Crystal Clarity
March 10, 2022
Being crystal clear about yourself starts with identifying your patterns. It feels so good to stop doubting and fighting every little thing about yourself. This episode, I talk about how to discover what you, for certain, know is true about you. and to get clear about all of the incredible parts of who you are.
Hi there! Come on in. This is Seriouslyourself, the podcast, and I'm Ingrid Helander.
Hey there and welcome back, I'm excited to talk to you today because this is a topic that we were working on in my Seriouslyourself membership, and it's very much a part of being seriously yourself, and yet it's not always clear what we're talking about here, which is kind of funny, because the topic is crystal or being crystal clear. Do you like that idea? The idea of actually being really crystal clear about who you are, what you believe, what you stand for, how people see you? Yeah, I do too. I really do. I like that feeling and I think it's important. You know, one of the things that has been tremendously difficult in the past...I don't know... two years, right? Especially with the pandemic, and especially towards the beginning of the pandemic, the, the non-clarity, right? The confusion and the fogginess and the lack of information. Yeah, we like clarity. We like to have a sense of this is what it is. When I was working on the topic of crystal clear for my Seriouslyourself group, I learned a little physics. And I had not learned it, because frankly and honestly, I was too stubborn to take physics in high school or college, and therefore, I find I'm learning a lot of my physics now. I guess it's never too late. So a little physics here.
A solid is termed a crystal or crystalline if it has long range order, which is a neat word. I love that - long range order. And long range order means that once the positions of an atom and its atom neighbors are known at one point within a crystal solid, then the place of each atom is known precisely throughout the crystal. Right? It repeats, and it is predictable and you know it's there - and it's crystal! And I just love that. I think it's so fun that if you know the lineup of those atoms - and it's not just one atom that makes a crystal, right? It's, I don't know, however many are in the crystal, once you know the pattern, you know the crystal.
So we are obviously very, very complex beings. But it is so important that we look at our lives, you know, what we have been maybe since birth and really own the characteristics, the gifts, the qualities that are crystal for us. And sometimes they're not what we think they are. Right? You may have been raised thinking: Oh you're such a great caretaker, or you're such a good doobie. Good doobies, do things for everyone. But maybe you just had to fall into that role. And so as you're grown now you wouldn't want to look and go yeah I'm going to own that as who I am, as the quality of my crystal nature, right?
Or you might have been raised, you know, to be - well, you have to be very careful all the time. You know? "I know one thing about you, you're so careful!" Well, maybe you don't actually own that. maybe that was placed on you by having to be the structural force in your family or the cautious one when things around you were falling apart, et cetera. You get what I'm saying, Like we might at first blush think this is our crystal nature, this thing I've always been told or this idea that is sort of who I am. But it may not be really who you are. It may not be what feels the best for you, right? I've talked to people who always felt like they had to be the smartest in the room, and I'm not even sure some even recognized that they were kind of coming off that way. And I can relate to that a bit. I've got parts of me that really want to be, you know, intelligent and together and knowing and learned. But you know, that's probably just, you know, something that feels like an insecurity, right? Rather than a true crystal pattern.
So I'm wondering today, like when you think about what's crystal for you (and sometimes it's easier to find out by reading ideas.) For example. I had taken a whole bunch of characteristics and I just typed them up and it was everything from a person's size, you know: big, small, thin, heavy, muscular, weak, tall, round... and it was things like warm and cold and icy, frigid, athletic, you know, sexy, seductive, creative, artistic, you name it. And you know, if you start thinking about every possible way, you could possibly describe anyone, anyone socially or physically, emotionally, talent-wise and you put those all down and then you start looking at them and you go, Would I honestly own this quality? And when I say "own", I don't mean like would I feel great about it, because we learned so much judgment about who we are and what we're supposed to be. So, I would say if you can just put judgment back. Or if you feel yourself judging, you could put, okay I'm a judging individual. Yes, I'm going to own that and then don't make any judgment about it. Yeah, I'm gonna own that, right? Am I a sort of low energy person? Yeah, I'm going to own that. I always have, and I remember that when I was a kid, you might say, right, so take all of that. And Am I beautiful? Am I stunning? Am I thrilling? Am I adventurous? And just let yourself, yea or nay it, right? And if you're having trouble, go ahead and look for ones that you know you would never agree to and notice that feeling in your body. Because that will give you a great sense of well, okay, there's my baseline of "No".
And then see if you can find what you for certain know is true for you. Like maybe you would say I am kind and you know that for certain, and you feel that in your body, you see? So you start developing this little compass about what is crystalline in your makeup. And then I would say own it, cherish it, rejoice in it. Someone had said in my group, "Well, I don't like that I'm a people pleaser." Well, okay, you know there's that judgment in there, and it certainly probably has some merit. But I would say, Are you pleasing? Do you like to be pleasing, to be pleasant? Do you appreciate pleasantness? Do you have a sense of accommodation and fulfillment for others? Can it get out of balance? Of course it could! But is that a bad quality? Probably not. And if it feels kind of innate or natural for you? Well let's own it! Why wouldn't you want to? It is who you are.
So you can start playing with these ideas and really enjoy them. Enjoy being exactly who you are and then see how they line up. You know, it's almost like -- and you see this with really wonderful astrologers, people that do horoscopes, right? And sometimes when you read those, you could read every one and pick out the one that is yours. I swear this is true ,and I'm not even a huge follower. But you could. And I think it's because there are these clusters of characteristics, right? These crystalline patterns that maybe people tend to based on the stars. I don't know, but it's fun to look at them, because you can really get a sense of your place with yourself, your lineup of what is your truth. And then if you can look at them in ways that you can say, you know, I absolutely own this, and I will use it in a balanced way to my best - and probably for the betterment of others as well - in a way that doesn't feel like I've got some kind of a doom or a burden about me. Okay.
And you might come up with some qualities that are maybe not quite looked at deeply enough. So for example, if you came up with the quality, like, well, I just know that I'm misunderstood, (I think that was one that came up in our group.) Well, what's under that? What's under that? Well, I think in unique ways or I have um dyslexia or I have a unique style. Those are the crystal parts of it. You see, the ones that are under. I have a way of calculating with numbers in my head versus anything else. Okay, those are what I would call the crystal patterns, the ones that you can really certainly know.
So I would say to try this, you know, try it on your own, see how it feels. Write down as many descriptive terms as you can think of, and then rule them in and rule them out and then come up with a few that feel like: I own this and use your name. You know, I Ingrid Helander, am creative. I, Ingrid Helander, love beauty. See, I can say those things and my body does not back up at all. It goes full forward. Yeah, that's what you like. I, Ingrid Helander, enjoy thinking about people. Oh yeah, I always have.
So once you've done that, remember that? That gives you a basis, a very nice solid foundation upon which to celebrate the organic nature of your life, which is that more fluid part? You know, there are actually crystals that have a component that is solid and liquid. So taking that metaphor, remember that as you have this crystalline structure about you, you're still organic growing, moving and being. And while you're,Yes, definitely going to be yourself. You get to play with all of that in new adventurous, exciting, artistic, creative and growth-oriented ways. But if you fight against them forever, you see, you're going to get stuck and feel sad and unhappy, and that's when all that judgment walks in the door.
So are you feeling crystal clear about you today? Do you know what you want to say out loud along with your name? Do you know how you want to feel about it? Take a minute and investigate a little bit. Write it down. Play with it. Share it with people you love and ask them for theirs .Then each day you've got something to really grow into and grow with: your crystal. Are you feeling that? Am I understood? Mm hmm... crystal. See you soon. Bye.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
Hey there and welcome back, I'm excited to talk to you today because this is a topic that we were working on in my Seriouslyourself membership, and it's very much a part of being seriously yourself, and yet it's not always clear what we're talking about here, which is kind of funny, because the topic is crystal or being crystal clear. Do you like that idea? The idea of actually being really crystal clear about who you are, what you believe, what you stand for, how people see you? Yeah, I do too. I really do. I like that feeling and I think it's important. You know, one of the things that has been tremendously difficult in the past...I don't know... two years, right? Especially with the pandemic, and especially towards the beginning of the pandemic, the, the non-clarity, right? The confusion and the fogginess and the lack of information. Yeah, we like clarity. We like to have a sense of this is what it is. When I was working on the topic of crystal clear for my Seriouslyourself group, I learned a little physics. And I had not learned it, because frankly and honestly, I was too stubborn to take physics in high school or college, and therefore, I find I'm learning a lot of my physics now. I guess it's never too late. So a little physics here.
A solid is termed a crystal or crystalline if it has long range order, which is a neat word. I love that - long range order. And long range order means that once the positions of an atom and its atom neighbors are known at one point within a crystal solid, then the place of each atom is known precisely throughout the crystal. Right? It repeats, and it is predictable and you know it's there - and it's crystal! And I just love that. I think it's so fun that if you know the lineup of those atoms - and it's not just one atom that makes a crystal, right? It's, I don't know, however many are in the crystal, once you know the pattern, you know the crystal.
So we are obviously very, very complex beings. But it is so important that we look at our lives, you know, what we have been maybe since birth and really own the characteristics, the gifts, the qualities that are crystal for us. And sometimes they're not what we think they are. Right? You may have been raised thinking: Oh you're such a great caretaker, or you're such a good doobie. Good doobies, do things for everyone. But maybe you just had to fall into that role. And so as you're grown now you wouldn't want to look and go yeah I'm going to own that as who I am, as the quality of my crystal nature, right?
Or you might have been raised, you know, to be - well, you have to be very careful all the time. You know? "I know one thing about you, you're so careful!" Well, maybe you don't actually own that. maybe that was placed on you by having to be the structural force in your family or the cautious one when things around you were falling apart, et cetera. You get what I'm saying, Like we might at first blush think this is our crystal nature, this thing I've always been told or this idea that is sort of who I am. But it may not be really who you are. It may not be what feels the best for you, right? I've talked to people who always felt like they had to be the smartest in the room, and I'm not even sure some even recognized that they were kind of coming off that way. And I can relate to that a bit. I've got parts of me that really want to be, you know, intelligent and together and knowing and learned. But you know, that's probably just, you know, something that feels like an insecurity, right? Rather than a true crystal pattern.
So I'm wondering today, like when you think about what's crystal for you (and sometimes it's easier to find out by reading ideas.) For example. I had taken a whole bunch of characteristics and I just typed them up and it was everything from a person's size, you know: big, small, thin, heavy, muscular, weak, tall, round... and it was things like warm and cold and icy, frigid, athletic, you know, sexy, seductive, creative, artistic, you name it. And you know, if you start thinking about every possible way, you could possibly describe anyone, anyone socially or physically, emotionally, talent-wise and you put those all down and then you start looking at them and you go, Would I honestly own this quality? And when I say "own", I don't mean like would I feel great about it, because we learned so much judgment about who we are and what we're supposed to be. So, I would say if you can just put judgment back. Or if you feel yourself judging, you could put, okay I'm a judging individual. Yes, I'm going to own that and then don't make any judgment about it. Yeah, I'm gonna own that, right? Am I a sort of low energy person? Yeah, I'm going to own that. I always have, and I remember that when I was a kid, you might say, right, so take all of that. And Am I beautiful? Am I stunning? Am I thrilling? Am I adventurous? And just let yourself, yea or nay it, right? And if you're having trouble, go ahead and look for ones that you know you would never agree to and notice that feeling in your body. Because that will give you a great sense of well, okay, there's my baseline of "No".
And then see if you can find what you for certain know is true for you. Like maybe you would say I am kind and you know that for certain, and you feel that in your body, you see? So you start developing this little compass about what is crystalline in your makeup. And then I would say own it, cherish it, rejoice in it. Someone had said in my group, "Well, I don't like that I'm a people pleaser." Well, okay, you know there's that judgment in there, and it certainly probably has some merit. But I would say, Are you pleasing? Do you like to be pleasing, to be pleasant? Do you appreciate pleasantness? Do you have a sense of accommodation and fulfillment for others? Can it get out of balance? Of course it could! But is that a bad quality? Probably not. And if it feels kind of innate or natural for you? Well let's own it! Why wouldn't you want to? It is who you are.
So you can start playing with these ideas and really enjoy them. Enjoy being exactly who you are and then see how they line up. You know, it's almost like -- and you see this with really wonderful astrologers, people that do horoscopes, right? And sometimes when you read those, you could read every one and pick out the one that is yours. I swear this is true ,and I'm not even a huge follower. But you could. And I think it's because there are these clusters of characteristics, right? These crystalline patterns that maybe people tend to based on the stars. I don't know, but it's fun to look at them, because you can really get a sense of your place with yourself, your lineup of what is your truth. And then if you can look at them in ways that you can say, you know, I absolutely own this, and I will use it in a balanced way to my best - and probably for the betterment of others as well - in a way that doesn't feel like I've got some kind of a doom or a burden about me. Okay.
And you might come up with some qualities that are maybe not quite looked at deeply enough. So for example, if you came up with the quality, like, well, I just know that I'm misunderstood, (I think that was one that came up in our group.) Well, what's under that? What's under that? Well, I think in unique ways or I have um dyslexia or I have a unique style. Those are the crystal parts of it. You see, the ones that are under. I have a way of calculating with numbers in my head versus anything else. Okay, those are what I would call the crystal patterns, the ones that you can really certainly know.
So I would say to try this, you know, try it on your own, see how it feels. Write down as many descriptive terms as you can think of, and then rule them in and rule them out and then come up with a few that feel like: I own this and use your name. You know, I Ingrid Helander, am creative. I, Ingrid Helander, love beauty. See, I can say those things and my body does not back up at all. It goes full forward. Yeah, that's what you like. I, Ingrid Helander, enjoy thinking about people. Oh yeah, I always have.
So once you've done that, remember that? That gives you a basis, a very nice solid foundation upon which to celebrate the organic nature of your life, which is that more fluid part? You know, there are actually crystals that have a component that is solid and liquid. So taking that metaphor, remember that as you have this crystalline structure about you, you're still organic growing, moving and being. And while you're,Yes, definitely going to be yourself. You get to play with all of that in new adventurous, exciting, artistic, creative and growth-oriented ways. But if you fight against them forever, you see, you're going to get stuck and feel sad and unhappy, and that's when all that judgment walks in the door.
So are you feeling crystal clear about you today? Do you know what you want to say out loud along with your name? Do you know how you want to feel about it? Take a minute and investigate a little bit. Write it down. Play with it. Share it with people you love and ask them for theirs .Then each day you've got something to really grow into and grow with: your crystal. Are you feeling that? Am I understood? Mm hmm... crystal. See you soon. Bye.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Seriouslyourself. To help treat yourself well each week, go ahead and subscribe to Seriouslyourself wherever you listen to podcasts, and please share this link with anyone you love who might be seeking a little more truth and delight in their lives.
If you just can't get enough and you'd like even more goodness, you can become a part of Seriouslyourself, The Membership Community. You'll receive a monthly magazine, personal gatherings and cool little treats delivered right to your mailbox. Find out more about that on my website: ingridyhelanderlmft.com.
And thanks to those who make Seriouslyourself special: our wonderful music is Midsummer from the album Flood by the fabulous Joel Helander. Seriouslyourself is produced by Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, Executive Producer. The ideas and inspirations come from beautiful humans like you, that I feel lucky to know. And I'm Ingrid Helander. Take good care of yourself. See you next time.