What if I told you the root cause of your procrastination, inaction, and inability to make things happen comes down to avoiding one thing. The reason for your lack of success and progress in life is a result of your inability to do this one thing.

 

Welcome back to the Internal Journey, I’m Kam Knight, author of several books in the area of mental and human performance. Each week, we get at the root of your internal resistance and self-sabotage to unlock your full potential.

 

As I mentioned, I am a coach and writer, and I can’t say that I am the best coach or writer or even should be coaching or writing, but I can say that I have coached and written enough to have many realizations about what is holding us back.

 

One of the biggest realizations I’ve come across and the root of what's holding people back is that they don’t want to grow up. Many people, especially in this culture, don’t want to grow up. They don’t want to become an adult.

 

They want their problems solved or get to the next step in life doing the same exact thing as they were doing before. They want to lose weight while still eating cake. They want more time without giving up media. They want financial success without putting in the effort. They want a life partner without going out to find one. They want people to respect them, without standing up for themselves. They want to be understood without learning how to communicate. They want pleasure without going through the pain. More or less, they want the reward of being an adult without actually becoming one.

 

I can’t say that I’ve been above this. Most of my adult life, I handled things like a child, who shouldn't be writing or coaching. And it's through the writing and coaching that I came across this idea, and realized I was as guilty as the rest. Once I realized it, I realized much of my pain and struggle was because I was acting and responding to things like a big baby, reacting and rebelling instead of acting. I realized I needed kill this part of myself and to grow up. To learn more about killing parts of yourself, check out this episode here - links in the description.

 

What makes growing up challenging is that many of us don’t know what that means. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of good adult role models. There are not a lot of them around. Some might act like adults in some situations, but not in others.

 

Even more, movies, music, and commercials are constantly pushing this message of not growing up, from Toys R Us’s famous jingle "I don’t want to grow up," stories about Peter Pan not growing up, generations of mainstream music like rock, rap, and hip hop pushing this message of living a life of endless partying, to reality TV showing people acting immaturely.

 

Even in personal development, I feel like everyone is a child, it’s children teaching people how to act like adults. I can’t tell you how many programs I’ve attended where the person giving advice was still a child. And if they are acting like an adult, only long enough to sell you something.

 

Nobody seems to want to grow up. I feel like we have become a society of babies. Crying, kicking, and pouting when things don’t go our way, and taking no action to change them. Instead of growing up themselves, they're teaching or telling others to grow up.

 

If you find yourself procrastinating, giving up when things get tough, hesitating on the next step, avoiding a bigger calling, holding in resentment, or just running away from life all together, all I can say is that it’s time to grow up. It’s time to put on your big boy and girl pants. It’s time to act like an adult, even if childish behavior would bring immediate results.

 

It’s not easy. Life is tough; success is hard; patience is frustrating; learning is painful; going against the grain is difficult; and rejection hurts; it freaking hurts. Though adults don’t run away from these things. That's what children do. Growing up means facing them head-on. I can't say how to go about it or that I'm even there, I'm still a work in progress on this.

 

What I can say is that it’s not as bad as it seems. It doesn’t mean not having fun or being playful. It simply means accepting responsibility and doing the things that matter. I know the people around you don’t want to do it, so they would rather have you not do it either. Though you still do it despite everyone around. 

A good exercise is anytime you are stuck, frustrated, or unable to move forward, ask yourself, how would an adult handle this. If I were an adult, what would I do. If you are lingering in bed longer than you’d like, ask is this what an adult would do? If someone upsets you, ask, how would an adult respond. I’ve found thinking about that helps me become proactive when normally I would be sitting around wasting time.

You don’t have to be an adult 100% of the time, in all situations, but the more the better. In fact, there is a level of joy you can never achieve or experience until you do, and I’ll talk about that next time. This is Kam Knight of the internal journey, please like and subscribe so you don't miss out on these fantastic episodes.

******* Check Out My Latest Books *******

- Speed Reading: Learn to Read a 200+ Page Book in 1 Hour - https://www.mindlily.com/speed-reading

- Everyday Memory: Easy Ways to Remember Names, Dates, Facts, Lectures, Directions... - https://www.mindlily.com/memory

- Concentration: Maintain Laser Sharp Focus and Attention for 5 Hours or More - https://www.mindlily.com/concentration

Conquer Internal Resistance to Make More Money, Have Better Relationships, and Live a Fulfilling Life - https://www.mindlily.com/ir