Unapologetically BOLD: I'm not sorry for....
Connecting with people daily with The Fry's
November 4, 2020
Are you connecting with people in 2020? -Well, Duh! How about connecting daily? -Ugh Maybe How about connecting daily with no agenda other than to see how amazing humanity is? -Wait....What? That's so cool! Yes, this was our exact thinking when we first heard of Stephen Fry and Donna Fry about their 366-day journey to meet someone new every day. They have a love for humanity and have been using technology to connect with people around the world. Listen in on this conversation about why they are not sorry for connecting with people daily and some of the insights they have learned.
Are you connecting with people in 2020?
-Well, Duh!
How about connecting daily?
-Ugh Maybe
How about connecting daily with no agenda other than to see how amazing humanity is?
-Wait....What? That's so cool!

Yes, this was our exact thinking when we first heard of Stephen Fry and Donna Fry about their 366-day journey to meet someone new every day. They have a love for humanity and have been using technology to connect with people around the world.  

Listen in on this conversation about why they are not sorry for connecting with people daily and some of the insights they have learned. 

P.S. Our favorite bot still hasn't mastered the Southern Accent (and apparently neither the Australian) but you get the general vibe of this awesome conversation. 


[00:00:01] spk_0: welcome to unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If you are a person that is tired of apologizing for being you, you know the human part of you that sometimes feels like it has to be different at home versus work versus play.  The Human side that just wants to be hot, humble, open, and transparent about your wants, desires, and uniqueness. If you answered yes, this podcast is for you. Join me, Emily Elrod as I dive into conversations with Amazing Guest about what they were not sorry for in creative and loving ways. Let's get started. I am so excited today to have Donna and Steven on with me. If anybody has been on Instagram or linked in, or any of the other social media networks, they might know of Donna and Steven as they're on a journey to connect with somebody new each day. And I am blessed for them to come on today. Tell us about it and some of the lessons that they have learned. So thank you so much for joining us.

[00:01:07] spk_1: Thank you for having us so

[00:01:09] spk_2: glad to be here.

[00:01:10] spk_0: Mhm. Um, anybody that is new to the show or is it continued watcher, Please continue toe like subscribe and share, as our goal is to bring positivity to your news feed but also bringing some real life experiences on ways that we could be What we say It's hot humans humble, open and transparent so that we know how to be unapologetically bold for things that are just us. So with that, let's get started. Oh, what are you all not sorry for?

[00:01:47] spk_1: We're not sorry for connecting with people daily.

[00:01:50] spk_2: Definitely not sorry. Connecting with people

[00:01:52] spk_0: daily. So where did this all come from? Like how did you get started on this?

[00:01:59] spk_2: Yeah, well, just a

[00:02:01] spk_1: bit of a story

[00:02:02] spk_2: is just not something. I woke up one day and thought this would be a great thing to dio We heard of someone in Seattle. The whole place is 4.5 years ago who connected with people every day, took a quick photo with them and put on Instagrams. And I remember looking that gun this is a great way of this would be a great thing to do. But then I remember also thinking, um, man, But how would someone do this? Like, how would you talk this on every day. So remember talking about it with Donna and we had this thought about this would be so cool to do, Um, but we just weren't ready for it. So the thought stay with us for about 12 months and there's thoughts. Do they either stay with you or you or they go away? Um, but because it was a persistent thought, just we've got to do this. This is a cool thing to do that just one day it started way met someone and just just started Andi When it started, I forgot the chill dollar.

[00:03:01] spk_1: But it was fun. Then we would just come out of an event somewhere one day. And we're already in the habit of sort of like just talking to people, probably myself more so than Stephen, because I'm just that sort of person. And so we're walking past the young lady sitting on a bench, and we stopped and said hello, and we're having a little chat with her. And then next thing Stephen says, I'd like to ask you a question, if that's okay, and I'm thinking, Oh, I wonder where this is going on. But she said, Yeah, sure. And he said, Oh, we've decided Thio started journey of meeting someone new every day for the next 366 days. And I was like, Wow, we've started, Dad, be great! And she was really read to be number one.

[00:03:45] spk_0: That is awesome. And that's just something that I love, too. Is that you just just did it. You just went out. People feel like you have to have this elaborate plan. You have to have all these ideas, But you just acted and you did. And what have you learned from this experience?

[00:04:04] spk_1: E think the

[00:04:07] spk_2: learning helps with understanding why we started Well, like the biggest question. We always get it. So why What do you want to do? This what was simply so learn how to better communicate with people without an agenda. And if you've read Stephen Copies book that seven habits of highly effective people have it, five is all about seeking to understand before being understood, we just saw that as something like a skill or a habit that would really we really wanted to develop. So having conversation of their agenda was really the starting point of all this on get started physically meeting people. We thought our journey was going to consist off going around our hometown every day. Onda meeting people Thio connect with. And it wasn't till the coronavirus happened and forced us inside. That led us to link Bean Andi connecting with people across the globe that we never even thought of when we started this look.

[00:05:09] spk_0: Oh, and that's that's the thing is you're in Australia and I am in America. And whenever we talk, the one thing that I loved is that you being across the world, we had so many similarities and it just let humanity shine. So what would you say is some of the stories or some of the people that really stood out to you that it was just like a You're just an awesome human. So talk about some of those that made it connecting worth it

[00:05:44] spk_2: Well, the ones that might have the connecting worth the most weren't the ones that we thought Wow, like this guy's in this guy. We met some people that have gone through some incredible our challenges in their life and overcome the most stories we can all draw strength from. But it was the people that we met that challenged us the most with the ones that we found the most. The most interesting. Um, as an example, you talk about same?

[00:06:16] spk_1: Oh, yes, yes. And that this was actually a person that we met physically early on in the journey. And we had one of those days which you're doing now, Then where it got very late and we hadn't met anyone yet. That was in fact, it was 11. 30 at night. So we had half on our left to go before we were determined. Were like, you know, this is a daily journey where not not missing a day here. So we went to the gym, as you do at 11. 30 at night. Them wait, did a little bit of, you know, sort of a five minute workout and just sort of looking around. Who can we talk? Thio. And then as we work, step coming out near the door. There was a guy sitting there, and he was a hugely muscled guy like his armed with Giant. And he was sitting there, headphones on, looking down at his phone. And I thought that guy looks so scary. I'm not gonna talk to him and eso I'm walking along and I'm seeing Steven looking at him, thinking that I don't talk to him, he looks to Skerry. Then they're here. Steven Se gi mate, you've got Beyonce s. Oh, my goodness. Is he gonna be mad? You know, and this guy stood up and took off his headphones. Thanks, mate. No, because because he's also covered in Terri's. Ah, no, thanks. Maybe goes. And then we stood there and had this great conversation. And he was just the loveliest young man with an amazing story. And and and afterwards, when we left, I thought, Wow, that was a really, really smack in the head for May. Really? Because I felt like I judged him and thought not. I want to talk to him because he's scary looking and whereas, you know, that was not the fact that all he was just a lovely person. So that was a big, big lesson in prejudging people. And so we had to really work on that one and to make sure that we didn't do that in the future.

[00:08:07] spk_0: And I think that's big, too. Is learning lessons through this too, because there's a quote that I say every now and then. It's like whenever you make assumptions, be careful because you might end up looking like the first three letters of the word. And in that process, there's a lot of times where we can assume how people were asked to react or think. And that's what I love about this and the work that you are doing. It doesn't matter what people look like, what race they are, what religion they identify with as long as there are human and they're willing to talk. In essence, it's really just the main qualification for for talking with y'all, which, you know, should kind of be like you think of kids as a child. It didn't matter who you had. As long as they're on the playground. Let's play, you know? No, what? Some things that you I will say that you will take away for life from this,

[00:09:05] spk_2: Um so I guess there's a number of things, but I guess a confirmation of a number of things to start with. Like, you know, the hardest thing to do was to start, like, really, what's the hardest we thought about this for 12 months. Um and you know, we didn't start this week. It was a journey of learning way before this. But once we heard about this idea, it would take us 12 months toe. Actually, Dio, let's give this a go, Onda. Once we started, though, that was the house. But after that, it was actually quite easy because all we had to do is every day. Just look at what we're doing today. We couldn't worry about what happened yesterday. You know, tomorrow hadn't come. We've heard this before, but it was thrust that that made a little difference. No, it was achievable If before we did everything we could possibly do today No, it didn't work out that we didn't meet someone. It didn't matter because by the end of the day would have done everything we possibly could off. That was sort of really helpless. My father, things that will take away that will that will be with us forever is to understand how help how enteric we actually were and how judgmental we actually were. We judged by more than we thought we did. And we were were less hard than we thought. We were they will take away the most. Um just just simple things on judging people when we were physically meeting people, way had to say hello to enough people to have someone that would have a conversation with, You know, you just don't walk up a complete stranger. You have a conversation, get a photograph with them, Not everyone. Is that what willing to have a conversation? So we had Thio say hello to enough people that someone would be willing to have a conversation and what that taught us Waas to, um, you know, you can only control what you control. I've heard that lots of times before extended like the cliche, but it was so true. But all I can control is reaching out and, you know, connecting with someone. If they choose not to respond, that's not a reflection on me. It's a reflection on them. Um, I did initially take it inward. In other words, what's wrong with me? What am I saying wrong? But no, Like I'm doing the right thing, I'm reaching out. But then I went a bit deeper than that, because, um, you know, we found ourselves in when someone would not want to connect with us when we're talking with them. That go. I didn't have the thoughts, okay? With something with them, It's nothing. Do with May, you know, and I'll start thinking of not good thoughts about that particular person. And that's when we learned. Also, I've gotta learn not to judge their non response, but because I'm not in their shoes. I don't know what's happened within that day. So if they choose not to respond to me like, I shouldn't be judging that either that was that took us. That was a longer, a longer thing delay. In fact,

[00:12:12] spk_1: it was a good realization, though, you know, because then then, instead of you know someone not talking to you and you're saying to yourself or to each other, what's wrong with them? You know what they so grumpy? It was more like, Oh, gee, I hope they're OK. You know, I hope they're not having a bad day and and and it's a lot more loving and kind than G. What a grumpy person.

[00:12:34] spk_0: And I think that's cool to build up that almost like that empathy muscle, like there's all much like you guys did so much learning and what actually feels, I don't know. Well, I'm speaking from assumptions, but a short period of time. Um and it's by implementing things in doing hard stuff, Um, and just putting it to action. So I think this kind of brings in a question from the audience. And Nathan Bennett asked what's been the upside to doing this, but also what has been some of the downside? As as?

[00:13:10] spk_1: Well, um, well, the upside is just just getting to meet so many amazing people and hear so many amazing stories because we really have. Yeah, we've We've sat here and just had some great laughs with people. And also sometimes, you know, I felt sadness and and compassion for people on what they're going through on Bit's just bean amazing and some of the people that come on, I guess, you know that are even shy. But they just so badly want to come along and meet us, and it's it's just like, Well, this is just so cool. I think the upside these just seeing the happiness that it brings people thio to connect with someone and tell their story and then see it up there in print, and and that's just being really cool. I guess that's just one of them. Um, e

[00:14:08] spk_2: think for us the upside These one of the upsides is realizing how some people really appreciate um, you know, the fact that you reach that had a conversation with them Like we started this with the thought of learning How the better have a conversation with people ourselves, not realizing that, um, people really, really appreciate it. You reaching out having a conversation with them. It's that bit off. It's definitely an upside, but I still I still struggle with, you know, this is just us. Well, we try and learn how to communicate with people. Maybe if you come and live with this for a day, you might not have excited Thio. Well, wait a minute. Um and I guess one of the not so much of a downside, but it's It's just the limit limitation off time eso we made? No, not the silly Missed a cough back when people started asking us. How do you select people way? Don't select people ever wants to have a chat? We'll have a talk with Doesn't matter where, what time we'll work. Something else. Um, but then that's led to now more people that talk Thio, we've probably got time for

[00:15:36] spk_1: Seo lack of time. It's

[00:15:40] spk_2: just gonna be a limit. How maney deliver How many people we can talk to him the next 99 days. But the interesting fact is, looking at what we're planning to do, uh, we're gonna end up talking to probably the same amount of people in the next 99 days not expected to speak to the whole journey.

[00:16:00] spk_0: Oh, wow. So

[00:16:03] spk_2: that the right way Young will speak to close to 366 people in the next 99 days. Um and then when we started this will planning on speaking the one every day, that's that it's not a downside, but it z

[00:16:21] spk_0: on unexpected it zone. Excellent. Yes. And I love that you are doing this to again for the lessons that you are learning. But the one thing that whenever we did talk the one thing that it helped me because I know that whenever you speak I don't know sometimes I don't know if you if this was your goal at first, but y'all speak life into others as well. And I don't know if you do that if you know that you do that. But you dio. But in the conversation that we had, you help me reassure that humanity is actually good. And because I have this theory that 90% of humans are amazing, there's 10% that makes such a racket that it just feels like it's 50 or 60% of times. So from your experience, talk about that. That majority like your thought about the majority of people and humanity.

[00:17:24] spk_2: Yeah, well, it's want to because what we've learned through this one of the things we have learned and it's again and more of a confirmation is we've met. So we've met a number of people who have been severely challenged and who has risen over that challenge. Um, as an example, we met a young guy Justin again on linking in the UK who you must have been in his twenties. He was in the army, got posted to a certain place still on the land, mine on, had both his legs blown off and now has an amputated above the knee. And so listen and talk to him just like another, another person and hear about his eight years of surgery and everything that he's done toe to be where he is today and do things like Climate, Kilimanjaro and this similar people, too, that that we've spoken to with incredible stories like and you look at that and Ugo with the seeds of greatness within each and every one of us, what we all have them in sort of us. But they only change the show themselves. When you get under some sort of pressure, the seeds of greatness stain just fall out on the table, and there they are there. They tend to only come out when you're oppression. That that reminded me of an old audio Earl Nightingale. Um, some people might remember watching job, but he he was the first guy that created a, I guess, a positive message on an LP back in the fifties. Yes, the most mesmerizing voice you can find is that actual recording he did on YouTube called The Strangest Secret and on the eerie points out that the words he uses so on shoes, his words. But he says it doesn't take a lot of brains to make a living today, and he said that in the fifties, and it's the same today because it doesn't take a lot of brains toe actually make a living. Most people on the daily activities aren't challenge, so greatness will never come out. So what do we learn from that? What we learned from that is we have the winning the challenges we have toe find ways to live outside our comfort zone because the things we want him alive and the changes we want are always on the other side of their comfort zone. Um, yeah, that's That's one of the things we've learned will work but reconfirmed for us from talking to people that there are human beings have incredible ability to overcome. But it doesn't seem to come out until you actually challenged

[00:20:10] spk_0: mhm. And I think that's such a good point, too, because that's something I've said definitely during the season of life with Cove It and just constant change. And the unknown is there's a saying that the number one addiction, and and specifically in America is is drugs and and different things. But I say it's comfort and that's number one addiction for no matter where you're at in the world is that we want to stay in our comfort in 2020. It's making us so uncomfortable. And the irony is, is that you started this before everything hit the fan. So tell me a little bit about that. About how getting even more uncomfortable than it already Waas. Especially for like, the world standards. How did that even grow Y'all more?

[00:21:11] spk_1: Oh, that's a good question. Um, Jamie, because because it was unexpected having to move on to LinkedIn and connect with people. So to start with, that was just like, Oh, how How are we going to do this Andi way? Just still, semen happened upon a lady who just put out a something on Linden, saying, Oh, I'm just gonna have an open one hour chat session for anyone who wants to join me. So we thought, like, Well, he's good starting point. So we jumped on there one day and talk to her, and there were a couple of other people, so, you know, there's a couple of other connections and then then just built up. I am sorry. I guess it was just Yeah, we just had Thio to embrace that different challenge, I guess. Oh, well, this is just gonna be nothing like we thought it was gonna be and and just just go on and figure out how toe do that whole connecting thing. And unfortunately, we talked to some nice people in the beginning who were good, you know, really great on linked in and did all sorts of things. And they gave us some good hints and tips and helped us toe, you know, to push past that. Well, what are we doing here? Kind of fear into becoming a lot more comfort people with all Well, what a fantastic way to connect and yeah, just really kind of blew our minds. Didn't just how awesome it became. And and, you know, it kind of was a snowball effect, because as soon as you talkto one person and put something up, then there's some people liking, so then you connect with them, and then, you know, it's just this great whole whole network of people, and that is just huge. And before that, I've never even used linked in in my life. And then I thought, How am I gonna use this? You know, I'm not really big on social media. And, you know, at first he just going on grumble, grumble, gotta change, Gonna do something different than it was just like. But how fantastic has it turned out

[00:23:07] spk_2: the biggest difference which turned out to be the biggest advantage was that when you physically make people, it's a great skill to learn how toe have a start, A conversation with someone that you meet but that I tend never tend to go really in depth because it was completely unexpected. And and we haven't really been ableto continue any of the conversations that any depth that we met physically. But it was a great way to learn how to connect with people. What link things done for us is, might it easy to connect with people because people willing to connect? But then it's helped develop the other skill, which is you now actually engaged. You know, a 30 minute conversation, you know, literally face to face, almost like being on the other side of a coffee table. So you're now developing those conversation skills that we really wanted to develop, which was how to understand the understand people before being understood ourselves. on day. It's been quite that Xena learning experience as well, not realizing that when you seek to understand, you're actually you're making yourself become vulnerable because you're opening yourself up to listen to other people's beliefs that may be different to yours. So it becomes a learning. That's where you start to learn tolerance. We found ourselves the first time I realized this. I remember speaking to a lady when we're out and about physically meeting people, having a great conversation with, ask her some questions about herself, and then she mentioned something that was a completely different belief to mine on. It was like the brain stop like it, really like we're having this conversation. Then here's something that it's like My brain just froze and I stumbled through the rest of the conversation, and I remember going back and sitting down with Donna going, Why does that happen? Like why? Why? Just because there's something that you don't relate Thio that it just affects the conversation and what what we did then is we We called our we call over the lady. I spoke to him on our fished upto Um, what I was thinking just just a learn more and just see what the reaction was. And and we had a really good at conversation after that. There again, there was another Go sit in the car and Dio just happened E Why why did this happen?

[00:25:37] spk_0: But I love that that part that you continue the conversation and how many people stop it there. And it makes me think of on Thursday, which is actually Friday, your time we are going to be having a conversation with a guy named Mick and Mick is not sorry for being a convicted felon. And nobody would know that he's a convicted felon until he, like, says it because he's just this down to earth guy. But you know, once you hear that and the prejudgment that can from it. But how many lessons have learned it was like this. How many lessons have you learned in such a great conversations that you've had from going past that uncomfortable phase and seeking to understand? So it is, uh, I swear this is such a blessing to be able to hear you all speak about this. And I think the one thing that I love about this, too, is that no matter what form you are, connection is contagious. It really is whenever you come without an agenda and you just want to connect, cause once you told me I was like, I'll tell everybody was like, I wanna make you with X y you know, like all these different people that I think are awesome. You know, that would get value from you. Um, per se And I know I also know that would be reciprocated as well. But still, it is just It was so interesting to see the work that you do. So I know we're right at our time. So my final question for you all is What would you say to somebody that apologizes for connecting with people daily?

[00:27:20] spk_1: Stop it. Oh, no, don't Don't apologize because people love it and people need it on. We've just been really blown away by the number of people that have been so excited just that, just that we've sat down and had a chat with them and and it's it's still amazing to me after all this time, even because you know how we started out was on. And it kind of sounds selfish, but doing it to better ourselves and grow ourselves and and just just get better at talking to people. But I guess it's if you do something with good intent, it's gonna have that good repercussion as well. So, um, yeah, I seriously, anyone that that's sorry for thinking about doing something like that, and I please don't go ahead and do it because people need it and people love it

[00:28:12] spk_2: that not apologize for it because it is the it is. It is a way that you can add value. The people just taking the time to talk to someone, show that you appreciate them because you're taking that time. So, you know, for us we see that the way we're adding value is just by having that conversation without an agenda.

[00:28:33] spk_0: And I love that and the thing that makes me think even mawr is that on on some of the lessons that I've done in trainings. At first it was just me giving information, and I was taking time, and it was like I didn't feel like the engagement. And then I just like, Okay, I'm gonna give you a few talking points. Let's just all chit chat. You know, talk about where people need people. And that is what I have found right now more than ever. Especially in this space of the unknown. Especially in this space of being. What I say is, ah, hot, human, humble, open and transparent. Being vulnerable more than we have ever been that people just need people. And I am beyond blessed for y'all for looking for those people. And so, for any people looking for y'all, what would you How can they reach out to you? How can they connect with you?

[00:29:26] spk_2: That's so they can we We've recorded everything from the day we started on Instagram. So it's a the Stephen Fry with the p a t the Stephen Fry and on instagram Stephen Fry Linking Sorry, Stephen Fry on Booth. And it's easy to find because a photograph on making is with both of us would do everything E.

[00:29:55] spk_0: S, um and I think I'm gonna end with this comment to it says this was the best I've seen, and Nathan's watched a lot of these. Um, he's been in since March, so this is humans at her best. This was great, simple, but very challenging, and I think that sums this up And I think that sums you all up that you every time I talk to you all add so much value to my life and just and you're across the world, that's the other thing that you're literally across the world and you took the time. I know it is what you say. 5 a.m. is better be

[00:30:28] spk_1: It's nearly 6. 30. Yeah, yeah,

[00:30:31] spk_0: yeah. So it you are across the world early in the morning on the next day, I'm to speak with me without the agenda just to speak your humanity and what you've learned So I am forever grateful Thank you so much for joining us. And thank you for everybody that tuned in. I hope you have an amazing and blessed day. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If this touch shoot anyway, please like and subscribe and share with your friends as we continue the message of being unapologetically bold, Bobby and hot humans who are humble, open and transparent. See you next time