Dating Kinky
Can emotions be wrong?
February 14, 2022
Emotions in my mind are simply feedback. They are not good or bad. They simply are.
I say no. 

Because emotions in my mind are simply feedback. They are not good or bad. They simply are. 

They are information. 

And like many other processes, they are a result of input (which can absolutely be wrong), and they result in feelings, thoughts, and actions (which can also be wrong). 

And some of you will probably say that I'm being pedantic (I may be), or that I'm just wrong (also possible), however, looking at my own experiences this way has made a difference to me, and so I'd like to share it with you. 

A few years back, I had a lovely date night with a charming man in San Francisco. We flirted, danced, explored interesting food and drink, and more than anything else, we talked. Our conversation covered a range of topics from 80s emo boys to the idea that feelings and emotions could be separated and by doing so, humans could understand themselves better. 

And that stuck with me. 


Emotions Versus Feelings Versus Thoughts Versus Mood Versus Actions

That's a lot of versus, I know. I can be an EXTRA sort of person sometimes. 

Let's start at the beginning. 

Emotions. Happen in about 1/4 second in our minds AND bodies in response to stimulus, either real or imagined. Chemicals are produced to prepare us for some sort of reaction, and are released in another 1/4 second. Emotions last about six seconds, total, and are designed to warn us about something going wrong or inform us when something goes right. 

Feelings. Are usually a combination of multiple emotions happening in our bodies at the same time, or so close to each other as to not make a difference. They happen after we experience the emotional sensation/chemical dump and begin to process it in our minds. They are both the beginning and the result of interpreting the emotions we experience. Feelings, like emotions, are experienced in both mind and body. For example, we talk about feeling pain both physically and emotionally. 

Thoughts. As we process and interpret our feelings, we think about them. We interpret them further and assign meaning consciously. 

Mood. A gathering of the thoughts we are having added to other stimuli such as weather, company (human or animal), atmosphere and physiology to create an overall experience that colors any and all additional inputs (which can in turn effect emotions). Moods can last as little as a few minutes, and as long as, well...days? Months? They can stick around. 

Actions. What we do in response to our thoughts and moods. 

Find the full transcript for this episode here. [LINK TO BLOG] 

Link to my writing about emotional vocabulary:

Link to Plutchnik's model: