Unfinished business - when you haven't said what needs saying
March 28, 2021
In this episode we will be talking about unfinished business. Is there something that you wish you had said to a friend/family member/partner or colleague? We will be talking about....
...communication that has been left hanging. Frequently, we don't tell another person what we think or feel because of an underlying fear that the other person may not like what we say. Our unexpressed feelings or thoughts may stay with us for hours, days or sometimes even years.
Why is it to difficult to say certain things to our partner? In relationships some partner struggle to say what needs saying. They may prefer to sulk. We explore the challenges that people face in expressing what they need to express and the impact it has on us in the short and long term.
In this episode we talk about
- sitting on a feeling, thought or experience that you wish you had shared with the person affected
- the discomfort that this unfinished business causes
- the idea of giving a lot of attention to others and not getting back from the seeds we sow
- the notion that we choose our partner (unconsciously) to get what we didn't get earlier in life
- the need to complete a cycle in our experiencing
- not talking about things that bother or hurt us
- the impact of not talking about the things that trouble us
- anxiety that gets in the way; our fears that the other person may not like what we say and therefore not love us anymore
- the blame that we attach to others when they don't say the right things
- sulking as unfinished business escalating conflict
- the consequences of not having had the conversation that we need over the years
- ways of expressing your frustrations, worries, fears, hurt in a safe way, e.g. 'I feel' statements, talking at the right time when there is capacity or focusing on one item of discontent rather than too many
- taking responsibility for your own feelings
- the choices we make to take on 'negative' emotions
- building more understanding for your partner's intention - they may not always be as bad as you think
- preparing for having a communication that might feel challenging
Find out more at therelationshipmaze.com
- sitting on a feeling, thought or experience that you wish you had shared with the person affected
- the discomfort that this unfinished business causes
- the idea of giving a lot of attention to others and not getting back from the seeds we sow
- the notion that we choose our partner (unconsciously) to get what we didn't get earlier in life
- the need to complete a cycle in our experiencing
- not talking about things that bother or hurt us
- the impact of not talking about the things that trouble us
- anxiety that gets in the way; our fears that the other person may not like what we say and therefore not love us anymore
- the blame that we attach to others when they don't say the right things
- sulking as unfinished business escalating conflict
- the consequences of not having had the conversation that we need over the years
- ways of expressing your frustrations, worries, fears, hurt in a safe way, e.g. 'I feel' statements, talking at the right time when there is capacity or focusing on one item of discontent rather than too many
- taking responsibility for your own feelings
- the choices we make to take on 'negative' emotions
- building more understanding for your partner's intention - they may not always be as bad as you think
- preparing for having a communication that might feel challenging
Find out more at therelationshipmaze.com