Dating Kinky
GUEST POST: Single Guys: Roles in the (Cuckolding/Hotwife/Swing) Lifestyles
April 8, 2022
Bulls, playmates, occaisionals, oh my! Single men in the cuckolding/hotwife/swing lifestyles.
At the end of February, I was in California for a bit and decided to share some amazing content from other voices in the kink world. 

I loved being able to boost those voices, and the response was enthusiastic.

I was hoping that would be the case, because I really do want to share more content from other spaces in the community. 

And so, today, I'd like to present some thoughts from a dear friend of mine in the cuckolding/FemDom space, Mistress K. The first time I heard her on a podcast, I knew we would be great friends, and I was right. In this piece, she shares some of her thoughts on single men in the cuckolding/hotwifing/swinging fill different needs with different actions. 


I'd like to note that the terms used in here, specifically "bull" and "stallion" in reference to men make me genuinely uncomfortable from a personal standpoint. However, these are terms that are used commonly within the man-as-a-third lifestyles, and accepted and understood. 

I tend to use the term "bullfriend," specifically because it is more humanizing (to me), and I love the people I play with. However, there are no real substitutes used widely. 

I'm not saying this to reduce Mistress K's message in any way, but to let you know my own thoughts that may be similar to yours, especially in you are not a part of the lifestyles discussed. 

And even taking away those terms and the lifestyle-specific references, there is something to be said for how well she breaks down what works for her and attracts her in her nonmonogamous relationships with single men. 


Single Guys: Roles in the (Cuckolding/Hotwife/Swing) Lifestyles

What makes a Bull?  

That’s a thought that I’ve been pondering a lot lately.  It is different for every couple.  

Personally, I am picky with whom I bestow that title.  This is my own quirkiness that probably comes from disliking the way the word Bull is thrown around as a catch-all moniker for every guy who plays as a single man in the Lifestyle. 

As Michael C from the Keys and Anklets podcast says, “there is a big difference between a man that wants to fuck your wife and a Bull.” 

I take that statement a step further. 

To me there is a difference between a man, who understands my hotwife/cuckold dynamic, and a man, who my husband and I are BOTH comfortable with taking on more of a dominant role in our presence.  

Because, while I think there are many single guys that are suited to be playmates, not all are good candidates to be my Bull.  Some are “stunt cocks” that can come in and fuck the hell out of me in front of my husband and also be perfectly respectful to both him and us as a couple.  

However, are those same men suited to order my husband around, and would he be receptive to taking orders from that man? 

Not necessarily.  

So in my opinion, we have a variety of single guy types in the Lifestyle.  How I interact with these men and how they, in turn, interact with me, determines which type I tend to view them. 

There are Bulls-men who truly care about creating an experience for a couple and understand their role while also getting something out of it for themselves. 

Playmates-experienced men who know how to play with couples or solo.  While they may not connect with us in that dominant way, they are awesome play partners and create some very fulfilling encounters for me. These are my most consistent play partners, my repeat performers!  

Find the full transcript for this episode here.