Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client With Rev Beverly Dale
April 12, 2019
Sexuality and faith, can they be combined to form a healthy relationship? My guest today thinks they can be and her new book helps professionals and people of faith do that. She is Reverend Beverly Dale and we’re going to have a lively discussion about her work and her book. We’ll also delve into one of my priorities which is the guilt and shame that so many women face due to their backgrounds and religious upbringings. Join us for an interesting and enlightening conversation.
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Thoughts and Questions We Discuss –
- Let’s start by sharing with the audience how you got into this combination of work – it seems highly unusual to be an ordained minister and also a sex educator. How did you get started in this work?
- One of my priorities with my coaching, my writing, and Ready for Love Radio is to reach out to people and women in particular who are dealing with the guilt and shame that have been heaped on them by religion and society. I dealt with it for decades and am far too familiar with what that does to your life and relationships – so I love what you’re doing and what you tackled in this book. It is VERY needed. What is the purpose of the book and who do you want to reach with the book?
- First – is there an easy answer to why we get so much negativity from religion about sexuality? The vision of the book is to move troubled Christian clients from sexual ignorance to sexual knowledge, from a sense of the scarcity of sexual pleasure and experiences to an embrace of ideas of abundance, and from the burden of guilt and sexual shame to experiences of sexual freedom and pleasure.
- Chapter 2 and the comments about being suspicious about science and anti-intellectualism were real ah-ha moments for me with this discussion and for me personally. I was raised around an atmosphere of don’t ask questions, and we’ll tell you what you need to know. And I’m very inquisitive and I ask lots of questions, I always have. In some circles, that’s really frowned upon.
- I think almost anyone can agree there is a lot of sexual negativity in most religious organizations. It’s easier to recognize if you’re a sex-positive person – I will admit. So what are the 3 signs or symptoms of sexual negativity? There are three main symptom categories of sex negativity: sexual guilt and shame, sexual dysfunctions and dissatisfaction, and problematic sexual behaviors
- You also mention the myth of sexual purity – what’s that?
- The embrace of sexual ignorance through the resistance to comprehensive sex education and science-informed cultural discussion relies upon at least two myths about children and young adults: Children don’t need to learn about sex and it is wrong to talk about sex. This ignorance becomes entrenched through the debacle of Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage programs. Science has thoroughly documented the problems with this approach to sexuality and can help to frame what is sexually healthy, normal, and acceptable.
- First religion teaches no sex or touching before you’re married, then some teach no enjoying the touch or sex for anything except having children once you are married. And it’s shameful if you do, so you better feel guilty. Is it any wonder people are screwed up? Oh, and if you want to do anything other than have “normal” intercourse in the missionary position with one man and one woman, then you better feel guilty about that too. What are your thoughts of that?
- Assessing the client’s perspective on their personal faith is critical in your work with them. What are some of their concerns that must be considered and understood? What personal concerns does the professional also need to resolve?
More Information About Rev Beverly Dale
About Rev Dr Beverly Dale
Reverend Beverly Dale is a published writer, vocalist, and performer, in addition to being an ordained minister. Her ministry has taken her from being a Pastor in a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) parish in Illinois for 6 years to 21 years of campus ministry at the University of Pennsylvania and now as the Founder and Chair of the Incarnation Institute for Sex & Faith. This is an educational non-profit that teaches an inclusive, science-friendly and sex-positive Christianity.
Her ministry has a very specific and unique focus: to help people of faith heal from the sexual wounding that occurs when they are taught to separate the spirit from the body, and also to provide tools for those who are developing a Christian theology that affirms the body and pleasure as God-given.
About Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client
Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client is an essential toolkit for professionals working at the intersection of Christian belief and sexual health. In this book, Beverly Dale and Rachel Keller deconstruct potentially harmful Christian beliefs around sexuality to support clients stuck in sexual guilt, shame and fear.
Combining the experience of an ordained Christian clergy with a certified sexologist, this guide promotes a new approach to sex and faith for therapists, which will help their clients to reconcile a belief in God’s love with sexual knowledge and fulfilment. Grounded in historical and cultural contexts, and drawing from both academic research and scriptural exegesis, the authors offer practical clinical applications and interventions to enable clients to re-examine their sexual beliefs in a way that encourages sexual healing.