“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.”

― Epictetus

Show Notes:

• Stoics believe that we can only control ourselves.
• But also believe that we are here to help others.
• As a Parent I’ve tried to be good about correcting there actions, but not make them feel like they’re a person because the make mistakes.
• I was often told I was bad person for my mistakes.
• My partner is great about giving constructive feedback
• Often out with friends I’d dominate the conversation. She’d ask me on the way home if I noticed glazed eyes and lack of conversation on their part.
• She’d help point out these things so that I could get the results I wanted, which was to have engaging and fun conversations with my friends
• Non-threatening, just matter of fact was really helpful, and helped me to trust the feedback
• When we think we need correct someone, the first thing we should do is we should ask if they want to hear opinion, if they want to change.
• Respect the wish if they say no.
• Second is have a dialog by asking questions, don’t preach.
• Last keep our own judgements out of the conversation, otherwise the person will probably get pretty defensive.
• Nobody likes to feel judged.
• Most people want to be their best.
• Learning how to give and take constructive nonjudgmental feedback is a great skill that we all can benefit from.