Hi and welcome to a new episode and also to wish you a happy Christmas or happy holidays if you prefer, from the social skills doctor with me Richard gray, where today we will be diving into the issue of getting a blank mind in social settings as well as other settings, and what you can do to prevent it happening.

Very important at this time of year if you’re getting together with family or friends, or inlaws, and I’m sure you have your own ideas as to why its happening, one things for sure -

It can be incredibly frustrating when your brain appears to shut up shop and leave you holding the baby. But have you ever wondered why it’s happening, and at the most inconvenient times?

This blank mind phenomenon is something many people experience from time to time, but if you're shy or get social anxiety then it may be a lot more than a passing inconvenience, and may in fact be a full on blight to your social life and career progression.

A blank mind episode is almost the very essence of self-sabotage as your brain works against your own best interests, turning off the tap when you need to drink, hiding your glass when you’ve just stood up to make a toast, stalling your car when the lights turn green, the point being they only occur at the very moments when you need your mind to step up and play its part like a good team player.

When we are under pressure or facing high levels of stress, our brains can do one of three things. Either they can step up to the plate and handle the situation like champions, they can remember, previous failures and retreat from a repeat, or they can become overwhelmed, leading to mental blocks and difficulty thinking clearly.

Almost anything can be a trigger, from a person, place, object, a sound, even the time of day. Some of the most common being:

When your mind blanks out, it is often due to a temporary disruption in cognitive functioning. When we are under stress or experiencing anxiety, our body releases cortisol - commonly known as the stress hormone. Elevated cortisol levels can interfere with memory retrieval and cognitive processing, leading to these mental blocks. 

Tiredness can also have detrimental effect on cognitive function, including causing your mind to go blank more frequently. Sleep deprivation impairs memory consolidation and attention span, making it harder for your brain to process information effectively.

Information Overload. In today's information driven world filled with endless streams of data, our brains can easily become overloaded with too much information which leads us into mental fatigue resulting in temporary lapses where our minds go blank.

The Mind Hijack. Perhaps you’ve heard it said before, the conscious working mind or the ‘neo-cortex’, can hold about seven pieces of information for about seven seconds at a time. 

What’s worse is, you have little control over what thoughts, ideas, or pieces of information enter this working memory space, or when they will disappear. Your subconscious is in charge of this process, and it’s vastly bigger and more powerful than your conscious mind.

If your subconscious was an ocean, then your conscious would be a dinghy bobbing on its surface. The situation gets worse. 

Fight of flight. Anxiety in social or spotlight situations can put your mind into a state of fight or flight because its interpreting a threat - not of physical harm but by the idea of being challenged, exposed, judged, mocked or humiliated.

When fight or flight takes over, your brain diverts blood from all non-essential functions of the body to your muscles, preparing them for sudden explosive action - such as flight. One of those non-essential functions is your higher cognitive thinking, which is why you can experience your mind going blank.

Cardiac Coherence. When you’re experiencing stress from being in the spotlight, whether thats in a social setting, standing up in a work meeting, or getting up on stage, your heart begins to race, disrupting your brain function and your ability to think clearly.

If you've been experiencing any of these anxiety responses for long enough that they just feel like a part of your dna makeup and there's little to be done about it, lets begin the fightback because it really doesn't have to be this way. Let's get worked up for a moment about this invisible enemy that has been sabotaging your life at:

Work. A blank mind can hinder your productivity and performance at work. It may make it difficult for you to concentrate on tasks or come up with creative solutions. You may avoid your manager or colleagues because a blank mind during interactions makes you go quiet and feel like you don’t belong.

The knock on effect is missing out on promotions, better pay, a better standard of living, and self-esteem, especially when younger newer employees begin getting promoted over you.

Studies. When studying for exams or working on assignments, a blank mind will short-circuit your ability to recall information, and may cause difficulty in organizing thoughts or formulating coherent arguments. 

For instance, during an exam when faced with a question that requires critical thinking skills and analysis, experiencing a mental block can prevent you from providing well-thought-out answers.

Personal Relationships. Difficulties expressing yourself clearly or engaging with others will affect you at every point of the journey to forming relationships, from approaching someone in the first place, to getting-to-know-you conversations, to socializing with existing friends.

Imagine being on a night out or having dinner with friends and being the quietest one in the group because your mind simply cant get into the flow state and give you conversation game… but maybe you don't need to imagine right?

There are three distinct scenarios where a blank mind might strike, but there are also effective strategies you can use to prevent it. First is the

One to self scenario. This is you engaging in a solo project like writing, studying, or taking a test. Now let's break this down again into solo projects that have an immediate deadline and those that dont. 

If you have some breathing space, then the biggest threat to your mind seizing up and quitting on you is overwhelm. Break your project down into smaller chunks and tackle one bitesize chunk at a time to the exclusion of all others. One step in front of the other without the pressure.

If you have a more immediate deadline such as in a test, then your biggest threat is the sensation of pressure and stress. Before your test, ensure two things.

First - be well revised. This ensures you avoid the anxiety that comes from knowing you didn't prepare properly, and also gives you a sense of confidence in a preperation job well done. 

Second - Be well rested. A tired mind is already half way toward going blank and only needs the extra push of stress an exam can produce, whereas a rested and relaxed mind and body will ensure good circulation and blood flow to your brain. 

One to many scenario. This is you up there speaking to a group or crowd, whether delivering a presentation or speech. As with one to self, it's very important to be well rested and well prepared.

When on stage with many eyes and expectations looking back at you, it's easy to go into flight fight mode. But what that little expression leaves out is the freeze part, making it freeze, flight, fight. But why would you feel threatened enough to enter this mode?

The audience are definitely not hostile to you, they simply want to hear what you have to say, and therein lies your salvation. Always carry with you the knowledge their attention is maybe twenty percent on you and eighty on the content of your words. 

If you know your subject and are well prepared, impostor syndrome should be at a minimum and the pressure of scrutiny should be off thanks to knowing the focus really isn't on you.

One to social scenario. This is you talking to one person or a group. Perhaps the biggest distinction here is that it's no longer you or your mind going out in one direction, but conversation going in both directions.

As with the one to self scenario there are two sub-scenarios:

First is with something to gain - These include interviews and first dates where there is clearly something to be gained from presenting yourself, your knowledge, and your personality in the best light, whether thats a new job or new relationship.

Both of these could change your life profoundly and that kernal of knowledge is what will lead you to self-sabotage if you let it. These scenarios can release a cauldron of performance anxiety, imposter syndrome, and negative self-image issues unless you know yourself well, you know your subject, and you like yourself.

This last one is very important because if you don't like yourself much, have self-esteem issues, inferiority complexes, or see yourself in any other negative light, that will inevitably contribute to the poor performance and functioning of your mind. 

A self-congruent and holistic self image will relax you and keep your mind open. This means having a mind that is not in conflict with itself, a mind that wants one thing but doesn't believe you are worth it. A mind that is being interviewed for a job but doesn't know much about it, or the company. A mind that doesn't know what it wants or who it is.

When you become more comfortable in your own skin, when you find your purpose and gain direction in life, when your mind is playing as a team, the green shoots of confidence in your personal brand show through, and others will recognise them at a subconscious level. 

The second sub-scenario is without something to gain. This simply refers to every other conversation you have in a social setting with people you are comfortable with. But even here you can't always escape the blank mind, something you will know only too well if you are the quietest one in your social group.

Until very recently there has never been a direct solution to the blank mind syndrome striking in the one to social category. Now there is a program that targets this problem directly by using a combination of specifically developed conversation strategies blended with memory techniques.

This program is called the Multiversal Mind Method and once you are familiar with the techniques and you have formatted your mind in the ways instructed, you will forever and from hereon be able to open up your mind like a flower the moment it starts closing. Ensuring you can represent yourself in social settings the way you always wished you could.

And wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing? Thank you for listening, look after yourself wherever you are in the world and I will look forward to catching up with you again in the next episode.