Dating Kinky
Stuck in crisis? Journaling may be an answer.
May 4, 2022
I start out with a question, usually 'How am I feeling?' and the date. Then, I answer the question.
When I'm in a bad headspace or there is an ongoing situation that I cannot see my way through, I journal it. 

It's not pretty. 

It's not really even clear, because it only refers to what is in my head and it's not meant to be read by anyone. Not even me, although I do, sometimes, go back and read them. 

It's meant to get words on paper and to allow my thoughts to be expressed and HELD IN PLACE in ways that my brain sometimes can't do in the middle of crisis. 

What kinds of crises? 

- When my mother passed away. 
- When I left my abusive ex. 
- When my partner was going through something I couldn't understand, and it was affecting our relationship. 

And so on. 

It's rare. Maybe once every 3-4 years in my life. But when I need it, it always comes through. 

With my mother's passing, it took me about 5 months of journaling to work through the anger I felt towards her for not getting her cancer treated, because she didn't want to burden me and others in her life with illness and bills. 

When I split with my ex, it took me almost a full year to work through how I felt about the abuse AND to really take a close look at the parts I played. Turns out, I fought back in my own way, and also abused. NEVER saw that coming. 

When my partner was going through something that deeply affected and even threatened our relationship, it took me two months of journaling to find a way to speak about it in healthy ways, and to find the space in my mind to accept that experience, even if I could not comprehend it.  

Find the full transcript for this episode here.