Safety FM with Jay Allen
Laura DiBenedetto
August 18, 2020
Today on The Jay Allen Show, Jay speaks with Laura DiBenedetto. Laura is a TEDx Speaker, #1 Bestselling author of The Six Habits and Life Mastery Coach, Laura teaches how to create the life of our dreams without sacrificing what we love. As Founder and CEO of Vision Advertising, a company that she built aged 19, she has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs build and grow profitable enterprises entirely on their terms. Laura’s story begins with bullying, abuse, bankruptcy, and burn out. She overcame everything, building a successful business at age 19 and went on to retire at 37 with a 6-figure passive income. She has learned the formula to build a life of joy and now follows her passion to share this message with others. Enjoy it all today on The Jay Allen Show.
00:00:04] spk_1:  Well, hello and welcome to another episode of the J. Allen Show. Today's Tuesday, August, the 18th of 2020. Well, hopefully everything's going good in Grand and Your neck of the Woods. We had a lot of feedback about last week's episode with Candace Whore Backs. Seems like a lot of people enjoyed the episode with Candace. Hopefully, we'll have her on in the near future. Well, today we continue down the path of having conversations with people that are outside of the safety world, but I think will be important to the conversations that we have here on a daily basis. So today I have the privilege of having Laura Di Benedetto on the show. Laura is a Ted ex speaker, a number one best selling author of The Six Habits in the Life and Mastery. Coach Laura teaches how to create the life of your dreams without sacrificing what you love. As a founder and CEO of Vision Advertising, a company that she built at the age of 19 she has held hundreds of entrepreneurs, build and grow profitable enterprises entirely on their terms. Laura Story begins with bulling abuse, bankruptcy and burnout. She overcame everything, building a successful business at the age of 19 and went to retire at the age of 37 with a six figure passive income. She has learned the formula to build a life of joy and now follows her passion to share this message with others. It is my privilege and honor to welcome Laura di Benedetto to the jail in Joe Laura. Welcome to the show. So I guess I have to start off with the standard question that I'm sure you get 1000 times. So let's do it. 1000 and one. What was the first company that you started? 19. And then you decided to retire at 37. How did that work?

[00:02:14] spk_0: Eso started the company in 19 because I had 14 jobs in one year. What half got fired from the other half was like, you know, I don't feel like this whole employment thing is really working out. So, um, to the sign and I I decided to just create my own company and of course, being 19 I thought I knew everything, so it gave me lots and lots of courage to start a company and move forward with all the courage that ah person needs to really embark on that kind of adventure. And, um, it's a marketing company. It's vision advertising. It's still kicking butt in Massachusetts. And, um, yeah, this is our ah, we're currently celebrating our 20th anniversary, which is, you know, not really capturing headlines because a lot of other stuff going on in the

[00:03:01] spk_1: world. Are you talking about what's going on right now?

[00:03:05] spk_0: I don't know. Um, unfortunately, nobody cares. So I will be probably celebrating our big 25th anniversary five years from now. Hopefully, the world will no longer be on fire by then. So yeah, that's the company vision advertising. I'm super duper proud of it. So let me ask

[00:03:23] spk_1: kind of a couple strange questions. You said 14 jobs in one year. At this particular point, you go through. 14 jobs are the in the advertising field at the time you dared him to go, not one. So why all the sudden the ANC's of going out and doing the advertising gig?

[00:03:38] spk_0: Well, it started out as just a creative thing. Um, I was running a motorcross track. Um, that was fun. I picked up a lot of crumpled bodies off the dirt on and, um, you know, I just like I we had hired someone to do the marketing, and it was so easy for me to, like, reverse engineer the website and reverse engineer everything. So I, um I was always that kid that used to like to take my toys apart. Um, if I was still a kid that played with toys, I'd probably still be that person. So I just took things apart. I was like, Oh, that's how that works. That's how that works. Ended up getting my hands on some bootleg software. And I feel safe saying that 20 years later So the nice people in Adobe aren't gonna come after me. Hopefully, you

[00:04:27] spk_1: know, you never know. You never know.

[00:04:31] spk_0: I know. So, um, I was able to, like, teach myself like everything and learn. Um, all the design learn all about, um, you know, a lot of marketing tools like websites and brochures and this and that. It started out as just a design company. And, um, you know, I just really was having such a great deal of success with it and my clients were experiencing a lot of success is the result of the advice that I gave them. Sales always came naturally to me. Marketing. It's one of those things where, yes, you can learn it. But either you're born with it or not. Either get it or don't. Um and I was always in the I get it same thing with sales. So it was very, very easy for me to just start, you know, giving people really good ideas and the ideas were like making them loads of money. I was like, you know, maybe I should do more than just just creative stuff. Maybe I should actually turn it into a marketing company. So I did. And, um, yeah, that it wasn't the direction I started with, but I'm pleased that it went that way.

[00:05:36] spk_1: So when you kind of look back now at that whole marketing aspect, you have to say, Well, this is before the Facebooks of the world and everybody going, Oh, Facebook ads, Facebook ads. So you're doing marketing? So you've seen so many different trends? Probably from you know, that stand point of your career to this point, I mean, do you see anything that repeats itself like we're going to see in fashion or what? What are you seeing?

[00:05:59] spk_0: I like that you're asking that question. Most people don't, and that's a good question to ask. There's two different types of marketing. Um, and this is actually in one of the new courses that we just released. A vision advertising through Vision University, which is a new thing. Thank you, Cove. It, um, where I'm teaching all about marketing foundations and marketing foundations is something where I answered that very specific question. And that question is so important because there's evergreen knowledge. And then there's modern knowledge. Okay, The evergreen knowledge is things like publicity and PR and word of mouth. Sure, the methodology and the execution might change over the years. Oh, and it has. But the core foundation of it hasn't changed. That doesn't change like events, even though they're different being held on zoom. Now, events are still events and a lot of the same principles still apply. Then you've got things like, um, you've got Pinterest. You've got Facebook, you get instagram. You've got new things like a rise of the influencer. These are all modern things where they don't have evergreen principles attached to them. And they don't have, um a lot of the I guess, perception of hard work. They appear a lot easier. They appear to be things that you can dio, um, faster and more efficiently. They they often will involve a lot more track ability and metrics than a lot of them or evergreen things. Um, but at the end of the day, marketing actually hasn't changed. Even though some of the tools have in my company. I'm so proud of this. So I'm just gonna It, um my company was one of the very first ones to adopt social media as, ah commercial platform when it was first starting to be a thing. And a lot of those companies that are existing in the central Massachusetts area now they got their start because they came to my class is so I have always been the bold, intrepid one that's like, Yeah, I have no idea how to do this. Sure, what's in the deep end of the pool, anyway? Well,

[00:08:04] spk_1: and it's interesting to hear because it sounds like you're still pretty involved, but it also says on your bio information that you are retired. It does not sound like you're retired at all.

[00:08:14] spk_0: Um, well, here's

[00:08:16] spk_1: maybe you're retired from the day to day. That's the only thing that I can fathom. But I even think I'm wrong there with that assumption.

[00:08:22] spk_0: Um, no, I did retire, and I 100% walked away from all operations and everything. All I retained waas helping my successor make the occasional difficulty or a large decision. Um, other than that, she is a carbon copy of me just a little bit tougher. Um, but I'm sad to say, in May this year, it was revealed that she has cancer, So I was called back into the company to run it for a couple of months while she gets back on her feet after surgery and radiation and things like that. So, yes, I did retire. Apparently they just just like me so much. Needed me back. So, um, back I'm running it. And during the whole Koven thing, it's like, Well, you know, brick and mortar marketing, Um, and serving a lot of restaurants turns out, is not that great for company revenue. And if my successor were there to pivot the company during this crazy crisis, she'd be doing it. But instead I'm doing it. And soon as she's back, I'm out of there again.

[00:09:22] spk_1: Well, and let's kind of talk about being back and out of there at the same time because you live in Hawaii currently, and you're seeing Massachusetts. So while you virtual are you there in person?

[00:09:33] spk_0: Hell, no, I

[00:09:34] spk_1: e I just want to double check. You said

[00:09:38] spk_0: you sonically a lot. All of my family and most of my friends, and like, my heart is in Massachusetts. Um, and, you know, I'm running an East Coast company on Hawaii time, which on a good day, aloha time is a little sludgy. Um, but being six hours behind the world and patently refusing to begin my day at 4 a.m. just out of respect for myself, my own well being, those things are probably not ideal. But I come first. My health is most important, and as a result of making really good decisions, my team is unbelievable. I'm so grateful for them. They're really helping me to hold things together. While, um, you know, I'm not online cause I don't really get online. available. I mean, I'm awake at six. AM every day, so if they need me, they can talk to me as early as noon. But if a client needs me like they handle it, But we have an unbelievable team that Julie has trained him really well. I've trained him really well. There's so independent, they've got our backs. I've got There's, um Yeah, you know, I expected this would go like crap, to be honest with you, but it's not I mean, despite being in a perfect storm, you know? Ah, there are a lot of things that are not quote unquote right. But it's going really, really well. And, you know, everything that brought us together with, you know, the whole six habits work that I've done is directly attributable to why I'm still happy, functional, and now CEO of two companies full time.

[00:11:18] spk_1: Well, and that was what I warned. Ask your neck is at what point does the book come about? When do you decide? Hey, I want to move forward with the six habits.

[00:11:26] spk_0: The six habits. Actually, waas not the goal. The goal was to find out why I was such a depressed, grumpy loser when I retired. So when you retire at 37 you think you have a lot to be proud of. And you'd be really excited naturally, right? Except except I wasn't OK. What I was was bitter. Feeling like a failure, feeling like my success wasn't big enough. House wasn't big enough. My car wasn't fancy enough. I didn't have enough awards. Just how do you

[00:11:56] spk_1: feel it? It's like a failure. At 37 retired, I It doesn't click in my head,

[00:12:01] spk_0: Jay. We all feel this way. We all have feelings of imposter syndrome from time to time. And, you know, one of the things that, um, isn't really widely talked about. Some of the most successful people in the world are successful because of this fire that's constantly looking at their heels, which is the fire of I'm not enough. And I was not immune to that. And frankly, when I retired, um, it was December. I was, ah, a couple months prior. I mean, I was really hardly working that last year was like maybe 5 to 10 hours a week. I had done a very good job firing myself. Um, but like August, new England. You don't work. There's no point specially if your primary function is sales. Nobody wants to buy or sell anything, cause summer last, like, two minutes in New England. Okay, so, um, I wasn't doing a lot of sales. I'm just, like, screw it. Just like every other year. It took most of August off, and I just remember sitting there almost catatonic in my bedroom, just being like, Damn, I'm feeling like such a loser. I'm comparing myself to my friends. I've made new friends, and I don't feel like I'm good enough for them. Cool enough for them. Feel like I've done enough my life. And no matter what I've achieved or what I have, I just feel remarkably insufficient, like just a fat loser. What is wrong here? Because on paper, I should be, by all accounts, incredibly happy, because on paper, I am a marvelous grand success. Something isn't lining up here. So, being an entrepreneur, that means I'm a problem solver. I see a problem. I'm like, Yeah, that's my job. I'm gonna go fix it. So the problem this time wasn't a marketing plan. It wasn't anything else. It was something I needed Teoh, um, to fix.

[00:13:44] spk_1: So you decide that this is something you're gonna fix? So what research do you start doing? What path? You start going down saying, if I'm having this problem, I would assume some other people are having the same issue.

[00:13:56] spk_0: Well, you know, like, ah, like every big journey of self. It's very egocentric. You know, my journey was all about fixing me and putting myself out of pain, and I was in a lot of it. I mean, a lot was fighting with my husband. Who, You know, we just got married the year before. Um, you know, it just wasn't good. And, you know, I started researching all these different things so I could make myself feel better. I did the research. I found what I needed and that I applied all the wisdom, which, by the way, is a notable point. You must apply wisdom. Otherwise, why have it have

[00:14:34] spk_1: the knowledge right where you have the knowledge if you're not going to use it?

[00:14:36] spk_0: Correct. Correct. So that I implied the knowledge I changed my life to such radical like levels. Like I changed almost like the core of me to the point where I felt like I was finally the person I always I saw that I could be, you know, the person I always wanted to be in my heart. So I was really, um I was actually blown away by the level of courage, kindness, tranquility, health, peace, I mean, everything. I just I finally felt like Epic, fully expressed, like, most awesomely expressed itself. And, um and then I was like, Wow, this is so good. I can't keep this to myself. So, you know, um, I was sharing it with friends and just starting to spread the message. My husband ended up using my methodology. And turns out, um had a lot of clients that wanted to use this. The whole plan was not even to develop like a business from it. Like I was fully set on just retiring and like counting seashells for the rest of my life.

[00:15:45] spk_1: You

[00:15:45] spk_0: know, that sounds like a nice life. But But then I realized I've got something really huge here, and I was also looking at kind of like the whole of humanity. Um, and how much people are in so much pain and people don't feel safe they just don't. And you know, I love that. That's a big part of what you talk about its safety. And, you know, it's a big part of the work that I dio because if you think about it, people will always say all the root of all evil is money or the root of all evil is greed. No, it's not those air, both wrong, the root of all evil in the world. I say that air quotes that you can't see revolt evil in the world is actually in security. It's people not feeling safe. I don't feel safe to be there, fully expressed Selves in the world and be accepted. They don't feel safe to get their needs met. If they want to do things their own way, they don't feel safe to keep their relationship that they express boundaries with others. They don't feel safe to, you know, go out there and make their financial ends meet on their own terms without, you know, cowering to the needs of what other people want. And you know, the lack of safety in people contributes to the breakdown of families to the breakdown of business to the breakdown of a lot of things. And when people don't feel safe, they don't make good decisions. They don't. They don't treat their families well. They feel like a loss of control, because control is one of the things that makes us feel safe. Um, and all of these things are exhibited in the home where you see domestic violence. You see alcoholism, you see drug abuse, you see theft, you see other crimes. And the thing is, when you take a look at a person that's doing those things and you stack them up against a person like myself who has actually mastered all of these six core habits, that person, of course, is capable of those awful things because they are so riddled with pain and so riddled with in security of all different kinds in Securities, Way more than just really don't like the lion luck. Insecurity is a deep like wound of not feeling safe or whole or complete right, and that person is going to be doing these things in any desperate bid they can to feel better, and to get that safety and security, then you take a look. It's someone that's actually done. The work on themselves. Like the work I've done on the work that I suggested. I'm trying to help other people do. And you'll you'll notice that someone like me I am incapable of doing those crimes against humans. Crimes against family crimes against other things. Because I am not. I don't have the tools inside of me. I don't have that rage inside of you don't have that crippling fear. I don't have this gaping maw of need, and I don't have this gigantic pit that is filled with insecurity. Therefore, I don't have the tools necessary to commit these heinous crimes against people ourselves and others saying

[00:18:35] spk_1: yes. Let me and make sure that I understand. So are you saying that this is something? Because how you would learn so you don't have this inside of you? Or is this something that was already kind of instilled to you as you were growing up?

[00:18:45] spk_0: No, no, no. Um, I Are you kidding me? I didn't have a better upbringing than anybody else, despite my parents best efforts. I mean, you know, like my parents, good people, really good people. Um but what happens is when you're a little kid, you go out in the world and you get to interact with other little kids who are the products of their parents. Crappy parenting and their parents, insecurities and their parents fears and their own terrible upbringing. Right? So what you end up having is a child's psyche very young, right? And no matter what Mom and dad say, which was the case for me, nothing will ever be louder than what the other kids say. The other kids, their voices air meaner, louder. And you know what? When you go out in the world and you're a little kid and you're like five or six years old, you want friends, and then when you don't get them, it really hurts, you know, and those things affect you. And I was abused in one of my first serious relationships. I was psychologically abused, physically abused, sexually abused. I was bullied in school, and I also have attention deficit disorder, which

[00:19:59] spk_1: got

[00:19:59] spk_0: to be honest with you, not fun. But you know, I've managed and like I've had to overcome quite a bit just to get to a normal level of functioning and then to get to a plates of hyper like hyper special, like really ultra functional state of being. That is where the extra work requires. I mean, like within the six habits, like the whole premise of everything that I try to put forth is that you don't need to be special or have these things baked into you. You can learn all of them. And as a matter of fact, we're were given a lot of these gifts when we're born but its other other kids, it's, you know, life that tells us not to do it. Like, for example, one of the habits is all about presence. Guess what? We live in a world. It's all about the almighty clock, you know? Oh, tell me about your resume. It's all about your past. What? Your plans for five years from now, that's the future. How about right now? Society and our culture has undone much of what we actually know how to do. And meanwhile, kids air actually like, really, really adept at being present. But we as adults and our culture breeds it out of them. So lot of the book is actually returning to your natural state of being, but things like intention, which is the sex habit you have to learn. Um, and these are the habits that build the most complete whole successful secure people. And when you are whole complete, successful and scare, you can build any dream you can possibly conceive off. You're not operating from state of lack.

[00:21:32] spk_1: So as you look at this and you describe the habits and you went through the book and you actually build the book out and I believe there's some coursework is well, that's available, Aziz, you look at this. Do you sit or do you sit back and Ugo at first when you're describing this to people? And this was something that you referenced earlier on that we suffer of imposture syndrome, So do you kind of lied to exempt where you tell them fake it until you make it as you're learning these concepts.

[00:21:59] spk_0: No, um, some of these things, like when it learned when it comes to accepting yourself, that really is kind of except, you know, telling truth in advance when you're like if you know anything about affirmations and things like that, a lot of times you have to say things to yourself that you don't fully believe just yet. Um and I say that's probably the only place where the fake it till you make it, um, thought process would probably apply. Um, I see what you're saying, though. But that, like, the thing about all of this work is it's the opposite of what I did for 20 years, right? What I did for 20 years was fake it, right? I faked it. I constantly tried to show the world that I was much more successful than I truly felt inside. As a result, I got lots of accolades. Got lots of awards, have been on all kinds of awesome TV, has been on Fox News. I've done this and done that. I mean, you know, because I just needed to accumulate all these external success indicators. So then I would earn other people's approval. When you start to trunk, like, actually earn your own, that's a game changer. And you know, if anything, you might need to give yourself a little boost, you know, just to kind of help you along. But for the most part, you're gonna be in high integrity, this whole journey and the thing that I liked about it, I mean when I was discovering all these six habits and discovering what habit is and how they're formed and how humans actually function in terms of habits psychologically and scientifically. Um, it was, like, really clear to me. Oh, my God. My stubborn self can actually do this lowered. I was, like, so excited because I m actually the most stubborn person on the planet. Um, and I just like, you know, I'm an entrepreneur. I see a problem. I want a solution. I also want it now, you know, if you know disc styles im a classic d Give me the answer now, bottom line. Don't care about the details. Just give it to me. Um,

[00:23:47] spk_1: you're gonna run and resolve the problem right there. So when you get back now and you look at both of these different way different scenarios because you have a very successful advertising agency is how our marketing agency and then you look at what you've done, What, six habits? What one are you more proud of?

[00:24:05] spk_0: I well, one changes my life in the life of the clients, and, um and I'm very proud of that because I'm getting to directly affect the families of the small business owners that we serve and making sure their kids get to go to college, and that feels pretty epic. But then, with the six habits, I feel like I have something that has the capacity to actually change humanity and reshape how families exist in the world globally. So I can't say it's a question of which one I am more proud of, but

[00:24:38] spk_1: which, which was your favorite kid. That's kind of like that.

[00:24:40] spk_0: I think they're very different things. I'm very, very proud of both of them. And ah, because they're both very successful in there. Unique objectives.

[00:24:56] spk_1: So at what point? After you do the six habits and you already have the marketing agency, does the Ted X speech come about?

[00:25:06] spk_0: I m So here's the truth. Um, Pastor single never actually goes away. I still face it sometimes, and it still shows up, taps me on the shoulder. But I am now a ninja, and I automatically punch that right in the face by Go away. Um, So when I, uh, started doing this, I realized the potential off what I could actually do for humanity, and I was like Mm. You know, I've always loved Ted talks. I'd love to give one. I wonder if I should apply. I did not feel ready. I felt like an imposter, right. But I was like, you know what? That feeling of being an impostor, It's just a feeling that's not fact. So I know I have something here that I'm not gonna let myself stand in my way. So I'm gonna apply. I applied to one. They said no. I applied to another one. They said yes. I found out when I was at Starbucks, I scared the nice people that were sitting there quietly enjoying the coffee next to me because I started shrieking like a five year old brand new puppy. Um, e have it on video. That was fun. Um, so, you know, being invited to do that, it's It's so awesome. And I would have done it April 11th. Um, 2020. Except Cove. It happened. And then, um, we've had to move it out. It's also being held at a school in schools are still in a state of like lunar new. So in all likelihood, it's gonna be in the spring next year. There's a chance it will be November this year. I highly doubt it. Um, but, I mean, they're really, really anxious to reschedule it. I am super excited to share this message with the world. I mean, selfishly, I love Teoh. Um, push this out there sooner, but I would rather do it in a time in space when the world can hear it. Which means it may actually have to wait until the spring.

[00:26:59] spk_1: So curiosity question. We have to come back to the mainly and to do it or can you get to do it right there in Oy, I

[00:27:04] spk_0: don't want to do it here. It's in Boston, and I really, really want to come to Boston to do it. Um, I love being on stage. I love talking to a room. It is one of the most awesome experience, as if you like public speaking. That sounds like a dream to you. If you don't like it, it sounds like you know, an invitation to your own funeral. Um, I love public speaking. So to me, it's like, Oh, my God, it's like the ultimate, um, privileged to be able to share my idea, my research, my one big idea with others and hopefully have it reached millions and hopefully a 1,000,000,000 people, which would be amazing. Um, not only that, my family and most of the people I love are in Massachusetts, and I'll just give me a nice, tidy little excuse to be like, Oh darn, I have to come see you

[00:27:52] spk_1: in The other funny thing is that if you look at it, there's so much information you have to pack in, depending on how it's set up is normally there 15 minutes worth of content. Just put so much information inside of there? Sure, I said. It's like pressure on for sure. Now I have had some warns that have done it, and they've told me that it takes Jeff actually practice it nine times Now. I don't know if I'm giving away trade secrets here on before you come before you go on there. Now, as you look at this, when I look up the information about the book, it says it's not. It's more than a book. It's a lifestyle,

[00:28:26] spk_0: and

[00:28:26] spk_1: you say when you say that, how do you How do you expect your your core audience to look at that and start really adapting and changing their lifestyle. Based on this book, like you know, how there was that movement and I'm gonna use is an example of the book, the secret on how people started changing their life because of that book. And they're, you know, thinking positive. How does it work? What portion in this journey of the book, do you tell them? Hey, this is where you need to start changing the way that you're thinking about things.

[00:28:54] spk_0: Um, honestly, in the very beginning, the thing is, I make no bones about it. I don't apologize for what it is because the thing is, when you do these things as a habit, it is your lifestyle. Like, you know, Are you a person that Flosses or not like I mean, that's kind of it. Like in a nutshell. I mean, like, you are a person either lives in alignment with these habits or you're not, and therefore it's it's it's a lifestyle. And, um, I it's interesting. The fellow that sold my house for me in Massachusetts. He gave me some of the most powerful feedback the other day. He sent me an email and he's like I'm so grateful to you in your book because of you. Um, I'm more successful. I've never been happier. I've never been more peaceful. I've never spent more joyful time with my Children and my wife. And I am, like, just forever grateful to you. And I'm like, See, that's the dude where the lights are on and he gets it because, you know, ultimately it might be the crappiest business model in the world, but I'm fine with that. My goal is to educate people to get them so good at these habits, habits or things we don't think about. So you don't think about them anymore. You just live the lifestyle. You live the lifestyle where you are filled with love, self love and your you know, you're looking around your life with appreciation. Things manifest you like crazy. I mean, you know, there's a lot to be said for that stuff that's in the secret. You know, you can manifest things, but if you're not in a good headspace, you're gonna manifest more of that, you know? And, um, you know, it's entrepreneurs do really well with us. Um, regular joes do really well with this. Even really stubborn. People do really well with this. Um and I know because I am one and I'm married to him. And But you get my husband to do it, I can get anybody to do it.

[00:30:43] spk_1: So what particular portion? Once you start doing the research and you started going over everything, did it really click for you that you said? Ah ha. I have it. Are we talking months? Are we talking weeks? Are we talking years? What are we talking about here?

[00:30:55] spk_0: Once I am

[00:30:56] spk_1: talking about for you personally before you decided Tiu start spreading the message to the

[00:30:59] spk_0: Russian. Yeah, totally. When I was actually in the throes of doing the research, I was like, Damn, I'm really on to something here. I wonder if this is why none of the courses and events and stuff have a really worked for me because I feel like I've stumbled upon, like, the missing pieces. Um, so I was like, huh? Right. And then, as it was all starting to come together with my research, you know, so too, are the epiphanies of like, Oh, damn, this is really something. So, you know, I actually like in truth. I was doing all my research, and then, um, I wanted to wait a little bit before I began doing this 90 day stuff to, like, actually shift How, um, how I exist and live my own life. In my research, I had come across an interesting scientific information that says that, you know, the people that are talking about Oh, you can build a habit in 21 days. You can do it in 30 days. No, those air marketers scientists, um, and I say this is the CEO of marketing company. Um, the science says that humans develop new habits in 66 days. And because, as mentioned previously, I am a stubborn human. I want to build a 90 day program, Something that was like, Laura proof, basically, um, cells like. All right, You know what? I'm just gonna hedge my bets, and I know I'm gonna mess up a little bit, so I'm just gonna call it 90 just around up and make sure I succeed. So, um, I was actually about five days in five when I started realizing Oh, my God. I feel so different. While, um, I felt good right away, but that's always I mean, you could feel that way with placebo. Really? Just like a sugar pill. Um, but like day five, I was like, Damn, this is sick. This is not placebo. This is genuinely good. And then I started doing things differently. Like, I repaired a friendship with someone that hadn't spoken to in, like, three years because I just got the courage to have the conversation and say the things that needed to be said And, you know, it was like Day 38 that my husband, I decided to move to Maui, and that was a really, really, really big deal for me and your e. I've never lived far away from my family. He has, but I never did. So, um I mean, I had a huge spiritually breakthrough. I had, like, basically a lot of things that I really needed to do to up level myself as a human. Um, I experienced all within probably the first, like, 60 days of the program. And it was just like it was like, mind blowing, just to realise. And like when the 90 days was over, I was like, Oh, my God, like I feel whole Finally, I don't feel like I need other people's approval. I don't feel like I'm just looking at life like the glass is half full like No, my glass runneth over like my life is extraordinary. This is so good, and I can literally do anything. I mean, I felt like I was on the most epic drug of all time and, um, I just I really wanted to share it. So like it never started out as something to share or a business to build or a book to write it literally came from. I need to feel better and and, like, Seriously, Day Five is when it was like Oh my God And then it just kept compounding from there.

[00:34:12] spk_1: So I want you to think about something real quick. I want you to think about some of the people that might be out there taking a listen and saying, OK, I've heard of other programs. How would I know that this one's going toe work for me? Let's talk about some people that might be on the edge. What would be the portion that you would tell them on what they need to do to be able Teoh. You know, learn about the six habits. How would you? I'm not gonna say convince them because I'm not asking for convince A convincing speech. I'm asking. What can you tell them on how this convention fit them for them to truly understand it?

[00:34:39] spk_0: Absolutely. It's a great question. Thank you for that. Um, well, a couple things. One I don't care what You really don't care what you dio knowing something is useless unless you actually apply it. So that's gonna be the first thing. So if you're if you're just looking a read a book and then boom, you're going to be different. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your money. Um, you know, like, the thing that I found when I was doing my research was actually in big response to one of my most pivotal questions. Which waas How is it that I have read all these books done all these programs gone to all these coaching events? Been to retreats? I've done seminars like sat on meditation pillows with, like, master yogis and blah, blah, blah. Why is it that I still felt like crap after that? Um, that was the thing that was passing me off the most, and I really needed to answer. So I got to the root of all of it. Um, and I built the thing for me that would make it so I didn't need that other stuff would actually fix all those other programs. It's not marketing, It just works. It's not. I mean, I practice what I preach like I'm terrible of social media. You can see that I'm doing terrible job selling myself. But I do like my guest. I think doing

[00:35:49] spk_1: a great job to be quite our city. But that's my opinion.

[00:35:51] spk_0: That's cool. I'm gonna take Linda. Thank you so much. Um, you know, the thing is, it's, um it's so easy for us to doubt what we hear anymore because we live in a world where relied, too, every single day, you know, were lied to about the skin cream that supposedly gonna take 20 years off our face. Yeah, okay. Relied too, about new political things. Yeah, okay. Were lied to about, um, business promises like skin cream promises, cereal promises, it sells healthy on the box. And it's anything but. It's like toxic, like, terrible stuff that's gonna clog your arteries. So, like nobody believes anything anymore. And frankly, you shouldn't. Um, But here's the thing. My book is the beginning of the journey, right? There's there's four critical parts to this that anyone can dio. So Number one there is the book itself, which is really cheap, and it's a great way to actually see if it even resonates with you. Read the book. And if you're reading the book, you're like, Whoa, this sounds like me. And if it makes sense and it looks like a presenting a logical argument, then Part two is There's invitations in the book for you to go online and download loads of free material that I should be charging hundreds of dollars for. I'm charging nothing for it. They go with the book because I really desperately want people to have the knowledge and actually do the work. And if you do the work right and you're like, Oh my God, I can feel myself changing. I'm like seeing myself differently. Oh my God, because you will. If you actually show up and do the work, the next step would be the 90 day program that I originally built from me it is about building these habits into your life. Using specific, um, repetitious behaviors over 90 days help you to transform your life and you get support by me. And if you really want to go further and you want to go all in because you're a ninja like myself, um that's when I can get personally involved and actually work with people one on one.

[00:37:39] spk_1: Also, you do offer one on one coaching,

[00:37:41] spk_0: not a lot of it. It's only for the elite few that really, really wants the one on one attention because I am an ass kicker. I'm going to make it hurt. But I will get you there like you can't lie to yourself with me. You can't tell yourself only can't do this time. I'm gonna call you on it. We will get you through this like one of my biggest gifts in the world, which felt like a curse. Much points of my life is I have no problem. I'm actually really comfortable in the deep, dark and ugly places of life. You wanna go ugly? You wanna go deep? You want you want to talk about how your father like, beat you up as a kid. I got you. Let's do this. Let's unpack all that crap on. Let's get you to the meadow. Let's get you to the joy because you can't go around the suck. You gotta go through the suck and you need to have someone that is unflinching, unafraid and actually has the right tools and the right support systems to actually help you arrive on the other side. As a complete person, it doesn't mean you forget what happened to you or that you're like one of those deliriously happy people that, like no good vibes only, uh, no All vibes, air, riel, all vibes matter. And we need tools to deal with the negative vibe. So we can still be whole complete happy person. Um, throughout all of life, not just putting on, like, this plastic grin. That's not the point. And I think you know, I think you know your question. What would I say to people if you're looking for a pragmatic approach, someone that's not gonna be asked you someone that's not gonna try to sell you a line of crap about how great something is, But I'm gonna give you the unvarnished truth I'm probably going to be a great author for you and probably a good leader toward happiness. I am very cynical person. I'm very pragmatic. I did not write a fluffy book. I don't like fluffy books. I don't want to sit there and talk about meditation pillows. As much as I enjoy those things, I want practical strategies. I wanna have things that are proven to work. And this has a track record because I was so tired of years of stuff not working for me and thousands going down the drain. I was like, I'm done. OK, Expletive, expletive, expletive. I

[00:39:46] spk_1: don't say it, I'm fine with

[00:39:49] spk_0: sometimes. And that's the thing is if if anyone has ever felt that way and they're looking for a no B s approach, Teoh actually getting somewhere and not changing who you are to be one of those people with like, you know, the plastic happiness rial to your core happiness, where you're still who you are, that that is the person that I can help, probably the most.

[00:40:12] spk_1: But I will tell you, I have never heard of someone really taking that kind of honest approach. It's a lot of that of the B s. As you're saying in regards of Push this back kind of compartmentalize this bad idea that happened back in your life and then kind of move forward by just being happy.

[00:40:27] spk_0: Yeah, I I actually think that that's very harmful to people. And you know what? I I've been through a lot of therapy. I started as a teenager because my parents thought I was just this weird kid that didn't like their parents. That's odd. So we went to family therapy. But then I am going in my twenties, and I ended up liking it quite a bit. It's actually one of the resource. Is I mentioned in the book. Please, if you have, like, traumatic things and you need someone to clinically discuss this with you, seek out a therapist. I am not a therapist. So therapist helps you sort out the past. Someone like me helps you sort out the future, you know, and there's there's there's something that's really, like, pivotal about those two things. And, you know, I've read lots of books, you know that. You know, it's like how you know, you just need to speak it into existence. and it will be there. And you know, there's there's an element of truth to that. And I say that is one of the most cynical people on the planet. Um, you know, I've read all these books and, like, OK, I was also, you know, raised up until 12 with no religion. Then at 12 I got, like can involved into the deep end into Baptist Christian, um, upbringing. And I was baptized of my own volition when I was 14. Then I left the church like, Oh Lord, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like religion. I am spiritual and it's not necessarily like, you know we will fluffy stuff. I know where I stand and I know that there's more than me and a very respectful of other people's beliefs. I just don't have time to be lied to anymore. I don't lie to people. And to be honest with you, that's one of the reasons why my company is celebrating its 20th anniversary. Even though nobody's coming to the party, Um, it is because everything I do, it's with high integrity. You don't like what's coming out of my mouth, my mouth. It's because it's the truth. It's not because I've lied to someone. It's I've lost friends because of telling the truth. I've lost clients because of telling the truth. I'm fine with that.

[00:42:16] spk_1: Laura tell you really, really have to tell you. I really love the approach that you take to this. Most people will not take that approach. I think it's great. Now I have a question about the coaching aspect of it. Now do you do a phone call? Is it a video call? Is it Ah, Siris of emails? Or how does that normal that aspect normally work?

[00:42:32] spk_0: So when I'm working one on one with people and right now I am actually opening up two spots for coaching, it's It's kind of intense. It's designed to be over. Ah, year. Um, it's it's it's life transformations, basically 360 degree life mastery. So there's habit mastery. But once you master the habits, it's self mastery and then it is life mastery. And when I work with someone, it's for the life mastery, which is all three of those things. So you yes, you master the habits, but the goal is for you to not remember and think about or obsess on the habits, not the point. The point is to remember the match of them. Move on. Now let's master yourself. Then let's master your life and design it. Build it the way you envisioned when you were a kid or the way you envision when the kids have gone to bed, the things that you fantasize about when you're like wanting to punch your boss in the face like thes air the things that, like people don't have the courage, the pathway to actually put together. And honestly, during this covert stuff, people's ability to dream has been diminished more than I've ever seen. Dreams air dying, left and right. It's awful. And the thing that people need is number one the right tools Number two. Ah, pathway right, Three clarity, you know, And we need someone that's been there, done that that can actually help. And the thing about the habits, they're all in the book. You can do like a lot of this independently with the book. The free exercise is the 90 day program. I help people through that I helped him accelerate that process, but the self mastery is really examining all the other things that are perhaps not habitual but like ways you make decisions and little things and evaluating like how you're getting along with, you know, perhaps coworkers or your spouse or your Children, and defining your relationships the way you want to you. And then with the 363 life design, it's like, OK, you've got a dream. You have been solidly standing in your own way of having that dream for a long time. Let's talk about why. And let's talk about what life looks like now that you've become a master of these habits. Um, now you've got the tools to build it. Let's talk about a timeline. Let's talk about what are your specific action steps? What do you need to do today that gets you to your goal? What do you need to do to day to start that company? You've been dreaming off for 20 years but have never felt less like doing because the world is on fire and your motivation is exactly zero like, how do we get you to do it? How do we get you to, like, finally heal your marriage? How do we get you to get your kids to talk to you again. How do you you know, how do you dig up the stones toe like moved to an island? If that's your dream, it was my dream. Um, like, what is it that it's gonna take because it's it's It's nice to dream. It really is. But this this is just more of the practical stuff. You need a path. You need specific logical steps that happen in a sequential order. You need a big goal broken down into little tiny, actionable sequential steps in order to make things happen. Dreaming isn't enough wishing in enough. It's just it's nice to want things, But unless you're willing to actually do the work and specifically the right work, you won't have it. And that sucks, because we're like most of us are sitting on all these dreams that we've had and we're not living them. Oh, how it's going to be an entrepreneur. So I always wanted toe. You know, Goto. I don't know. In my case, Antarctica, I was gonna go. But then the world got weird. So, like, you know, it's the I always wanted to. Well, why don't you? Well, because because because when we break down that because Because Because and stop allowing the use to block you from the things you want. This is your one sovereign life. Live it. Get the hell out of your own way. Live it. So that's what I do with the help people. Live it now.

[00:46:14] spk_1: Laura, If our listeners want to get more information about you and six habits working, they go and find more info.

[00:46:19] spk_0: You can go to the six habits dot com th e s i x habits dot com. You can actually order an autographed copy of my book. It's free plus shipping. Um, and you can also learn more about working with me directly. You can learn more about the 90 day program there. If you buy the book, you'll you'll get all the invitations to all the free stuff that's actually noted within it. But, yeah, the six habits dot com is thes center of all of that, and you can even find out about the upcoming Ted talk. Well, I'd love to know about the Upton upcoming. When's it gonna be? E

[00:47:00] spk_1: can predict the future, although I appreciate you coming on to the show

[00:47:03] spk_0: truly a pleasure. Thank you so much for your great questions and for this opportunity child about

[00:47:06] spk_1: this. Well, I hope you enjoyed our conversation here today with Laura Di Benedetto. For more information about her books, go to the six habits dot com. Thank you for always being the best part of safety FM, and that is the listener. Safety FM is the home of riel safety talk. I appreciate you committing your time week in and week out to what we have going on on our different podcast, our radio station, and are streaming services. This brings another episode of the J. Allen show to an end. We'll be back with another episode before too long. Goodbye for now, once more. The challenge,

[00:48:01] spk_0: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the host and its guest, and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the company. Examples of analysis discussed within with podcast are only example. It's not be utilized in the real world at the only solution available as they're based only on very limited undated Open source information. Assumptions made within this analysis or not reflective of the position of the company. No part of this podcast may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means mechanical, electronic recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the creator of the podcast, J. Allen.