so glad we started again. I love being at the soccer field with you know, jimmy because how fun is that? I love, you know that work is busier because I was actually kind of you know, getting tired of what I was doing whatever it is. But if you don't feel that you have the choice and busy keeps entering your mind, you might just want to say, is that what I really mean? Or do I want to say I'm more lively than usual or I'm more active than usual, right? You can really look at how words impact what you feel about what you're doing.
So those are just a few ideas, I hope they're helpful, I find for me they are really helpful because my body responds to words without me even recognizing barely that I've said them to myself and so slowing down and being more conscious and feeling into them is a great resource. Let me know what you find out if you want to play with this more. We do this kind of work every single month in the Seriously Yourself Membership and it is great fun. There are abundant treats and deliciousness for you. So wherever you live, feel free to check into that on my website and come along, we would love to have you. But you know, in the meantime it's kind of busy. So I gotta run, bye.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
Hi, come on in, how are you? I'm hoping you're busy. Are you busy? You're really, really busy. You probably are busy. Yeah, I'm recording this for September. It's September now, and I'm guessing you're busy, because everyone I talked to when I talk to them, they're like, I'm so busy, but how are you? I'm busy. Are you feeling, busy? It's too busy, I'm tired, it's so busy. Yeah, busy.
So this is a good episode, even if it's not September when you're listening to this to take it in because it could be helpful for another time when you might be really busy. And I can't tell you that you shouldn't be busy. In fact, it's probably a great thing that you're busy. It shows that you're alive, you're well, you're out there, you're doing things. Yeah, it's not bad, but there's something about end of summer, beginning of fall along with a few other times of the year, but in a unique way this time of year brings out a certain flavor of busy. Does it feel like that for you? I think for many, many, many, many people if they have families especially or if they themselves are attending school or in the school system or in a business that is connected to a typical school schedule sometimes offering different kinds of lessons or things for children or anything that connects to school. Right, it ramps up in September, End of August beginning of September and then we're off to the races. And so in fact, there is this literal increase in activity, an increase in scheduling and in expectations that have been somewhat released during the summer.
Even if you're not on that particular schedule with your work or your family say you're retired. I don't think it's uncommon for people to experience this ramping up this like, "oh, got to do now that it's coming into September" because that's what you did for many, many years of your childhood right into young adulthood. Talk about a habit, right? The habit is September is busy. So as you do that, let's take some time so that we don't feel like our heads are gonna explode in September because nobody needs that. Right?
So I'm gonna offer you today on seriously yourself a little exercise that you can try to help you stay healthy in your body in your mind, even when the expectations and realities of September ramp up for you, okay?
If you can start by just taking a moment this week and notice how often are you giving yourself messages that you are busy right? Now, some people are very, very aware of their inner dialogue or some would say that overthinking or the voice in their head, right? And other people are really not. I'm not sure if maybe some folks don't have it as much. I I think if you're a person that often hears the running dialogue of themselves in their head and is aware of it, you might be a little jealous of those that don't seem to have that experience, but I don't know, I think probably most of us do have that. If we actually stop and we notice what was just going on inside me.
But if you have a comment on that, please please let me know. I think it's interesting. So go back again and notice what you hear yourself say to yourself about your pacing, your schedule, your obligations, your expectations and so on. And notice how often you might hear yourself say I'm too busy or I'm so busy or things are so busy when I get busy. I tend to you so with it, I don't know. I think part of me really wants to emphasize that, right?
Yours may sound more like I am just exhausted. I'm so tired, I'll never catch up. Okay, so take a minute then, when you've kind of gotten it that you're doing this to yourself. Do you do it when you first wake up in the morning as you're trying to get ready to go when someone reminds you about something, is it last thing at night when you're like, oh no, what do I have going on tomorrow? Is it maybe a running tally all day?
I'm not saying you don't need that. You very well might need that, but we want to help it be as conscious and soothing as possible, right? We don't want it to be a painful experience for you. So after you've determined when you're saying I'm so busy or if you're saying it and you might, by the way, be saying it to friends and family. Also catch those, then ask yourself what happens in my body or around my body sensations when I hear myself say I'm so busy or it's so busy or things are so busy or we're so busy. Maybe even as I say, that you get an idea of what it feels like in your body when this is going on, when that word comes up too much.
You know, for example, your head might go kind of foggy, your shoulders might take your heart or chest might feel heavy, you might feel just a malaise come over you, your heart might start pounding, you know, like, oh my gosh, I gotta get on this, I got stuff to do or it might sink. Yeah, you might want to jot down what you feel. That's a something it isn't just a feeling that you need to ignore, nor is it something you have to sink into. It's just a noticing, right? Oh, busy equals this in my body. Okay? And consciously, I would say when you do feel that send a loving, appreciative or compassionate breath, if it's possible to wherever you do feel the result of I'm too busy.
And as you breathe and experience that sensation, you might want to just listen, what comes up? Do you hear more? Do you see images? Do you get more sensation? What happens? Do you get a reminder of a certain time period of your life? Do you have a part that shows you your list? Well, here's your list and in fact you are too busy. Do you have a part that shows you a list of regrets? Maybe? Maybe there isn't mistakes. You feel you're making around your schedule, right? Maybe someone has pressed your schedule upon you and you disagree. Takes you back to fourth grade, sitting at the kitchen counter, listening to your mom tell you what homework you had that night. Yeah, wherever it takes you let it take you if you can and just jot it down. If you have a moment, I know you're busy, but if you could, it would be great. You're gonna find things that I could not possibly predict.
And that's why I love, I love working with people because you know, you hear a lot of similar stories, we are certainly way more connected than not. But you also hear these these unique intricacies that make each person who they are, you know, their own little little nuances and experiences and wiring. That is so fabulous. So, if you do come up with anything great from that and you want to share it with me, DM me, send me a message, I'd love to hear. The other thing. You can then notice is that that if you are really telling people a lot, I'm so busy. Maybe you wake up and you just mutter it out loud at the kitchen sink or when anybody ask you, how are you? I'm so busy. I'm too busy. I'm busy. Right. There may be a secondary purpose for the part of you that's saying that, right, what could that be? Well, it's going to be up to you, but take a check, it could be an indirect way of you asking for help. Maybe you have four kids to get to four different sports in the afternoon and you feel like everybody else also has the same problem and you feel like you have no right to ask for help, but frankly you can't do it because you're only one person. And so rather than feeling capable of reaching out, asking a spouse, a friend, a family member for help, changing the schedule in any meaningful way for yourself or another solution. The part of you just keeps kind of shouting out loud, I'm so busy, I'm just too busy, hoping for a rescue. Please help me. It's saying please please come to the rescue. I'm underwater here. That would make sense. Yeah, it may be just an expression of frustration. You know that you are just legitimately too busy. Your employer just plopped a new assignment on you, your kids just started school, right? Some of your family started a new job. Um someone's beginning driver's ed, I don't know, whatever it is, you can do the math and it doesn't work right? I cannot do this. There are not enough hours in the day and there is not enough of me, right? When we get those clones, it's gonna be awesome. Tell you what? Probably not. But you know, don't you wish the other thing that I'm so busy or I'm too busy can be doing for you or trying to do for you is creating a little internal reminder to you that you need to stay on task, right?
So it's almost like a little pressure button that goes off every now and again to say don't lose track, because there's a lot now you could do that differently and we'll go over that in a sec. But it could just be like a little pop up timer or a little alarm bell really "stay on task, stay on task, there's a lot going on" and what it says to you is, you know, I'm so busy, okay.
And finally, and it's not finally because you very well could have things that are unique to you. But the other one that I think of is that it could just be a bad habit, right? A very ineffective kind of a little habit that you've developed a part of you started doing and then you just kept doing it and again those habits can be connected to times of year when you needed those habits, right? So if you needed, when you were a high school junior to stay on task and to be so busy because of your lifestyle. Then you may have begun that habit and you may still have it whenever September rolls around, so you could look at that, it's kind of fun really.
So whatever busy means in your system is okay, alright? But you do have the capacity to work with parts of your body, your mind, your soma that have been dragged along and have dragged too busy forward from your childhood. You may very well need to ask for help. You may very well need to ask for help, right? You might need to say to your kid one sport this year. I love you. But unless you can find a ride, my dear eighth grader, I can't be in another place. I just can't. Right, You might want to look at what doesn't feel like your choice.
So you may have added activities, right? And then forget, oh, I want this. And so then you're like, oh I'm so busy even though you know, you're doing something that when you get there or tune in or do it gives you great refreshment, right? So maybe busy has become a word, that's logging you down. That's not the word I want. Maybe busy is a word that is dragging you down, pulling you down, but isn't really what you mean? Right? So maybe if you notice, yeah, I'm busy, but I love going to the book group on Tuesdays. I'm so glad we started again. I love being at the soccer field with you know, jimmy because how fun is that? I love, you know that work is busier because I was actually kind of you know, getting tired of what I was doing whatever it is. But if you don't feel that you have the choice and busy keeps entering your mind, you might just want to say, is that what I really mean? Or do I want to say I'm more lively than usual or I'm more active than usual, right? You can really look at how words impact what you feel about what you're doing.
So those are just a few ideas, I hope they're helpful, I find for me they are really helpful because my body responds to words without me even recognizing barely that I've said them to myself and so slowing down and being more conscious and feeling into them is a great resource. Let me know what you find out if you want to play with this more. We do this kind of work every single month in the Seriously Yourself Membership and it is great fun. There are abundant treats and deliciousness for you. So wherever you live, feel free to check into that on my website and come along, we would love to have you. But you know, in the meantime it's kind of busy. So I gotta run, bye.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
If you just can't get enough and you'd like even more goodness, you can become a part of Seriouslyourself, The Membership Community. You'll receive a monthly magazine, personal gatherings and cool little treats delivered right to your mailbox. Find out more about that on my website: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/seriouslyourself-the-membership/.
And thanks to those who make Seriouslyourself special: our wonderful music is Midsummer from the album Flood by the fabulous Joel Helander. Seriouslyourself is produced by Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, Executive Producer. The ideas and inspirations come from beautiful humans like you, that I feel lucky to know. And I'm Ingrid Helander. Take good care of yourself. See you next time.