Michael Yardney: Mindset & Habits of a Great Negotiator Revealed

Transcript:
Michael Yardney:

And if you believe investing isn't good, then it'll find all the reasons why it isn't. That's why some people in this economy today see great opportunities, and a lot of people, under the same circumstances, see only bad things ahead. That's why if you believe, at work, people don't like you, you'll find all sorts of reasons why people don't like you. If you believe people like you, you'll find the good things.

**INTRO MUSIC**

Tyrone Shum:

This is Property Investory where we talk to successful property investors to find out more about their stories, mindset and strategies.

I’m Tyrone Shum and in this episode we’re back with the best-selling co-author of 'Rich Habits, Poor Habits' and Metropole Property Group Founder Michael Yardney. Well-equipped with more than five decades of investing, he explains the power of mindset and the value of having a team. Plus, he reveals how being a good negotiator is key to buying or selling property!

**END INTRO MUSIC**

**START BACKGROUND MUSIC**

Empowering Beliefs v. Disempowering Beliefs

Tyrone Shum:

Collaborating with author and fellow investor Thomas Corley on their best-selling book, Yardney has been able to relay his observations on his successful clients' thought processes. Now, with an eager approach, he goes into the thick of it and sumarises how our thoughts, feelings, and habits lead to their inevitable results in our lives.

Michael Yardney:

Because it's a universal concern that people want to get richer, they know others have...They know there is some... Well, they think it's a secret to wealth, and they want to become wealthy themselves. So it's a collaboration between Tom Corley who has become a good friend who lives in New Jersey, and me.

Tom did a study of the rich and poor of his clients in his CPA practice. So for five years, followed them asked lots of questions tabulated.

Over the years, I studied many of our clients and ran a mentorship program for many years, where I saw many successful and not as successful clients.

And what we did was we found successful people didn't have other things to invest in. They had shares, they had properties, they had business. But they did things in a different way because they thought in a different way. They have rich habits. And the average Australian has poor habits. They have empowering beliefs, and they have disempowering beliefs.

And as I studied this, I realised a lot of these beliefs we have about money started when we were young—things we heard our parents say or not say. Things we saw our parents do. The things we experienced. Because our mentors, I guess, as you grow up, are your parents; the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

So my parents were very conservative. And my sister became very much like them, very debt-averse. But sometimes you become like your parents. And other times you do the opposite.

I was angry. I was crossed. To be blunt, I didn't enjoy my childhood. I didn't have a pleasant childhood. So I rebelled. And while it worked in some areas, it wasn't good in other areas of my life. So one doesn't always become like one of his parents. But parents influence you very much by things they say, things you saw them do, and experiences you had.

So these ideas, these thoughts—these ways of thinking, because your thoughts lead your feelings, your feelings lead your habits, your habits lead to your results—these things were formed as a child when you didn't really understand much about money. And it is at a subconscious level. But they carry through to even adult[hood].... right through your life.

And [in our] workshop wealth retreat, well, [what] we do is, even though this is a room of very, very successful entrepreneurs, business people, investors, we work through how they can work out [and] understand what their limiting beliefs are, and then remove them and replace them with positive beliefs.

But amongst these very successful people, there were a couple of themes that came through. One of them, interestingly, Tyrone, was the feeling of not being good enough. That was an interesting theme of amongst almost all the successful people. Now what they did, though, was they use that as a motivation to drive them, while other people would say, 'Oh, I'm not good enough. I'm not even going to bother to [try]'.

Tyrone Shum:

Yes.

Michael Yardney:

And so what we did in 'Rich Habits, Poor Habits' was unpack a lot of these things so people could actually see what they did, what others do, and replace some of their disempowering beliefs and some of the poor habits —because their beliefs become habits because [they] repeat them.

A really good example is —one of the rich habits successful people have is—reading regularly, but reading to learn, not reading for amusement. So successful people are avid readers.

Now, that was in the initial study, but today, I'd extend that to learners on podcasts and learners on YouTube. The bottom line though is you [have] got to be careful who you listen to, because everyone's got an opinion about property at the moment. So you've got to be careful who you listen to. You know what they say about opinions: They're like belly buttons— everyone's got one, but that doesn't mean it's got a good purpose or a good use.

On Rich Habits and Mentors

Tyrone Shum:

Acknowledging the fact that team effort is a key factor in any development or investment endeavour, Yardney continues to delve into the rich habits that can be powerful allies in one's pursuit to property success.

Michael Yardney:

One of the rich habits is to recognise that you can't do it on your own. You need to be as part of a team. So I still have mentors. I've got a couple of masterminds I'm part of, and they're different.

I've had business coaches for, well, the last 20-something years. And over the years, as I've outgrown one business coach, I've had another.

In fact, my business coach for the last decade or so, Mark Creedon—[he] became [a] good friend—[and I], we've put together 'Business Accelerator Mastermind', which is a program that coaches other business people. But as well as, Tyrone, he's now become the CEO of my company. As I said, I've stepped back so I've actually allowed others to run it.

But I've realised long time ago on my own, I could run faster. But as a team, we can run further. And now that I'm 70, I can't run [indiscernible]...

An Ode to Legacy

Tyrone Shum:

Indeed, Yardney has always been a champion for having the right mindset in property investing. As he has evidently cultivated a long-term perspective over the years, he now talks about the legacy that fuels his continued effort to grow his wealth.

Michael Yardney:

Over the years, I initially wanted to grow wealth.

And if that's your aim, you'll never have enough. And so I had to find a better purpose for it. And one of them is to leave a legacy.

For example, we're running another charity ball shortly. If anyone's interested in supporting 'Hummingbird House', which is a hospice for terminal kids in Brisbane. It's a terrible issue if you know your child's not going to survive long.

(Hummingbird has charity-ball.com.au.)

Pam, my wife, is running our fourth charity ball. We would tap back over COVID. But we've done three in Melbourne to give back to the community.

We also have children and now 11 grandchildren in my blended family. I'm not investing for me anymore. I'm investing for them. We pay our grandkids' school fees. I'm not shy about talking about helping our kids into the sort of accommodation I would have liked to have.

It's not what you leave your kids, it's what you leave in them. So I think it's also important to show the right examples.

On Friendships and Passions

Tyrone Shum:

Looking back on how his collaboration with Corley came about, Yardney tells the story of how they met —that was rooted in a shared passion—, thus bringing about a partnership that yielded a best-seller.

Michael Yardney:

Well, it's really interesting. I actually met Tom Corley on Twitter. I liked his tweets, and I read his blogs. And I said, 'Can I republish them in Property Update?' Because it's a newsletter that goes out every morning with eight articles.

And then I invited him to come to Australia as a guest speaker at our wealth retreat, and a friendship developed. And I could see we thought about things in common. So therefore we... genuinely, once you get to a particular level, we both wanted to help other people.

You don't make much money out of books.

You may, look... I can make more out of the Amazon royalties than I do from hardcopy royalties. But you spend hours and hours, days, weeks, weekends doing it. So I enjoy doing it.

But one of the most exciting things is when I get an email from somebody who sent me an email and said, 'Hey, I picked up your book at the airport. And it's really changed my life'. Because it makes people recognise... they read it and see themselves and say, 'Oh, that's one of the things I'm doing'.

'Negotiate, Influence, Persuade'

Tyrone Shum:

Yardney highlights yet another book that he hopes would continue to help people be better negotiators —whether they are in the property game or not.

Michael Yardney:

The other book that's made a big difference and done very well overseas is called 'Negotiate, Influence, Persuade'. And that's particularly interesting for property investors. But it's also been picked up by one of the very large real estate chains, who bought hundreds of them to give to their salespeople.

My publisher said, 'Michael, you've been involved in billions, billions, of dollars worth of property deals; you should write about negotiation'.

And then as I started to write about that, I realised that in the world, you're either negotiating all the time—whether with your partner about who takes out the rubbish bins or [who keeps] the bed, and when do you clean the room before you come at cetera—so we all want to win.

I mean, if you're buying an ice cream, that's not a negotiation, you don't want to win. But everyone talks about how this win-win [situation]. But most of us though, to be honest, don't want to have a just a win-win. We wouldn't want to win. What we want to do is do it safely.

So that book was written to help people get the best deal every time whether they're buying or selling. So it ended up being much more than negotiation. But it was persuasion, understanding, how to speak to people, how to read people, and speak to them in the right way to get them to believe you, to get them to understand you. Because there's so many messages at the moment from all areas, particularly on social media.

And so, that's another book I'm very proud of as well. I mean, I've done a lot of property books, but these are ones that are more general and have worked really very well.

**ADVERTISEMENT**

Tyrone Shum:

Coming up after the break, Yardney breaks down the three things that good and great negotiators consider to keep the power of any exchange on their side.

Michael Yardney:

So good negotiators start the game of negotiating, knowing what they want in the end, and understand what they can do to get more power and realise they should be involved, but not too much.

Tyrone Shum:

The long-standing belief he has on luck and on how intelligence has nothing to do with being financially successful…

Michael Yardney:

Outsiders would say, 'He was lucky'. I'm not sure that I was. I got myself there through hard work.

Tyrone Shum:

He gives insight to an inspiring conversation he recently had that effectively continued to ground him in gratitude for the little things in his life.

Michael Yardney:

He's in one of my mastermind groups, and Kevin [Rempel], then at 23 broke his back. And he was a Paralympic champion, playing a sport called sledge hockey.

Tyrone Shum:

And that’s next. I’m Tyrone Shum and you’re listening to Property Investory.

**READ ADVERTISEMENT**

**END ADVERTISEMENT**

The Brain and What Science Says

Tyrone Shum:

Unpacking the driving force behind people's decisions and what separates the financially well-off from others, Yardney now explains the psychology of how it works based on what science has to say about the brain.

Michael Yardney:

I think in today's society, most of us are keen to rush in and do things quickly. Like the example I gave of that couple from regional Victoria, who bought the house on the weekend.

People don't do things wrong on purpose. They do things because they think they're right. And they've gotten... They haven't got the right paradigm to think correctly. And that's where, I guess, the 'Negotiate, Influence, Persuade' book is useful as well, because it actually goes into the psychology of it.

I learnt that if you're a good negotiator, you can do okay. But if you're a great negotiator, you can do very well whether you are buying or selling.

So while there were lots of books about sales techniques and closing techniques and negotiation. And this one, as you said, was more about the psychology of why it works, understanding the sort of people that you're dealing with—the analytical people taking information very differently to big-picture people. The people who are more feelers and socializers will be attracted to different things than a big-picture and analytical person.

So there's a science behind why some people are wealthy rather than others. And a lot of it really has to do with what you're thinking and how you've been programmed.

You see there's something in the mind called, in the brain I should say, called the 'reticular activating system'. And that's a bit of a GPS. Your reticular activating system is the bit that stops all the information coming in. Because we get all this input all the time from all areas, things you hear, things you feel, things you sit on.

While we're saying [all this and] I sit on this, I'm thinking about it. Now I'm realising I'm sitting on a chair. I didn't feel the chair underneath me before because the reticular activating system blocked it out.

I was speaking to somebody recently who had a baby, and he sleeps through— his wife had a baby— and he sleeps through the night. But as soon as the baby's due, she wakes up because her reticular activating system is aimed at that.

So your reticular activating system is...

I remember, when I was teaching my son Harrison to drive, we were driving down to Penn Highway and he said, 'Hey, Dad, look at all the Toyotas look at all the Corollas'. And I said, 'Well, Harrison, look at all the Mercedes' as what he was aimed at looking at. So our reticular activating system is looking for opportunities. But it's programmed by you and will only filter in things that already fit in with your pre-conceived, pre-programmed ideas.

And so, therefore, we are... that's why we're driving around with one foot on the brake, because it's blocking out a whole lot of other opportunities.

So studying the psychology of this is useful. So it's in one way a filter; it filters information. So it will filter your name—if you're at a busy airport and all of a sudden you hear your name despite all the noises, you'll pay attention to that. But similarly, it'll look for opportunities.

So the reticular activating system is actually filtering things out. But it's also a GPS. You tell it where you want to go, what you want to achieve, it will find the way then, and you don't necessarily need to know exactly how. Just like with the GPS in your car, you put in the final address, and it will give you a couple of routes to get there, and it will go down. Then if you go off route, it'll take you back again.

So there is a huge...

There is a science behind this. And there is a way of reprogramming the way you think, because—I've said it a few times—your thoughts lead to your feelings, your feelings lead to your actions, and your actions lead to your results.

So that's the sort of things I like learning about, reading about, writing about, and teaching people about.

On Great Negotiators

Tyrone Shum:

Continuing on the subject of negotiators, Yardney discusses what sets the good and great negotiators apart from the 'just okay' negotiators.

Michael Yardney:

Well, I think great negotiators know how to read the other party, and they know [or] realise that negotiation is a game.

Now it depends upon what you're talking about. So as I said a moment ago, if you buy an ice cream, it's no big deal. But if you're buying a property, or if you're buying a big-ticket item, then you've got to know the beginning, the middle, and the end of the game. You've got to be involved, but not too much.

Great negotiators know that there are a couple of things that keep the power in their favour. The power is helped by people's knowledge; the more information you have, the more power you have or perceived to have.

Options is another great one. If you've got more than one option, then you're at an advantage. If you have to buy that home because that suits your family inside your lucid dream home and there's nothing else like it in that suburb, then the negotiating power is with the other side, because you're desperate for it.

And time is the other one. If you've got to finish that deal in a certain time because your pre-approval runs out, or you've got to buy that whatever it is, it's not necessarily probably because of time. So because if time runs out, then again, the negotiating power's on the other side.

So good negotiators start the game of negotiating, knowing what they want in the end, and understand what they can do to get more power and realise they should be involved, but not too much. In other words, don't get too disappointed if it doesn't work.

Luck and Opportunity

Tyrone Shum:

True to his calling of giving back and helping out with family and assisting his clients, Yardney speaks boldly about his own set of beliefs. Thus, with raw honesty and measured words, he reveals his thoughts on luck, opportunity, and intelligence.

Michael Yardney:

Luck, in my mind, is very important.

But like, there's two sorts of luck. There's random luck, like winning the lottery. And then there's the luck that you create for yourself, Tyrone, by educating yourself, knowing what's going on, being in the right position, and creating the opportunity and then recognising it when it's there.

So am I smarter than other people? You know, I've never taken an IQ test. And I know there's a lot more intelligent people than me who actually haven't been as financially successful as me. So I don't think it has anything to do with intelligence.

To be honest, some of my most successful clients are dumb. I hope they're not listening to this.

Rather than... when I used to do seminars, I used to say, 'Hands up, the intelligent people in the room', and most people were a bit shy to do it. [And I also say,] 'Hands up, the analytical people in the room', and more people put up their hands. And I say, 'You guys are in trouble'.

Most successful people, many successful investors say, 'Hey, there's a multi-multi-millionaire who's educated, more successful property investors than anyone else. I'll just listen to him. I'll do what he says'.

So I've surrounded myself with good people. And I've put myself in the position. Then when opportunities arose, I took advantage of them.

Outsiders would say, 'He was lucky'. I'm not sure that I was. I got myself there through hard work.

Growth and Daily Gratitude

Tyrone Shum:

This successful investor and best-selling author continues to live his life to the fullest. With happiness in his voice, Yardney opens the curtains to what he enjoys and what keeps him grounded in gratitude.

Michael Yardney:

I'm having fun doing what I'm doing. I enjoy it. I've got a small group of clients I deal with. I've got a team of about 80-something people that I still—even though I'm not the CEO—I'm spending time [with]. I did a long training session with them just a short while ago.

I'm still learning and growing. As I said, I've got my own mentors. And every night before I go to bed, I actually—I'm not a metaphysical person— but I actually think about what was the highlight of my day? I want to go to sleep with something good in my mind.

And last night, interestingly, it was because my granddaughter Eden gave me a lovely hug as I left her in the afternoon there. In the [indiscernible], I visited one set of grandkids one day and another one another day. So things like that are very, more important than money.

And then each morning, I actually wake up— and again, I'm not a metaphysical person. I want to start with something good, something I'm grateful for. And today for my podcast, the Michael Yardney podcast this morning, I got up early to interview somebody from Canada, who was a Paralympian champion.

He's in one of my mastermind groups, and Kevin [Rempel], then at 23 broke his back. And he was a Paralympic champion, playing a sport called 'sledge hockey'.

Never knew there was such a thing. I looked at it online. It's like, I guess, people are playing basketball or tennis from a wheelchair. They were playing hockey, knocking each other in these little sleds. Because they couldn't walk. And I thought, 'All my problems are irrelevant when you see what other people have done and what they've achieved'.

Michael Yardney:

So, I'm enjoying simple things. I still enjoy the lovely house I live in and the beautiful cars I drive. But I've learned to appreciate other things in life.

**OUTRO**

Tyrone Shum:

Thank you to Michael Yardney, our guest on this episode of Property Investory.