There is something that happens to us when you and I agree we’re in relationship, something that flows from my eyes into your eyes and from your eyes into my eyes. It is a sacred acknowledgment of our mutual being. Nietzsche, who was obsessed with his own independence, named this thing that happens between us a debt that we owe to one another. In our acknowledgement, I owe you something and you owe me something.

The healthier, safer world we dream of prioritizes the sacred acknowledgement, the debt we owe one another. This doesn’t mean that people won’t come in and out of our lives, but when we lose someone we are invested in we are left with a hole, a void that cannot be filled because the relationship was not commodified. When we are invested in other people we are not replaceable.