Balance, Brain, and Body
May 5, 2022
Your brain is important, but it's not the whole you! Sometimes certain parts can take over and run the show. But they don't have too. This week we are exploring how to come back to your central energy.
Hi there, come on in. This is Seriously Yourself, the podcast and I'm Ingrid Helander.
Hello, hello, come on in. Welcome to Seriously Yourself. I'm happy you're here. I'm sitting here and I'm looking out my window in my office at still bare trees of New England. I think they should be popping out with some leaves pretty soon. I see buds but they're not quite there yet. And they're reminding me of what I wanted to talk with you about today, and that is something that we've been talking about in the seriously yourself community.
And it is the idea of balance, balance. How do you balance your life? How do you balance your well being? How do you balance your time, How do you balance your emotions? And do you even think about that? As I was imagining talking to you? I was thinking like "I can't honestly recall very many men walking into my office and saying I just feel like I'm out of balance", right? Sometimes they quite certainly are and maybe I bring it up like it seems like your life is a lot of balance, but it's not something that I can picture men saying I'm even trying to think of, do they say it in another way? And they probably do, I mean like "I'm just so exhausted" or "I'm working too much, you know, or I don't have time to do my work", Something like this? But I'll tell you many women will often come in and they'll say, "you know, I just need some balance in my life" and I think that's kind of interesting. It's maybe a little more of a feminine wisdom concept? You know more the, yin of things that we feel like, that energy that we want to feel both grounded and alert. We want to feel um that we're not gonna suddenly tip over in any direction. We don't want to feel kind of pulled apart from the center, sort of strung out with too much to do and too many ways to go. We want to feel balanced, right? Like we can stand on our own two feet and be well.
So looking at the trees, these April bare trees, still. I am thinking about what it's like naturally to have a sense of balance, right. The environment here in the Northeast Can feel incredibly unbalanced. And, and I think Midwest, well, all over the country, I think lately, you know, you hear about one day, it's in the 70s and the next day people will get 14" of snow. I think that happened in upper New York state last week. It doesn't feel like, well, it feels like balance, but balance of the extremes right. Which is of course, one way to balance it is one way to balance. That People, many people actually prefer. They love the sense that they can have very high highs and very low lows.
And of course in the field of psychology, we sort of demonize that right? Then you're bi, bipolar, you are bipolar and you know, in fact there are bipolarity symptoms that can be really debilitating. So not making less of those, but you know, for some people to have some higher highs and lower lows feels entirely natural and completely balanced and without them they feel unbalanced, stuck. So the feeling is not grounded and centered. The feeling is trapped and stuck for certain kinds of personalities. You may be one. For others of us, It's more of like a, do you remember the game Tippit? Do you remember that game growing up? If you were my age, you remember Tippit and there was a little circus performer on a wire, little plastic guy, and he had rings and was holding a stick kind of thing that balanced him, little rings on the side and I can't honestly remember what you were trying to do, but you were trying not to tip him. And I think sometimes my sense of balance is sort of like that like micro adjustments. You know, I don't like to get too far a field from my center. I like to catch, oops, I'm a little off there and make a micro adjustment. And this could include almost anything. For example, if I've been eating in an unhealthy way, I might do a little tiny tip on that side and um plan my meals more carefully or shop for more vegetables or get more healthy, right? Or if I'm indoors too much haha. I'm gonna tip that a little bit and go out and try to take a walk or get some sunshine or spend some time breathing fresh air anyway, I can. If I'm to social, I'm gonna absolutely pull in and find moments of quiet and solitude because I love community, but I'm not an extreme extrovert. There again, if you are, your balance is going to feel different. There is sort of a give and take to balance. So if you feel you are giving more of yourself than you are allowing to come in and receive, you're going to feel off balance right, you're going to feel depleted.
I have a real distinct memory and it's not one um that I feel good about, but I remember when my oldest son's were very young, I remember I was driving home from yet another meeting somewhere and I was volunteered all over the place and I was young and I remember this feeling like I was sort of bleeding out, right? I just had this image of, you know, blood coming from my, from my hands gross, right? But that feeling like there's not enough replenishing here, It's all going outward. That's imbalance. Yeah, right? Or for people who have been so busy and they sit down at the end of the week and think I didn't get to, you know, see my little child all week or put them to bed or feed them a meal that's heartbreaking, that's imbalance. Or you know, especially after 2.5, 3 years of covid to feel like I haven't been with people. First of all, I haven't been with people that I dearly love and appreciate as family and friends. And also I haven't been with just people face to face side by side, imbalance.
And parts of us inside can get imbalanced as well. This is always something to consider if you are feeling out of balance. A little tip from internal family systems, check in and notice if there are any parts of you that have sort of taken over your driver's seat. Maybe there parts that are overly managing your time or trying to please or parts that are even down, angry, depressed, whatever it is. If you feel out of balance, it is quite likely that you're sort of central energy, yourself energy, your higher energy has taken a backseat. That doesn't mean it's gone and that doesn't mean it is lesser. It just means that you're out of balance. So it's a great time to take a breath, slow down, feel your body and allow your nervous system to present back to your brain what is going on, right?
We often think and this is a very unbalanced thought. We often think that our thinking parts are all of us, I think therefore I am, my mind comes up with this idea. Therefore it's true. My brain knows what's going on with me well sometimes and sometimes that is absolutely not the case. Oftentimes our bodies know whats happening well before our brain and they have more clear information. Our bodies do. The parts that are in our Soma, the nervous system, all those nerves that run through your body, without connecting the brain is left to interpret without the whole story, right or information. I'll talk about this later. There's a whole lot there.
But in the moment, if you are feeling out of balance, you could be relying too much on your brain. Your poor brain, it is not you and it is not all of you. It is important and vital, but allow it to receive. So if you're thinking parts are trying to figure stuff out and figure stuff out. That is a way of being out of balance as well, yeah.
So take a moment to feel into your body. Notice what feels maybe not quite like you or heavy or congested or stuck or uncomfortable and give it a little bit of your time and attention, allowing the reality of what it's experienced to come up to your brain and that will help you rebalance.
How are you balancing this spring? I'm encouraging you if it's spring where you are to get out and look around and notice not everything pops out all at the same time and quote unquote comes back to life. You know, not everything has the same schedule. Many, many, many parts of nature are waiting, holding many parts of nature are ready, Some are dying right. Some are leaving pay attention and notice you are not different. You too are searching for balance, right? And then stand up, feel your feet take a breath, notice what's inside... you have options. Let me know what your thoughts are. If you need help with this, I can talk more about it. I hope you're finding your own real balance and remember it doesn't have to be perfect to be balanced. Thanks for joining me. I love being with you and I'll talk with you really soon. Bye now.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
Hello, hello, come on in. Welcome to Seriously Yourself. I'm happy you're here. I'm sitting here and I'm looking out my window in my office at still bare trees of New England. I think they should be popping out with some leaves pretty soon. I see buds but they're not quite there yet. And they're reminding me of what I wanted to talk with you about today, and that is something that we've been talking about in the seriously yourself community.
And it is the idea of balance, balance. How do you balance your life? How do you balance your well being? How do you balance your time, How do you balance your emotions? And do you even think about that? As I was imagining talking to you? I was thinking like "I can't honestly recall very many men walking into my office and saying I just feel like I'm out of balance", right? Sometimes they quite certainly are and maybe I bring it up like it seems like your life is a lot of balance, but it's not something that I can picture men saying I'm even trying to think of, do they say it in another way? And they probably do, I mean like "I'm just so exhausted" or "I'm working too much, you know, or I don't have time to do my work", Something like this? But I'll tell you many women will often come in and they'll say, "you know, I just need some balance in my life" and I think that's kind of interesting. It's maybe a little more of a feminine wisdom concept? You know more the, yin of things that we feel like, that energy that we want to feel both grounded and alert. We want to feel um that we're not gonna suddenly tip over in any direction. We don't want to feel kind of pulled apart from the center, sort of strung out with too much to do and too many ways to go. We want to feel balanced, right? Like we can stand on our own two feet and be well.
So looking at the trees, these April bare trees, still. I am thinking about what it's like naturally to have a sense of balance, right. The environment here in the Northeast Can feel incredibly unbalanced. And, and I think Midwest, well, all over the country, I think lately, you know, you hear about one day, it's in the 70s and the next day people will get 14" of snow. I think that happened in upper New York state last week. It doesn't feel like, well, it feels like balance, but balance of the extremes right. Which is of course, one way to balance it is one way to balance. That People, many people actually prefer. They love the sense that they can have very high highs and very low lows.
And of course in the field of psychology, we sort of demonize that right? Then you're bi, bipolar, you are bipolar and you know, in fact there are bipolarity symptoms that can be really debilitating. So not making less of those, but you know, for some people to have some higher highs and lower lows feels entirely natural and completely balanced and without them they feel unbalanced, stuck. So the feeling is not grounded and centered. The feeling is trapped and stuck for certain kinds of personalities. You may be one. For others of us, It's more of like a, do you remember the game Tippit? Do you remember that game growing up? If you were my age, you remember Tippit and there was a little circus performer on a wire, little plastic guy, and he had rings and was holding a stick kind of thing that balanced him, little rings on the side and I can't honestly remember what you were trying to do, but you were trying not to tip him. And I think sometimes my sense of balance is sort of like that like micro adjustments. You know, I don't like to get too far a field from my center. I like to catch, oops, I'm a little off there and make a micro adjustment. And this could include almost anything. For example, if I've been eating in an unhealthy way, I might do a little tiny tip on that side and um plan my meals more carefully or shop for more vegetables or get more healthy, right? Or if I'm indoors too much haha. I'm gonna tip that a little bit and go out and try to take a walk or get some sunshine or spend some time breathing fresh air anyway, I can. If I'm to social, I'm gonna absolutely pull in and find moments of quiet and solitude because I love community, but I'm not an extreme extrovert. There again, if you are, your balance is going to feel different. There is sort of a give and take to balance. So if you feel you are giving more of yourself than you are allowing to come in and receive, you're going to feel off balance right, you're going to feel depleted.
I have a real distinct memory and it's not one um that I feel good about, but I remember when my oldest son's were very young, I remember I was driving home from yet another meeting somewhere and I was volunteered all over the place and I was young and I remember this feeling like I was sort of bleeding out, right? I just had this image of, you know, blood coming from my, from my hands gross, right? But that feeling like there's not enough replenishing here, It's all going outward. That's imbalance. Yeah, right? Or for people who have been so busy and they sit down at the end of the week and think I didn't get to, you know, see my little child all week or put them to bed or feed them a meal that's heartbreaking, that's imbalance. Or you know, especially after 2.5, 3 years of covid to feel like I haven't been with people. First of all, I haven't been with people that I dearly love and appreciate as family and friends. And also I haven't been with just people face to face side by side, imbalance.
And parts of us inside can get imbalanced as well. This is always something to consider if you are feeling out of balance. A little tip from internal family systems, check in and notice if there are any parts of you that have sort of taken over your driver's seat. Maybe there parts that are overly managing your time or trying to please or parts that are even down, angry, depressed, whatever it is. If you feel out of balance, it is quite likely that you're sort of central energy, yourself energy, your higher energy has taken a backseat. That doesn't mean it's gone and that doesn't mean it is lesser. It just means that you're out of balance. So it's a great time to take a breath, slow down, feel your body and allow your nervous system to present back to your brain what is going on, right?
We often think and this is a very unbalanced thought. We often think that our thinking parts are all of us, I think therefore I am, my mind comes up with this idea. Therefore it's true. My brain knows what's going on with me well sometimes and sometimes that is absolutely not the case. Oftentimes our bodies know whats happening well before our brain and they have more clear information. Our bodies do. The parts that are in our Soma, the nervous system, all those nerves that run through your body, without connecting the brain is left to interpret without the whole story, right or information. I'll talk about this later. There's a whole lot there.
But in the moment, if you are feeling out of balance, you could be relying too much on your brain. Your poor brain, it is not you and it is not all of you. It is important and vital, but allow it to receive. So if you're thinking parts are trying to figure stuff out and figure stuff out. That is a way of being out of balance as well, yeah.
So take a moment to feel into your body. Notice what feels maybe not quite like you or heavy or congested or stuck or uncomfortable and give it a little bit of your time and attention, allowing the reality of what it's experienced to come up to your brain and that will help you rebalance.
How are you balancing this spring? I'm encouraging you if it's spring where you are to get out and look around and notice not everything pops out all at the same time and quote unquote comes back to life. You know, not everything has the same schedule. Many, many, many parts of nature are waiting, holding many parts of nature are ready, Some are dying right. Some are leaving pay attention and notice you are not different. You too are searching for balance, right? And then stand up, feel your feet take a breath, notice what's inside... you have options. Let me know what your thoughts are. If you need help with this, I can talk more about it. I hope you're finding your own real balance and remember it doesn't have to be perfect to be balanced. Thanks for joining me. I love being with you and I'll talk with you really soon. Bye now.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
If you just can't get enough and you'd like even more goodness, you can become a part of Seriouslyourself, The Membership Community. You'll receive a monthly magazine, personal gatherings and cool little treats delivered right to your mailbox. Find out more about that on my website: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/seriouslyourself-the-membership/.
And thanks to those who make Seriouslyourself special: our wonderful music is Midsummer from the album Flood by the fabulous Joel Helander. Seriouslyourself is produced by Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, Executive Producer. The ideas and inspirations come from beautiful humans like you, that I feel lucky to know. And I'm Ingrid Helander. Take good care of yourself. See you next time.