We all feel anxious some of the time. Anxiety is our inbuilt warning system that helps us to look out for danger and to keep as safe.

Often the threat is a perceived one rather than a real threat. We talk about anxiety in the clinical sense if the anxiety is long, enduring and significantly impacts on a person's life.

Anxiety can take many forms and can focus on a specific area of concern for example in the case of of (social) phobia or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Panic disorders are a condition where anxiety manifests in a sudden and unexpected panic attack followed by a month or more of persistent concern about another attack.

While there are many different forms and manifestations of anxiety, the clinical definition of Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) stipulates that a person has excessive and persistent worry about a number of different events and difficulty in controlling these worries. Events are often over evaluated in relation to their likely impact and the intensity of worry is out of proportion compared to the likely impact of the feared event.

Because our body tricks us into thinking that we are under threat, it starts to mobilise for running away. Therefore physical symptoms of anxiety may include the following:

Anxiety is not just felt in the body is is also is accompanied by thoughts that impact on your mind and your mood:

Different therapeutic approaches will work differently with anxiety.

There are different techniques of working with anxiety. Many approaches would encourage you to regulate your anxiety through breathing exercises to calm down your nervous system. You cannot breathe slowly and be anxious at the same time. Breathing hugely helps to regulate anxiety. Other ways of working with anxiety include visualisations or soothing exercises that help you to feel relaxed, safe and calm.

In the couple system anxiety in one partner will have an impact on the other. Both partners need to be aware that the current experience in the relationship may be driven by anxiety. Naming it as such, recognising the symptoms and having a conversation about it clarifies what you are both experiencing. It helps to understand GAD first before you can respond appropriately. For example telling an anxious partner to 'stop being anxious' will not achieve anything. For the anxious partner is would be helpful to address the anxiety individually through therapy or through self-help.

We end the podcast with a breathing and visualisation exercise.

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Also, get additional show notes on our podcast website here