Unapologetically BOLD: I'm not sorry for....
Owning my path to success with Melba Amissi
February 12, 2021
"Who owns your path in life? Many people will say themselves; however, their actions instead reflect that they are being owned by things like culture, company, family, friends, past experience, etc. Owning your path can lead to major success in life and our guest Melba has the actions to show that owning your path is possible. Join us for this interesting and inspiring conversation.
Who owns your path in life? 

Many people will say themselves; however, their actions instead reflect that they are being owned by things like culture, company, family, friends, past experience, etc. 

Owning your path can lead to major success in life and our guest Melba has the actions to show that owning your path is possible. 

Join us for this interesting and inspiring conversation. 

About the guest: Melba is a results-oriented executive with 20+ years’ experience in corporate strategy, risk management, revenue growth, and cost reduction, as well as change management. She is known for analytical problem-solving, formulating strategic action plans, and resolving complex situations. She currently is an MBA Candidate focused on Business Administration and Management, General from Georgetown University, Certified International Privacy Professional, and Certified Business Resilience Manager.

[00:00:02] spk_0: this is This show is brought to

[00:00:05] spk_1: you by Safety FM. Welcome to unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If you are a person that is tired of apologizing for being you you know the human part of you that sometimes feels like it has to be different at home versus work versus play. The human side that just wants to be hot, humble, open and transparent about your wants, desires and uniqueness. If you answered yes, this is for you. Join me, Emily Elrod as I dive into conversations with Amazing Guest. About what? That you're not sorry for and creative and loving ways Let's get started. I am so blessed today tohave Melville with me. Thank you so much for joining May.

[00:00:55] spk_0: I'm so excited. Thank you so much for welcoming me and having me with the podcast today.

[00:01:00] spk_1: So people don't know who will. You are such an amazing woman. Like the first time I met you. I'm like she speaks to my heart. And so I just want before we get started, just tell people who you are in a little bit about yourself.

[00:01:16] spk_0: Well, I'm currently the chief operating officer of a company called Habits. at work based out of Chicago. I myself e live in both Virginia and Florida, part time between the two. I've been married for 14 years. I have an amazing husband. I feel very blessed in my life to have him. Not only is my husband is my best friend, and I have This is my very first podcast, which was amazed and excited to be here with Emily today to do this. And I'm really looking forward to like diving into this. I spend much of my time day to day, managing operations for the company as we start to scale and with a nice braid to share with your viewers, I guess part of my story

[00:01:59] spk_1: e love it. And if you all have not checked out habits at work, you need to There is amazing people that work there like Andrew Sachs. I know that breeze there is well and a few other just a top notch amazing people that will. They know human sites and they also know human connection and care. So that is one thing I will plug a major shoutout s. So let's just go ahead and hop on into ITM Elba. So this podcast is called unapologetically bold. So with that, I would love to know what you are not sorry for.

[00:02:41] spk_0: I'm not sorry for owning the path to my success. And one thing I wanna make sure that I say today is success. How we define it is very much a personal thing. And for me, I know that it changed throughout my life. Success in my twenties looks completely different to May than success today. Um and I feel blessed each time, as I think, through how I arrived and each point where I thought was the pinnacle of my career or a pinnacle in my personal life, that was like, Oh, I've made it This this is success for me And then how many times I realized I'm reevaluating it and I'm determining what this next path is gonna look like. Thanks.

[00:03:21] spk_1: And I love that. I think it's so important to for people to realize that success changes and there's somebody definitions. So for me, I feel like my success in my twenties was very vain, per se comparative to my success in my thirties. It is now more about purpose, passion, connection with people. So when did you realize that it was important for success, and and also, how has your definition maybe fluctuated and changed?

[00:03:57] spk_0: Oh, in my twenties, it was all about what ends up in my bank account. Uh, that was like I've made it. I've achieved it. Look, look at the salary I'm making. And I think every time I achieve something, I never sat in it to enjoy it and say, Oh, I've I've accomplished something I worked for. I was already searching for the next thing. And then I moved into my thirties and I was like, Now I want to have a presence. Now I want to make an impact. I wanna I wanna have a position that allows me to me, uh, changes in the company and really come out there and lead people, um, be able to drive the business forward. It was less personal. It was more like how it impact this whole work environment. Mid thirties. It was interesting to me. Is the personal part of my life started to come in to be how I measured my success. We're making personal connections. How is the contributing to people's lives that I loved? How was I actually developing relationships where we were mutually benefit each other in our lives. And at this point in my forties, my success is based on how much time I really can spend with my family in a tribute to what our life will be like in the long run, Um, really realized that what I'm doing at work, how has it been a benefiting both the environment that I'm in day to day and then a long time would be able to achieved for not only inhabited work but for people who interact with different work. Mhm,

[00:05:18] spk_1: because you can't avoid habits at work on has been created over time, too. And I think that's important. Part of the success story to is addressing habits. So when did you start? Because I know your habit for success. It didn't happen overnight, and that's one thing that drives me insane is when people like they don't see your work up. They only see your top success. They see you at the top of the mountain. And so when did you realize that success was a habit and something that you had to own it due to create that path? Ford

[00:05:59] spk_0: very good question, and I'm very transparent. And it was the failures. It was the failures. It was the times that you think it's coming so easy, not realizing the effort that you're putting into it. And the moment that you fail, you take that opportunity to learn, like what was different this time. Why didn't achieve success. And I just remember thinking, um, one of my biggest stories I could probably say is I worked in a department and I was the only I don't know, probably the only female in the department at the time. And I remember thinking, Wow, you know, we're all working together. We're having this great opportunity with driving, and I had an opportunity to actually see our paychecks, and I realized I would need $20,000 less than someone who had the exact same position and have been in the company maybe maybe six months more than I had. And we have the same credentials and I remember thinking, Wow, what did I do? What did I do wrong? What did I do differently? And it wasn't that I did something wrong, but it was a failure of me. Thio, take that and looking at that as though I was doing something wrong. Instead, I said to myself, This is an opportunity for me to learn and not focus on Oh, I must not be worthy because someone's not paying me the same amount killing. I took that and said, I'm going to do even better and I stayed within the company moved to a different department. Onda continue to excel. But I was very honest with myself about being upfront, asking for where I wanted acknowledging that many gifts to give, um, and not focusing my worth on that salary on Lee. But what I have to find is my own success. And I think another part which I tell everybody, is so many times. Often when you're going and pushing yourself every day to be your best, you you're taking up space that you're on this earth to do. I mean, you're on this earth to take up space. Always try to make sure that people some days it's really hard to get up in the morning. You have failures. You break down like I can't do this again. But I really wake up every day trying to show this my best self, not only for myself, but people who really look up to you with an organization and see how far we've gone and can see the work that you put in.

[00:08:13] spk_1: The thing that I hear from that, that just like strikes in my heart and the reason like first time we talked. I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is my person is because you could have taken that from you could have been bitter about it There there's this. It's a rap song. It says I'm going from better to better and I'm working on switching those letters. You know, that is not a very easy principle to do, and in that you're not playing victim because that's where I see a lot of times, whenever you own your path to success, people see failure as a a pitfall. Its's a hole they can climb into, and they can stay in. But if you own it and you're have the ability to forgive the situation to move on to be better than it, it doesn't mean it's not eat or it's not easy. So I want to talk about that for a minute. How much did you or I guess. When did you start learning that you have the power toe own yourself and your path? Ford?

[00:09:20] spk_0: When I was offered the first executive role in my company, I questioned whether or not I was worthy for it. Almost like an imposter syndrome, Not even almost like I question it, because I had not yet got my masters. Um, although I had done very well within the company, I looked at all the people who were in the same title around me and literally went and looked at their bios, compared my bio to their bio when I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this job. Some of these people have 10 years more experience, an idea they have their master's degrees. I just my experiences in this company. And I went Teoh the CEO at the time and asked him like shooting any executive training on you like an executive coach. And he's like, No, you don't even know that you need like a psychiatrist. So you can like more on that. You're really good. And I just need you to come in and do what you do every day, and you're gonna grow approval and you're gonna get even better. And that was enlightening for me because I realized that it took the confidence in me to say, Okay, I'm gonna do this, actually, might feel like this, but someone has acknowledged that all this work you've told yourself, You put it all over these years, and now you want to question it, Community, Someone's handing you something.

[00:10:34] spk_1: Oh, that is so good in the aspect that I feel like a lot of people struggle with that. And I'm gonna because I'm a female. I wanna talk from the female perspective. I find myself to typically be the only female in the room and usually the youngest person in the room. And I have to go get a pep talk from one of my mentors to say you deserve to be in that room like you. You worked your butt off like you have the results. You have the background like it's not if you if you can back it up, it's not. You're not being boastful or anything, but it's still hard. So and I think it's again that imposter syndrome, too. So talk about that for a minute on how Did you get over that or did you or is there still times when you're like, Oh, shoot.

[00:11:25] spk_0: Um, I actually got over it by putting in the work again. New role, new story of success. And you have It's almost like you're proven factor to yourself. You like I've done this. I've done this. I haven't done this job. But I have had the skills, the habits, the determination, the discipline, um, to go in and with the best of this, like, I know what I need to dio I may have things tomorrow and you always have things to learn. But I know the effort that it's gonna take to get here. I'm willing to put that in. Um And then also there's those areas. If you do feel like something your insufficient, do something about it like so I'm in the middle of getting my masters right now. I needed to do something about it. So it stopped being something that says, Are you really ready for that?

[00:12:14] spk_1: And I think that's important, too. Is knowing you and knowing your strengths and your weaknesses, But again, it's it's for you. Toe own your path. You have to own yourself first and understanding who you are. And I think the quicker you can realize that the quicker you can go up the ladder of success per se and owning the next step instead of Sometimes I feel like we can self sabotage ourselves so that we don't get to the next level. Um, have you had an experience of that or is that just may?

[00:12:53] spk_0: Okay, think about self sabotage. I think self sabotage for me would be times when I'm so confident that what I'm doing this working in the right thing that didn't allow myself to take a step back receive the gift of feedback from people like how I could do this better, what I could do differently. What, what I did. Well, um, and reassess how my approaches to things I think myself. I probably come into some some new areas like a bull e need a full e mean I think I could come and quite differently, and I think many of the times where I need the largest mishaps was not acknowledging the need to build relationships, not willing power, because that seemed to be very confident and bold and try to show up because I think, Oh, that's That's how you need struck when you're like an executive. And so I learned to be vulnerable in front of people that I work with. I learned to read an environment and understand how their cultural works. And I learned that it's really important to establish very good relationships with people that you engage with on a daily basis, because every once a while you're gonna lean in one way and then sometimes I need them to lead into U

[00:14:03] spk_1: E. I think that's important. And I'm from the people. I know that our habits at work, that's a culture that has been designed in there and how much being that you have been in different roles in different companies, not saying that one is better than others, but having the ability to show up and be yourself and be vulnerable. And as I know BRI, she'll dress up in something like finding crazy one day, you know, like but getting to come and bring yourself and be okay with it. How does that make an impact?

[00:14:36] spk_0: Uh, it makes quite an impact, if you ask, will probably tell you I don't show up as myself as much as they do Like Kariuki. I'm not carrying a key person. Uh, it has had an impact on me. I've had to really temper of always been a very structured environment, very hierarchal. And I'm trying to balance that with As we build structures, we begin to scale and grow with allowing us to really be that culture where were fun and transparent or greater cheering, feedback what you did well, what you could do differently and live by the things that we go out and tell people that really drives success and businesses like empathic listening and having really great conversations with people. So you get to know them.

[00:15:18] spk_1: Oh yes, and trying over here said. Some people don't know how to receive constructive criticism, and I think that's important to know on your path to success. You will never get there if you don't have that. Because for many, if I did not have the people that came and said, Whoa, Emily, your energy is too high for this situation that you need to slow it down, calm it down that I wouldn't be able to listen or be able to like how you have, the bull might come in as a bull. I come in as a firecracker, and that's what everybody says. It's a cold. You have so much energy and I'm like, I'm trying y'all. It's natural, but it's still a thing that understanding the people around you and the importance of self awareness, which is one. And then I think the other two is the fear of influence. So the people that you are around, too. So let's talk about self awareness. Is there a timer story that you've had? Where you're like, you understand that owning yourself is so important?

[00:16:25] spk_0: I would say, in most cases, if I don't own myself and show up as myself, I don't think I'm being authentic. It took a lot of courage for me to be comfortable being my authentic self. And being authentic doesn't mean you get just get to show up and be, um, only aggressive or be obnoxious or offend someone. It just means when I show up, what you kind of see is what you get. I'm fine share. In my opinion, I don't feel like it has to be like offensive. I am comfortable taking constructive criticism because I do believe a lot of us have blind spots and constructive criticism or feedback, which is a gift, is delivered with empathy. Um, it is really great when you can deliver it when you already have a trusting relationship with someone, and that really helps it land a little bit better.

[00:17:14] spk_1: E. I think that's to that psychological safety and having the ability to come in and have those conversations. And this is something I do with my team. And I asked them and I challenge them. Am I allowing you to fail? Am I allowing myself to fail because I am human? I am going to screw up. There's no ifs, ands or but I am going to fail you. I can't avoid it because I'm not perfect and I don't wanna be. I wanna be progressive, but I do not want to be perfect. And so I think that's very important to toe adding those failures and adding that part where that criticism can be come in. But also it's the other thing is that severe influence and knowing each other strengths, their weaknesses, where to go, who to go to when to go to and how to say things. So for you, how has the people you've been around impacted your success?

[00:18:08] spk_0: For one, of course, you learn a lot from the people that you've been around a Toho. My have a very supportive environment, which is really contribute to my success. I truly believe that once I got married was when I sell the most, because I felt like things were stable there. And I think of all the people who gave me advice for comfortable and giving me insuring with me ways I did well and do differently to really keep myself moving forward or really improve my game. Um, when you own your path to success, you want to reach out. And like you said, bring in that sphere of influence people who really there when you need them. People have re skill sets. Um, don't be afraid to talk to somebody when you think I'm failing. I don't know how to do this. Please help me. I still do it to this day. I'm so we'll have a network of people that can reach out to and say, Hey, have you ever done this before? I really need help doing that and then at the same time knowing and getting comfortable like I can do this. I have this. Even if I make a mistake, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna move forward. And the one great thing about making a mistake is at least you know what not to do. The next one.

[00:19:17] spk_1: Yes, and that's the thing. If you're self aware for it because there's too many people that go to that. I call the insanity curse name thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you don't same thing in your life and you keep popping up to the same problem, there's your sign. There is your side. So I love this discussion, and it is so needed more than ever, because I think right now is a powerful moment for people and understanding Cove. It for me, I believe, has kicked so many people out of doors that they never would have got out unless Cove it happened. So I see some of the blessings from it. Yes, there's many. There's many sad things that come from it, but for May I choose to see that because there are people that should have left their companies years ago. Or there's times where people should have been put first years ago. And now it's kind of coming to the forefront. So in your failure or last time that you've had one of these situations where it's like doom and gloom and you feel like your path of success is just like downhill slide, you can't even climb up If you wanted to. Yeah. What? What did you do to be able get back up Thio to go to the next level? I

[00:20:48] spk_0: had the human reaction first, of course, which is like you said complete breakdown. Like what am I gonna dio? How am I gonna fix this? I'm not. No one's gonna No one really wants me. I'm not good all the time. I thought that I wasn't. And then you start to take it. You start taking inventory of yourself. And not is one of the first things I always go back and dio between me growth to start to do that. But whenever I fall down, I take an inventory of who I am. I reassess. What does my life look like today? Do It wasn't really a failure. Or was that an opportunity. And if it was a failure, what do I want to correct? Do I wanna? And I do think for me it's very important that when I do fail to sit in that for a minute, so I can feel like and go. This is not really fun. And then I got inventory and I'm very like I'm a planner on going with my game. Plan of home wouldn't go through the next half of execution knowing would identify it is where I wanna be next.

[00:21:52] spk_1: Oh, I love that. And I would say for me I'm a process purpose and so I may not do step by step, but I want to review those past steps that I've done and learn from them. And here's the other thing that I do want Thio Note. Because I know we're getting close to the end of our time is success is not an appeal like trajectory. It doesn't happen like that. It is like you go up. It's like shark infested water. You go down, you have to like, swim through that to get it's like survivor of like the game show is all I could think of a lot of times with success, and it is not instantaneous either. What has been your thoughts about success or what were those things that came to your mind after reviewing it and reflecting about success that maybe your 20 year old self thought it was a different way?

[00:22:50] spk_0: Wolf, I would probably say what I've learned about success is it's not a given, just like you said, it's not. And it's almost like you take off in a plane and your what you call you to tell you Put your seatbelt on. You get to 10,000 ft and you're cruising your success flights. Elson. There's turbulence and you're like, What the heck? I thought we're gonna have a smooth flight. Hey, you make like an emergency landing and then you're like, um, I don't get back on the plane again. You're going to get back on a plane again because you have somewhere to go. Uh, what about successes? Enjoy it when you're they're not saying that it won't always sustained, but there will be bumps in the road, and how you get past them is actually part of your success and owning it, because the way you achieve getting over those bumps. It's gonna be different than for everyone but getting past it and moving on to the next success. Actually, if someone looked at you where you were before, your next level of success to them may be here from their point of view, because you were here and now you're here. But to you it may be amazing because you're much happier, calmer in a place you want to be. So that's your success.

[00:23:59] spk_1: And I think that's so important to note is, whenever you can stop caring, you care for people. But you don't care for their opinions. What I always say is I put it to sports analogy. You wouldn't have a referee calling the game from the top row like you went from the nosebleed section. You have them calling it on the field because they have the experience. They have the ability to be with you to be able to say, Whoa, stop whatever's happening there, then not to call it, throw a flag and to stop you. So be very, very careful on your path to success who you care, who cares about your success? If that makes any sense, eso what a my lead up to One of my final questions is people are apologizing for owning their path to success. What would you tell them?

[00:24:58] spk_0: Well, I would look at it unless, as if you're apologizing at that point, take inventory because it's really where you wanna be successfully. Is this the path you want to take other things in your path? Don't ethically sit well with you. Is it really is You're doing it because you think other people this is what they perceive a success. Um, but that's when you realize that you may just not be right in a place that you're dealing success and there may be an opportunity for you to look and see. Is this really success for me or am I just defined it based on what society thinks that should be doing

[00:25:32] spk_1: That's so good does that makes me think I'd rather be at the bottom of the letter. I want to climb than at the top of the one. I don't Yeah, and it is not such a true statement, though it is a hard fall and not just basically emotionally and ego wise. It's like Mm, yeah, but I don't know many people that have went up and down. That has really not learned from that. I guess that would say somebody that has been at the top, there's always another. There's always another mountain to climb. There's always for those people that perceived success is something that's theirs. And so that that's been ah kee one that I have found. So for anybody that is listening in on this and wants to connect with you and wants to learn, Hey, where can I reach out to learn more about you or learn more about habits at work? Where can they find you at

[00:26:32] spk_0: definitely habits at work dot com, but also linked in and they're under Melvin means they don't think there's too many Melva and NBC along. It's very weak. You can find me and I'm connected. The habits at work.

[00:26:44] spk_1: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. You are such a blessing. Everybody go check her out. Go like her on LinkedIn Go follower whatever. Like share all those things as my son. So it's gonna smash that subscribe button, your nine. Okay, here. But all that to say is I am blessed beyond measure to know you. And I cannot wait to see the work that continues to grow out of what you're doing. But also from the heart that you have For people, the passionate is it's amazing. And I'm blessed to know you and bless for everybody that joined in. So thank you.

[00:27:19] spk_0: Thank you. Everybody for listening was great. Thank you so much, Emily, for having me on today. I really appreciate it.

[00:27:24] spk_1: You're welcome, everybody. Next time. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If this touch shoot anyway, please like and subscribe and share with your friends as we continue the message of being unapologetically bold, Bobby and hot humans who are humble, open and transparent. See you next time.