Agape Garcia: Surviving Domestic Violence and Finding Post-Traumatic Growth
October 4, 2022
After experiencing a lifetime of trauma, Agape Garcia, an independent and resilient woman, is forced to confront her past when her abusive partner's history of violence is revealed, testing her strength and conviction to create a better life for herself and her children.
You will learn:
1. How does one find the silver lining after experiencing trauma?
2. What does it look like to be a victim versus being victimized?
3. How does one shift from a laser focus on survival to a focus on emotional awareness and wellbeing?
Agape Garcia is a survivor of domestic violence who now uses her personal testimony to empower others. She combines situational awareness with emotional intelligence to help people learn how to control their triggers.
After experiencing a lifetime of trauma, Agape Garcia, an independent and resilient woman, is forced to confront her past when her abusive partner's history of violence is revealed, testing her strength and conviction to create a better life for herself and her children.
"You can only do that for so long, because in reality, if you don't accept or realize that you did not have control over what happened to you and that it was not your fault, you did the best that you could with what you had. At the moment, you have to get to that space in your head, because that's what differentiates you from a victim versus being victimized." - Agape Garcia
Agape Garcia is a survivor of domestic violence who now uses her personal testimony to empower others. She combines situational awareness with emotional intelligence to help people learn how to control their triggers.
Agape Garcia never expected to have to face the traumas of domestic violence. She had been raised in an abusive household, but had managed to find her own strength through independent living. One night, she confronted her partner about evidence of another woman and was met with a violent response. She escaped with her daughter and had to start a new life. Agape was forced to put aside her dreams to focus on providing for her daughter, but she was still emotionally unavailable. When her daughter grew up, she realized the toll this had taken on her and it was then that Agape learned to understand the importance of emotional well-being.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. How does one find the silver lining after experiencing trauma?
2. What does it look like to be a victim versus being victimized?
3. How does one shift from a laser focus on survival to a focus on emotional awareness and wellbeing?
Resources:
Other episodes you'll enjoy:
Unlocking the Secrets of Complex Trauma w/ Serafina Christine
Unpacking Self-Love with Tasha Champion: From Gaslighting to Empowerment
The Power of Self-Care for Women Survivors of Abuse and Trauma with Laura Gisborne
Unlocking the Secrets of Complex Trauma w/ Serafina Christine
Unpacking Self-Love with Tasha Champion: From Gaslighting to Empowerment
The Power of Self-Care for Women Survivors of Abuse and Trauma with Laura Gisborne
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Website: healthrivedream.com
Connect with Agape:
@BEINCREDIBLE
Post Traumatic Growth Strategian
Whole Life Coach, Energy Consult
Certified High Performance Coach
Be Your Incredible Self (BYIS) best describes Ms. Garcia’s tenacious attitude towards empowering others. Garcia, over the past 35 years has navigated through domestic violence, privacy, safety, vulnerability, and the mindset to endure personal adverse events in life.
Her survival of a double attempted homicide while 8 months pregnant (by the father) and the desperation to survive became the catalyst to the foundation of BYIS while achieving an undisputed outlook of independence. During her journey to overcome, Garcia learned that extreme independence is a trauma driven response and a natural one which can be defeated through focused, self awareness and intentional control.
Through her own walk, harsh lessons brought on by extreme independence resulted in areas of her life being sabotaged repeatedly. Her personal journey of post traumatic growth has led Garcia to dedicating her life in developing transformational programs, various forms of coaching, certification courses and establishing a nonprofit to help real time victims. Her commitment is to provide lifelong transformational habits that can restore your powerful internal sense of control. One of her personal statements, ‘You don’t live anywhere but in your head’ is why some of her laser focus teachings are on aligning your mental and emotional belief system.
As her passion grew from her own personal struggles, Garcia became active within the community receiving a Mayoral appointment to work with the Citizen Review board in direct conjunction with Internal Affairs. She received hands-on training from the Sheriff’s department, Department of Homeland Security, and FEMA which also led to the Infrastructure Liaison Officer designation (ILO), through the local Law Enforcement Center.
Garcia has spent more than 20 years in the corporate world holding positions in Office Administration, Project Management, Compliance, Policy writing, Team building, Training, Leadership and Consulting. She continued to serve other organizations including the American Society for Industrial Security (ASIS), Board of Directors, and holds a current membership in the FBI vetted private sector program of InfraGard. As VP of a Security Consultant Company, she has developed programs with leadership responsible for security and emergency management. These emphasize awareness toward identifying different stages of human behavior leading towards violence mitigation.
While working, attending school, and raising her kids as a single parent, her personal priorities of housing, safety and privacy for her children were of utmost importance. This required Garcia to navigate through various self-help centers, state, city, local programs, systems and assistance to create a stable foundation for her family while providing the ability to assist others. She also volunteers and collaborates with local law writer(s), in support of bills under Public Safety.
Garcia believes in the need to feel loved, wanted, and cared for as a part of life in all of us. Living through emotional tugs of war and learning to apply a controlled healthy mindset to overcome voids, shortcomings, and to break unhealthy cycles is who she is today versus the opposite of where she came from. Today, she prides herself on meeting the daily challenges of being vulnerable and safe at the same time while empowering others to Be Your Incredible Self.
Garcia’s personal mission is to help lead others in transforming their survival of Domestic Violence (DV) into Post Traumatic Growth and to mitigate the depletion of resources for real time victims.
Sharing her personal testimony has empowered so many others. She loves teaching her BYIS formula of: How to combine Situational Awareness with Emotional Intelligence to control your triggers.
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Chapter Summaries:
[00:00:02]
Today's guest is transformational coach and therapist Agape Garcia. She shares her personal testimony to empower others.
[00:01:05]
Garcia: Thank you for having me on your show. When I walk out of the house, the relationships I have within the community and various places, I am always smiling. And that's a majority of what we're going to talk about today is that growth that happens after experiencing such trauma.
[00:02:12]
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Garcia has a story to tell us about domestic violence. After sharing her story, learn more about post traumatic growth.
[00:09:23]
"That night changed my life forever. It changed the mother that I was to become, " she says. "If it wasn't for the life I had, fighting to be independent and raising my daughter on my own " Going back to where she came from was not going to be an option.
[00:11:50]
I was deemed high risk pregnancy. I was able to convince the doctors to give me a C section prior to the due date. He was actually born ten days early. I feel terrible because I repeated something that I promised I wouldn't as a mother.
[00:12:37]
We all feel guilty for something that happened to us or because of us taking responsibility. At the moment, you have to get to that space in your head. My children were my strength. For me to not fester in those emotions, but go into logic.
[00:21:18]
When we are in trauma driven mindset, we are extremely independent. We do draw the lines, the boundaries. Sometimes those things are sabotagers. It's really about regaining your relationship with yourself so that you can trust yourself.
[00:26:11]
So what is your definition of strong being strong? What does being strong mean to you? If you are not walking in your definition, we just identified a place you're not aligned. That gap may be where your triggers are coming into play. Know where these emotions reside and know how to handle them real time.
[00:31:14]
Confronting Domestic Violence is a nonprofit that aims to help real time victims of domestic violence. Its mission is to sway legislation into mandating that OSHA modify their current workplace violence policy.
[00:37:12]
To be your incredible self is for women that have already left a toxic relationship. It gives you the tools and shows you how to apply the good, the positive, the good habits. After 45 days, it becomes conditioned habits. Just trust the process.
[00:39:23]
Do you have any books that you're planning to write or have you written a book yet? I'm actually in the process of co authoring two. One of them is behind closed doors. I survived domestic violence and you can too.
[00:40:23]
Garcia: The more you neglect your mindset and your well being, the steeper the price becomes.