Today on The Jay Allen Show, Jay speaks with Joshua Caudill and Kayla Caudill. They are the owners of Safety Leadership Innovators (SLI). During the interview, they discuss the difficulty of being married to safety and how they made it all work after years of struggling.

We also discuss their new show "Married To Safety," coming to the Safety FM Network. Hear it all today on The Jay Allen Show!

[00:00:02] spk_0: this is visited. This show is brought to you by Safety FM. Well, hello and welcome to another glorious edition of the J. Allen show. I hope all is well and great with you as we get closer and closer to Christmas day as we are in through the holiday season of the strange land of ours known as 2020. Anyways, I have to tell you, I'm pretty excited about what we have going on here today. I've known about this for quite some time, but I have not been able to share the information with you. So let's go through it today. Today I actually have the great opportunity of speaking to Joshua and Kayla Cartel. They are co owners of safety leadership innovators on I get the opportunity to speak with them today. Now, let me tell you what I've known for some time, but I have not been able to discuss. They are actually about to start their own show on safety FM. The subject matter married to safety. And that's where we have our conversation today. Talking about this all important subject and how the whole thing started from how they got into safety. How they decided to move forward with this. Now, let me tell you real quick, this one was actually recorded in person using our mobile equipment. So I just kinda wanna let you know that ahead of time before we get started. So I hope you enjoy the conversation today with Kayla and Joshua Cow Del on the J. Allen. Joe. Well, maybe Maybe that's where we start. Maybe we start off with what caused this whole mess of you guys wanting to be involved in safety. We could take it one step at a time and then go from there. Mhm. What caused it? Well, you mean with the podcaster? Just let let's go. Let's let's we can get into the podcast in a moment because I want definitely the audience to get to know you a little bit better, But the understanding here needs to be. Why did you get involved in the world of safety? Because most

[00:02:16] spk_2: of the

[00:02:16] spk_0: times this end of being a curse for some, not a guilt for others, or it happened by accident. So what was the cause for you to to get into it. So for me, that cause was accidental and like I think I've talked to you about this before. Is 1997 way did not speak in 1997 when you spoke in terms of 1997. So, um, I was working on a dock, a logistic center for writer integrated logistics, and BellSouth was our client. And at this facility, we took everything from change change from the from the pay phones, which was crazy, like they've come these huge boxes. Now, you might need to describe payphones for some of those people are pay phones One of those things before you. You have your iPhone. You actually had to put money into a phone to be able thio make a call, which is awesome. But there's a way around that because if you if you press zero and you tell him that drop your call, you don't have any more money, they'll connect you. So that's just a life hack for too late now. E o pizza, too. So anyway, so I'm sitting at the dock and where I was working, I was the youngest person by far. And so it was not a traditional job for a college student, and I was a very nontraditional college student. So sitting there, we see the supervisor from the upstairs office leave, and you always know when he leaves the office, he's coming down. So you have to straighten up and actually start doing what you're supposed to be doing. And the only thing he asked is who could turn on a computer? And I said, Mm, I can and everybody pointed to me because I was in college and he said, You're our safety manager and that's literally how I got into safety. So zero training, zero anything. And then two weeks later, I was in Norcross, Georgia, investigating my first fatality with no background, no training, nothing, nothing. Taking all these measurements, I had no clue what I was doing. But hold on. How do you go from collecting change inside of pay phones? So all of a sudden being the safety manager, I mean, is there a lot of death inside of collecting change from Well, it was the logistics way were loading all the trucks for all the BellSouth field offices, so we had to service all those field offices. So I'm talking about everything from line cable thio, the components of of all their infrastructure. So we delivered that to all the centers, and we did it at really odd times. So being very, very poor in college, I was able Thio pick up another shift. So I would work my traditional shift and then drive a truck a tonight when somebody would call in sick so I would be ableto do all that stuff. So getting into safety was definitely by accident. Was not a passion at all. Eyes it now it is now, but it's again. It's It's a different kind of passion. So I think some people get into safety because they perceive it is easier. Um, they perceive it is I'm not having a whole lot of accountability. And I like it because you get to make a difference in your own unique way. So it's not that cliche. I'm here to make a difference. I'm here to make a difference in my own way. Okay, Well, how about you?

[00:05:19] spk_1: I'm married. Safety

[00:05:21] spk_0: E. I guess this is a portion of the titling of the podcast, but we'll get into that section. So you got into safety because of Josh. How is that what you're telling me

[00:05:31] spk_1: Yeah. I mean, I've always just been kind of his supporter, I think, and never really directly involved. But, um, I was a flight attendant so clearly lots of safety involved there. And I think with that, I was able to share some of the things and some of the ways that the airlines work very, very different from anything that you see in the construction world, any of that. It's just has to be so perfect and so right on in the airline industry. So I was able to share that with him, I think, and we just sort of started working together a little bit. But mine came from a different direction. I was just trying to support him in his sanity, because with the safety industry comes some really bad things.

[00:06:22] spk_0: Well, hold on. You said you're trying to help him with his sanity. I think you've done a poor job because we see where Josh is that now you got a really good point. Her strategy is different than mine, right? So her strategy is there's a list to follow and you see it. I hate flying with her because she tells me when all the you know, here's here's when they're gonna announce this where this amount of feet here's what they're doing. I'm like, I don't care. I just not something you probably want to know is you're going, e wanna watch a show that I've never seen before? And I wanna land,

[00:06:49] spk_1: which is a huge difference from when we first met, because when I first met him, he was like, Who can you do one of your announcements for me? Can you like?

[00:06:57] spk_0: Well, that was that was a Now the whole world knows about something. Can you give us a little bit more detail?

[00:07:05] spk_1: So you know that that would be a little crazy.

[00:07:10] spk_0: That would be awesome. So So she used to do it with the announcement, as it was, as you were hearing it overhead before the days of the monitors in front of your seat and everything, so she would actually say it, as the person was saying, and I like the way she did it Better is it was it was nice. And then nine months later, we had a little boy and it was just after the announcement that was a stimulant. We were

[00:07:31] spk_1: not a part of Mile High Club. That's not factual.

[00:07:34] spk_0: Say that No s. So let's So now we're talking years later, regard to being a flight attendant. Of course, Josh, I'm sure you're not in the pay phone business anymore, but as you're looking at this, so number one what? I guess what faction of safety are you in currently? And then, of course, we're gonna have to get to the question about your show here in a few moments. Right? So currently were in a very dynamic on deflated affections. I don't think one really exists. So, um, normally with safety, you're dealing with historical events you're dealing with right now. And then you're dealing with the future on DWI. Lean heavily towards the future, trying to gear people to think long term down the road, Um, bringing wellness into it, which most people tend not to do. They think, um, if you have a knife, um, do certain things and you won't cut yourself right? That's that's the here and now. That's the present moment. We generally concentrate on leadership as it relates to safety. So that's that's where we are. I'm not certain that it can even be quantified because even Kayla's safety so a lot of the things that she has taught me to do. There's no real time benefit. The benefit happens later on, and it's very, very tangible and you know when it happens. But you have to do a lot of things to prepare for that moment. To be able to meditate, for instance, I'll be truly transparent. You know, the first time she tried. Need to get me to meditate or do something crazy. I think I got mad, but is it crazy? Hold on it. But to me it was crazy because I didn't I didn't understand the benefit. I didn't. I thought I needed something right then and there. Toe benefit me and meditation doesn't work that way. It comes and it's it's becomes a part of your life. And so when we meditate now, it's very, very natural. But when I first started, I got pissed off. I think I I think I walked out of the rooms that screw this. I'm out. So how did she get you back in? By making an airline style announcement? Yeah, just for a shorter skirt

[00:09:37] spk_1: s. Oh, yeah. Let me take a so I think that for so many years, safety has been sort of disregarded and it still is in a lot of companies. And we really try to change that simply because as a new wife and a new mom, you know, that was just a a really hard time for me. He was just getting back into the safety industry heavily, and I just really saw him bringing in a lot of negativity. And so I realized that that just comes along with the safety industry, and I don't think that people respect that enough. I don't think that they think of it the way that they should, which is everybody's getting home safely to their families. So they want to skimp out on the safety guy. They wanna, you know, just call somebody up that can turn on a computer. And luckily they got a good one with Josh because he really starts to get into the way that he doesn't like safety people to be, which is very typical when you go in. So like, he said, many times, he doesn't really like safety people. But I had Thio overcome a lot during that time with some medical issues and having multiple surgeries to even have a child. And so I started to seek alternative methods definitely different than anything I had ever grown up with.

[00:11:10] spk_0: Now we're talking about Western medicine in particular

[00:11:12] spk_1: s. So I actually went in after a surgery, and they told me they were going to have to put me back in surgery, like, six weeks later. And I was basically devastated because I had had, like, maybe 12 at that point. Yeah, And so I just literally got up from my doctor's little office that we ran and said, No, I'm I'm not going to do that. And he chased me out. It was like, We need to schedule your appointment. I'm like, I'm not going to do it. And so I basically ended up at this acupuncture actually on acupuncturist office and didn't know him. Just I look, I drove around members seeing a sign by Xavier's karate or something like that. And so Dr Yay! Wow, changed my life. I literally went in that day and just sort of collapsed and told him all these things that were going on and he was so amazing, just unbelievable and saved my life. I really give him a lot of credit for that. But he also changed my way of thinking about so many different things. So at that point, this was very early on, and I started trying to sort of incorporate these things into Josh's life, and I thought that he was totally rejecting them. And then he got sick and nobody could answer these questions. He was in the hospital for a week in this whole time. I was calling Dr Yay and saying, My husband's in the hospital and he says, Bring

[00:12:57] spk_2: him to

[00:12:57] spk_1: me as soon as you get him out. Just bring him. Just let him do what they ever after they have to do, you know and bring him to me. So Josh hadn't slept in like a week. Something was wrong with his kidneys and they let him out of the hospital and I took him straight to Dr Yay, and he had been in there literally for a minute. He was terrified of needles, but at this point, he'd been, you know, poked and prodded and all these things for yeah, so he gets on that table, and in one minute I heard him snoring and Dr He walks out and says, So he's sleeping and I'm like, Yea, And so he walked out of there, a believer. He knew that I was on to something and thinking differently. So fast forward. After all these years that I've been trying to get him to listen to me and do things differently, I went thio Ah, women's conference that was like, very empowering. And we were doing a lot of meditation, and I was learning more about meditation at that point. I've never been really good at it. I still don't think I'm good at it, but I think you have to keep working and keep progressing. And so during that time I was doing something crazy, like Kundalini yoga or something like really wild and and they're telling us to manifest things. And I just kept manifesting things for Josh instead of myself, and it was this way of incorporating all of these things that we had learned into safety because he needed a release. He needed something to guide him, to be just more authentic to help other people. He's a fantastic mentor, and so I think he needed Thio do something a little different, and at that time I had been trying to get him to start his own business and he was totally against it. But when I came home from this retreat, I had looked it up on the iPad. And I'm like, I think I want to do this health coaching thing. I thought he was gonna think I was crazy, But some of my medical issues had been coming back because Dr He's in California and I'm now in Florida. So I go take it to him on my iPad, and he says he'd been telling me that he wanted to do something different with our business. He didn't just wanna be a consultant, So I took the iPad to him and I was like, I'm gonna do this class and become a health coach And he read it and I couldn't believe it. He had paid for it before we even discussed it.

[00:15:39] spk_0: Well, hold on, because you have a lot of stuff that you're saying inside of the story. So I wanna make sure that I get all of it, if you don't mind. So let me kind of backtrack a little bit. Here So you were saying that at one point Josh would bring a lot of negativity into your home based off of what he was doing the work. Then you had some health issues. He had some health issues. Then you found Dr Yay. I'm not gonna ask about chloroform and acupuncture and let me just go. I'll ignore that part, but you start going. You said you talked him into starting his own business, which he did not want to do. And then now you're at a portion where you're saying that he already has his business. Let's have that conversation for a brief moment about the negativity piece on what you were seeing, how it was affecting your family. And then how does the transition go that you're seeing this negativity that all of a sudden, Ugo, let's go ahead and start a business inside because it's kind of it's kind of an interesting twist,

[00:16:27] spk_1: right? So I don't think you I don't think I realized I thought he just got better. I thought I thought that he grew in his business in his his, um, climbing up the ladder. I thought that he had just gotten better things were better like because maybe he was a little higher up. He wasn't seeing so much of the negativity. Something like that. But

[00:16:56] spk_0: you're talking about working for somebody else's.

[00:16:57] spk_1: Yes. So over the years, I mean, this is a long span of time, and I thought that he just got better. I thought, Oh, that things were a little better. We're really not going to get a divorce now because, you know, like, he was miserable and it was a bad time. And that's a true story. Like I at one point was like, I can't live with this dude like he is crazy, like either needs a new career. And we talked about that. We laid in bed at night like, you know, what can we do to make this better like, make this a happier life, like you're so down and negative in Over the years, I saw that gradually changing. So when I went to him about the business, he's like on Lee. If you come up with a way to make this different, I can't be an average consultant, and I didn't really understand that. Like, where is he going with this? So once we came to this conclusion that he was going to start his own business and that I was going to do this health coach thing and we were going to combine the two, which people still don't understand, and sometimes we don't either. But it's really working. I think that he then told me, Well, I didn't want to admit that you were right or that your craziness was working. But I've been incorporating these things for years, and that's why it got better. He was. He's telling me like I would use these on my guys in subtle ways. You know? I guess I'm a little strong with my stuff, and he was suddenly incorporating this in. So yeah, I had no idea that he was even doing that or that my methods were really working for him. And now we're able to share this with everybody, like how he got better. Well,

[00:18:38] spk_0: it's interesting that you mention something because a lot I've had a lot of people on the show, and no one has ever been as open as you would just were in the last few minutes where you stated that there was a potential of you actually separating because of this. As you look at this and this and if I'm going too far, let me know. I haven't edit button as I always tell these people. Ah, lot of people, when they have problems in the relationship, they always kind of look outside of their marriage was there at any point during the weather. This is occurring, that thought process actually take place. I think for us it was different. It was such an interesting experience because when you're trying to climb a corporate ladder, it wasn't that I wasn't unhappy with her and I don't think she was unhappy with me. You don't think hold on. E wasn't happy with her. Here's the thing, though, is that we spent so much of our time or I spent so much of my time being whoever my company wanted me to be and being so strong and never showing any signs of weakness, that it came crumbling down into our relationship at home. And it wasn't like I was searching for somebody to replace Kayla. It was me being so depressed, like I was probably very, very difficult to live with because I was I was depressed a lot. And the reason I was depressed because it was just a fake. It was all a lie. I mean, everything about my career was a lie because I would go and tell the people that worked for me. You need to be perfect. Everything needs to be perfect. Perfect. You have to say the right thing. You have to do the right thing 100% of the time. And that's how I was. That's how I was trained in the early days. I mean, you you got promoted when you push somebody else down like you found a weakness. And what you would do is you would tweet that weakness over time in front of people that were decision decision makers. And so you looked really great. That other person look terrible. And so it was an easy decision. And I brought a lot of that in, uh in our marriage, and part of it is when your safety person for a large construction company, sometimes you get paid mawr to be away from home, right? And so I would travel just to travel just so that we could make ends meet. I mean, I remember there were times when we couldn't even do anything, you know, there was no fun. I mean, we didn't take a family vacation for, like, 10 years. It was crazy. We didn't We didn't do anything for ourselves. Um, most of time we didn't buy each other Christmas presents didn't buy each other birthday presents, not because we didn't want to just because could afford it. We put all of our money and dedication into our son, right? So

[00:21:18] spk_1: But let's stop there for a second and just say that that made us who we are today. Like going through those things made us realize Thean important things in life. And this year I think 2020 has been so different, and we were a little bit ahead of the game with bringing in the coaching the wellness into our safety. But this year is really just like opening people's eyes and making them realize the importance of life. And we were fortunate enough to realize that several years ago and started changing things. We still don't buy each other large gifts. We still don't you know, like we celebrate and we go out to eat. We, you know, do those kinds of things, but we've really, like realized that anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas They're all wonderful things to celebrate. But it's not all about the things that people have made it to be.

[00:22:19] spk_0: But I think it's about riel conversations, riel conversations. We joke about it all the time. There's Facebook life, and then there's what life actually is. Hold on. There's two lights. What are you talking about? And so, ah, lot of people that we interact with, they'll say, Oh, yeah, we do this, We do this, We do this and we're like, Make you don't I mean, everybody struggles. And when I 1st 1st started getting the courage, Thio actually tell my employees back before I had teammates, they were actually my employees. That reported to me I would start talking about things weren't always great at home, and things weren't always great here, and I could see the courage it brought out in them. So that's why we're different when when people know it's okay to not have a perfect day every day. That's when our relationship started changing. That's when my my work started changing. That's when my career path started changing. I mean, I've been offered, you know, national positions and turned them down, and people thought I was insane. They're like, Why in the world would you not do that? It's a It's a huge promotion. It's not. It's not what I want to do. It's not what I'm trying to accomplish in life. We've we've been there, done that and it almost cost us our marriage, and it almost cost me my health. I mean, I could have died. But one thing she left out of the story earlier. You know, before we go see Dr Yay, being authentic means always being tough, being tough, tough, tough, tough, tough. And that's the way I was in the hospital. I was. I was trying to be too tough and trying to be macho. And when you don't sleep for a week, there's a bit of psychosis that happens. And it got to the point where I was almost going insane. And you know that that moment with Dr Ye, after spending all those moments with Ph. D. S and their students and everything else and all these doctors and saying what could potentially be wrong with you and Dr He puts me to sleep for like eight hours. And then I slept like a baby that night. I mean, it was it was crazy and I firmly believe in acupuncture. But as a result of what we went through and trying to be authentic, I always thought in my mind that her methods were more expensive. And if you look at it in real time, they are. But long term, they're infinitely cheaper than what we would what we were doing normally.

[00:24:33] spk_1: Absolutely. That's a big thing in what we do. A lot of people say, Well, I can't afford that. I can't do that And I got that a lot from Josh and that just fed my reasoning for reasons that we may not make it because I'm like, I'm going to do this I really don't care, you know. And so we had to take away other things so that we could do alternative medicine and it's not cheap and I think right now people are seeing where that is really playing into this. I'm hoping and praying that the insurance companies start to see this. They are just a little bit there, incorporating maybe some ways thio to incorporate these things into your lives. But it's a huge misconception that these things are a waste of money, waste of time. And that's why we have all these problems with drugs and painkillers, because people don't seek out our alternative treatments, toe work on themselves, and they just go to the doctor because that's what the companies are providing. So with our company, I think we're giving them a little bit of that and hope, hopefully

[00:25:46] spk_2: motivating them

[00:25:47] spk_1: to maybe see where that self care comes in. And it doesn't always have to be big, expensive things. You can do simple things, and I hope that we're able to share those because I guess I should really mention to like the way that this even became a thing for me is I was a Durmus. Ooh, tickle cells rip. Before I met, Josh and I walked into a spa one day and this girl comes tiptoeing out and I have my big hills on in my full suit and she's saying, Hey,

[00:26:29] spk_2: I'm in the middle

[00:26:30] spk_1: of a yoga session. Can you come back

[00:26:32] spk_2: in a couple hours?

[00:26:32] spk_1: Because I really want to talk to you and Jill. Jill Jill probably changed my life even before Dr Yay! Because she set that fire in me and she

[00:26:45] spk_0: mhm. Why? Because you wanted to know what a yoga class was. I'm just asking,

[00:26:48] spk_1: so I never would have tried yoga. I never would have tried Pilates had I not walked into this spot on this particular day.

[00:26:55] spk_0: Was it like hot yoga? You know where they do the song of thing? I'm just

[00:26:58] spk_1: asking because it wasn't. Yeah. So, no, that wasn't a thing back for the goats, But we'll get to that later. But But no, I I really did, like, go to these classes and I thought, This is crazy. I did some Pilates classes where we had to pair up, and I was like, Wow, this is nuts. And some of the things that Jill had me doing, we're just insane. But fast forward all these years, she is the exact one who called and asked me to go to that conference. That then stimulated this conversation with Josh and me. So she is a huge part of where I came from and how far I've come in my thinking and my thought process. She is also the only one that I ever admitted that I didn't think that our marriage was gonna last.

[00:27:57] spk_0: Well, so you have a lot of trust in her.

[00:27:59] spk_1: She is my authentic person. She's the person that I can be really with. And I remember calling her and just crying and saying, Have I made a mistake? I just don't know if I can live with this guy forever, like he is just you know, he's crazy right now. And she really she did. She coached me. She was, you know, without even knowing she was my coach, I really would say she's my coach. I mean, she had her own problems that she dealt with, and, um, she's She's an amazing person, too, but she really did. She helped me through that, but that was the only person I ever admitted that, too. So there's that fake life that we lived, where we were screaming at each other in the house and, you know, it was all because of what he was bringing home for work. He thought he was dying. He was like, convinced himself. He had cancer. At one point, like the doctors were saying, You're fine, what is wrong and He was just so stressed out over his job and safety that he was not present. He was not there. And so But we went to those Christmas parties. We went toe all those functions. And here I was, you know, just like I left my whole career behind to help him grow in his and to take care of our son. And I was at home every day all day long, and that's hard for a career person. So when I started to seek out those other things, and that was the first point that I actually realized and that's what I had to really teach him is in my life with religion and things like that. I had been told meditation is not okay. That's like some Woo Woo thing, that kind of stuff. And I started to understand what it was and try to help him incorporate it. And I'm like, you know, we are praying. We're praying about these things. We're asking for help. God, please help us. Help our marriage help. Whatever it needs for him, Thio, find a new job. Do whatever he needs to do but help us help us. We were never ever listening. So when I started to meditate and listen, I knew what had to happen. And that's when I started helping him to meditate and to listen. So what he needed to what his body needed. Thio. Get more risk, get more sleep, be more positive, take more positivity to work with you. And I think that's when it started changing and I didn't even know it. So I just thought he was getting better, and I didn't realize what an impact I was happening. So let's have

[00:30:49] spk_0: a couple of a couple of different things out of that real quick. You did mention the word woo. So I'm gonna have to bring that up. Some of the concepts that you talk about. I'm assuming, you know, this is an assumption. Of course, when you bring this up as a business person and you're talking to a group of people and you say potentially part of the issue that you're having here is that you're not meditating. Let's just use that as an example. What is the What is the reaction you get? Because I would imagine that's let's just be realistic when it comes to a safety person This might be the first time that they're hearing this from a workplace. So it's kind of will say left field in this occasion now that the concept out of left field, but that you're bringing it up What is normally the initial reaction that you get? So I'd say the normal reaction that we get is just fix our initial problem. So people always bring us in for a finite problem. That's how we get business. There's there's an issue. And so, um, I always try to find that one person in the room that I know is engaged, and I could start hammering that person and saying, Hey, I understand that you believe in what I'm saying but we always tell our clients First and foremost, we're not here to fix your financial problems because we don't believe in that. If we're not a problem, part of some bigger solution, it's not gonna work. Just go hire a normal consultant, get you past this OSHA issue, get you past whatever it's it's not gonna be for us. We're into long term relationships, so that scares a lot of people because long term relationship means you have to spend more money, but it also means that you have to be authentic, and that's the issue that we have with CEOs. So I love to speak to CEOs, and I love the right ones that have the right mindset for for good change. But some people are so afraid of their own, um, issues that they're afraid Thio even let their employees have issues because then it'll all make everybody too vulnerable. So a lot of times we don't get business because of it. They will. They will walk. And that's interesting to me because you can see how well it works long term for companies and the companies that we partnered with for years and years. They do so well now because their self leading, um, but when you have a very hierarchical structure where somebody has to be in charge and has to make every single decision and has to be a part of every conversation, it just tends not to work very well. So we do get laughed out of some of the rooms.

[00:33:20] spk_1: Sure, we dio, but I think that that's a thing that I'm very well prepared for because my own family still hasn't adjusted to what I do in the lifestyles that I have A still, if you ask them right now what we do and what our business is about, my family would probably be like some safety thing. Do some safety thing that they dio, you know. And so I think I'm very prepared for that. We will reaction, and that's the other thing that we really struggle with is in all of our work and our marketing. We struggle with that word because wellness is not exactly the right word for us. That's more of an insurance thing. I think like that's what they come up with, you know, wellness. And ours is just more Woo woo its's the stuff that makes you. I feel really good and it's the stuff that makes you understand yourself. So I'm really surprised at sometimes the people that I least expect I go in and talk to them, and I won. That, I really recall is I told her, you know, we're going to start incorporating this into the package that you already have, and I remember her saying, What a blessing And I'm like, What did she just say that like I was really confused. And so, um, I really just, um I think that Josh also when? When I first graduated from my program that I did, he was ready for me to boom roll out some money. That's what he was thinking. Like he was like, What are we gonna do? How are we gonna do this? What are we going? What are you gonna dio and

[00:35:14] spk_0: I don't talk like that?

[00:35:15] spk_1: Yes, he does. And I really had to tell him. You've got to think the same way that you thought that same process. We can't just drop it like it's hot and be like, Here's some woo woo for you. We've got to roll this in very gradually for people.

[00:35:31] spk_0: I have to tell you, if we were on the radio station, I would drop in the music drop right there with eso. Let

[00:35:36] spk_2: me ask

[00:35:36] spk_0: you something kind of strange here because you've touched on a whole bunch of stuff. But I wanna make sure that I have a clear understanding of this. You saw something in Josh? I'm talking. I'm talking after you're married. Lett's. Make sure they're clear that you were willing for him to risk his career path because you believed on what he was, we would be able to offer to the industry separately. Now, how does that make you feel? Because keep in mind, you have stated that you were the one that was staying at home. You were the one that was actually taking care of the sign. At some extent, there is a level of security with knowing that things air re occurring. If you're working for a business for the most part, when you're starting your own thing, you're killing and catching all at the same time. So why it was the risk worth it to you.

[00:36:26] spk_1: So you're exactly right. I saw something in Josh and I believed in him, and I believed in changing the culture of safety. I actually have been involved in construction and the family construction industry all of my life, and we actually, at one point when we before we got married, I went toe work. I left my job and went to work on a storm clean up with him, and it was a hurricane cleanup and the safety people that were there, they had hired this company that just started, like hiring everybody Can you, you know, count Well, great. You could be a safety guy in. I would see that, like, day in and day out. They would bring all the trucks in in the morning, and the mentality that these people had, it was like this, um macho, you know. No, you're not doing this exactly right. You're fired out. And I saw that Josh had a different attitude and he was willing to take these people on and help them and mentor them. And I really, really started to see that with one of his workers in, um, Texas, who eventually nominated him for the award that he won in mentoring. And I saw that she had a language barrier. She she was nothing like she just wasn't even really surviving in her job until Josh saw something and believed in her and really helped her. And so I kept seeing this over and over again that Josh had something special. But Josh also has humor, something that's always always left out of safety.

[00:38:20] spk_0: Now, what's going on here?

[00:38:21] spk_1: Eso he was. Josh is able to bring safety to a whole nother level and sort of detox it out of you. You know, like the original safety, Um, that goes on. He's able to bring that to a whole nother level and let people see he's able to bring the families in and help them be involved and help the significant others. And the Children see, like we want your siblings or your parents or whoever is working in safety. We want them to get home safely. And so they just saw something different. And I knew that we if we could come up with a little different approach, that it was going to be amazing. And it has been.

[00:39:07] spk_0: So how crazy of an idea was this for when you first hear it, Josh were like, When she turns to you and says, You need to start your own thing, You already talking about climbing the corporate ladder. I know there's some pain points as you're going through it. Why all of a sudden, does this sound will say quote unquote reasonable to dio? Well, so here's the Here's the thing that kind of explains everything that we dio start your own business. What would most people be concerned with? It's money, right? I mean, my first thought in first fear was crap. How am I gonna pay the bills? I'm the sole provider. I I've got this obligation. I've got to do these things. And a lot of it is fear. Just like with what we're trying to accomplish with the Wu stuff. We fought non stop. I suffered from depression. Our marriage was in shambles. Not because we didn't love each other is because mostly fear. And it was fear on both sides. Fear of actually having good conversations and nontraditional conversations. I grew up where if you were sick, you go to the doctor, you get a prescription, you're good to go. If you go to the dentist and they do some dental work and they give you 15 hydrocodone owns, you take all 15. Why would they give you anything if if you didn't need it. And so a lot of what Kayla was telling me was stimulating nontraditional thought. But it was scary. I mean, it was it was terrifying to think differently. And so what we're trying to do with this business and why it's been a success? Not not just the humor aspect of it, but I go in completely transparent Kayla goes in completely transparent, and we tell these stories, and we're very open about our experiences and how we thought in the past and how easy it is to make the change. But we also don't offer magic pills that say, Take three of these and you'll be perfect on Wednesday. How? How is that the case? How does that not exist? You should. It

[00:41:02] spk_1: should. But we'd be taking them, even existed. And that's we're not perfect either. And people will see that they need to see us and realized that we struggle every single day with the same things that they're struggling. And it's not a quick fix. It's a process Over time. Thio. Just heal yourself and nurture yourself and you will have better results.

[00:41:23] spk_0: Well, let's probably talk about that portion because that's what we probably need to talk about next. Because now we're all of a sudden you're coming onto safety FM. You have married with safety. How are people are going to get more of these tidbits like what exactly is your show going to consistent? I mean, I love the titling because I really think that there's not really anyone in the industry. Currently, that's talking about it. Give it a moment of time. You'll see how that changes, but no one's really talking about this. So what exactly is your show going to Consistent? Because the titling is great and you're saying, you know they can hear more about you. Please tell me what what? The concept is overall for the show, so I think it's It's pretty simple. It's tying our historical past where we were, where we are now and then everything in between and the where we are now is not perfect. And actually, part of the show is therapeutic. It's kind of it's kind of cool to talk about some of these things because it makes me appreciate her more. She appreciates me more, but the show really is about You're in a tough profession, and it doesn't even need to be for safety people. Everybody's in it. If you have a job, you're in a tough profession. Having a job is tough, and how are you going to deal with those things? How are you going to deal with certain emotions? Do you have a support system? Do you have a Kayla at home? If you don't have a Kayla at home. How do you find somebody that can better support you? You know, without leaving Kayla? Uh, divorce. But it's really truly about dealing with your emotions and understanding that real world problems exist. And people don't have to be perfect all the time. But there are ways around dealing with your emotions that don't involve anger. I mean, we we almost broke up as we were dating, because I had such terrible anger issues. And people look at me now and they're like you had anger issues. I was thinking the exact same thing as you said it. To be honest with you, it's crazy because you know me 18 years ago, 20 years ago, if somebody hurt my feelings in any way, I would cut them as Deepa Zai could possibly cut them. That's the way that I was brought up. Thio be. You know, if somebody is challenging you in any way, toe lash out, and I think that's what our show is all about is instead of lashing out, let's find some different ways of coping with everything right,

[00:43:39] spk_1: and I think the beauty of our show is I think it's beautiful anyway, is actually that we reach both sides and this doesn't need to be a thing of I'm helping wives. And Josh is helping whatever you know, like it needs to be a thing of You will find a way to relate to both of us and help each other because, believe me, I remember the first time that the stay at home dad approached me and Josh worked with his wife and they were about to have a baby, and he was going to be the one. They made that decision, and he's like, Wow, this is really weird. This is crazy. Like, what am I gonna dio? And so you know, this is not like a gender thing. This is not a who's staying at home thing. This is something that you will find something in each of us that will help you help each other. And that's exactly what we did where I have strengths. Josh has weaknesses and vice versa. And we find those things and we build on those things. But we don't do it in a traditional way. We do it in a very untraditional way, and it works, and we want to encourage other people to seek those things and to seek happiness in truth and authenticity and don't have fear. I was raised on fear. Josh brought that up a little bit. That's a huge, huge part of what we deal with is a lot of our things stemmed from fear and we want to help others deal with their fear because it's a huge problem.

[00:45:20] spk_0: Now when you say fear, are you talking about fear from for like, personal? Are you talking about business or you? What exactly do you mean?

[00:45:27] spk_1: Everything. So my fears are were more from the way that I was raised and just to be taught Thio, fear everything. I feared everything. But I was totally different in my career. I didn't fear anything. I was fearless. I would say I was, you know, great at my job. And when he met me, I was the Durmus article sales rep. I was I love doing that. I was very just confident in that. And so, as a flight attendant, of course, you can't really have fear. They're like, you know that's not the craziest thing you can dio, So I definitely didn't have fear about that and Josh totally has fear about all of his stuff that he does. The dishes

[00:46:19] spk_0: just called you out. I just want you, Teoh,

[00:46:24] spk_1: right? But he never has fear over daily things. He's just like what you scared about? What do you feel about? You know, like that is just his thing, like, there's nothing. So we had Thio help each other with those things because we had to come together somewhere because that was a huge problem. That was one of the biggest problems is he thought that because I was scared of everything, that he had to make more money to fix that. And I was ready

[00:46:56] spk_0: or or to say, Oh, everything's okay. Everything's okay. Everything's okay. That was I think that was the biggest issue with our marriage is that she would come to me with actual tangible things that we needed to work on, and I would say, No, it's okay, it's okay. I didn't know how to fix him, so I would just say No, it's it'll be fine. It will be fine. There was no plan

[00:47:14] spk_1: because he kind of in his mind, I think thought that his biggest role was to work and make the money and that that would fix everything And what I really needed waas the presence. I needed him to be there with me. I needed him to be present. And there are things that happened that you that you certainly get a wake up call. And I think that's when Josh had worked in the, um, Alaska for he had been building an airport in a very rural part of Alaska and he was there all the time for, like, three months at a time. And I was at home doing nothing, taking care of our child. There were times that he couldn't even call me at night, and this was not okay, and it just it drove my fears to a higher level. So just to go ahead and put this out there, I'm sure this is gonna come up a lot and something that's very hard for me to talk about. Um, I went in on at four o'clock one day, Thio, get my hair cut, drop my son off with my mom, and the next thing I know, I had a gun to my head and I was being robbed and held at gunpoint. He took everything I had car keys, everything I luckily I had held. I had my phone in my hand and I held on to it. And I remember, you know, calling my mom and saying, Mom, come get me. I've just been robbed and they couldn't find me. It was a really big thing. And I had to call Josh several times in Alaska because I couldn't get ahold of him. And I remember telling him, like, cancel everything we have. Like, I have nothing. It was like, 10 days before Christmas. I didn't have a credit card to buy Christmas presents like cancel everything, cancel

[00:49:33] spk_2: everything we

[00:49:34] spk_1: have because he has everything. And so that was a huge wake up call for us. Like Josh came home and it was like, Where do we go from here? Because that fear that I had just got magnet magnified by about a million and no sleep, no staying at home by myself, so has changed everything. And how long

[00:50:02] spk_0: ago were talking where if you don't mind me asking and and thank you for sharing that because I know living that just even thinking about

[00:50:07] spk_1: horrible, horrible um, so My son was four years old, so I think around 10 years ago. Yeah. And one

[00:50:17] spk_0: 1010 was not a great year. No. 2000.

[00:50:19] spk_1: Yeah. And then we began to see, you know, their things happen for a reason. This is a you know, another testament of that. Um, because of what happened, we were able to see from so many different aspects of how these how these events change people's lives. And it was not just mine or Josh is, um, you know, I have a four year old son who shows up with my parents while I'm being interviewed by 10 policemen. Uh, he what? He gets to see helicopters circling me, and this was very dramatic. So clearly he was traumatized. But then Josh actually flew home. We had Christmas, and during the company Christmas party, I got a call from my detective. Can you come in and do the lineup? What? We have this guy, and so we had to go do that, and I had to face him again and see that. And so I got to see you know what it was like for a police officer. You know, he's working on Christmas. It was like Christmas Eve and here we have to go in cause he's got to get this guy identified, you know? So when I left there, though, I think Josh was really amazed because I just started to sob and cry and he said, What's wrong? Are you okay? And I said, It just really got to me when I saw him when I looked at him again, that, um, his mother is without him tonight on Christmas. And so that lit a whole nother passion. He was a drug addict. Josh had been dealing with a lot of people who were hooked on drugs because they had, um, they were addicted because they've had minor injuries and things like that. So that's a huge part of our business. Because of that, we saw what happens when these young kids get their hands on a little pain pill and it turns into this huge saga. And he was a heroin addict, and, um, it turns out that they tagged the building that night because he was a part of a gang initiation and was specifically told to kill a dark haired girl, preferably with blue eyes. So to think about that. That's what the tag on the building said. That's what the detective told me. And we were like, Wow, this was almost over. Like I was almost gone. He realized that there were kids watching because there were kids. They're getting their hair cut and decided that he couldn't do it.

[00:53:18] spk_0: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Whoa. So you find this out

[00:53:22] spk_1: after the line up during after

[00:53:25] spk_0: and then after the line up, and you still have this level of empathy towards someone else going on. This is not normal natural human reaction.

[00:53:33] spk_2: You

[00:53:33] spk_1: know, The weird

[00:53:35] spk_0: thing is, is the police officers, they see a lot of things and they become numb to him, right? And so throughout this, they told us a lot of things that were just like, Holy crap. I mean, this makes no sense way don't normally see this, but the worst part about it was the reparations. And so they said, I figure with the number one, I think it was $2000 because we got a camera in all kinds of stuff in her purse and said, Okay, this guy owes you $2000 and so we were like, good. He needs to pay us our money back immediately. Boom. Pay us back on eye for an eye. But what we quickly found is we got the first check. I think it was like for $2.70 early

[00:54:15] spk_1: on, this was, like three

[00:54:16] spk_0: dollars, 76 cents. And they were like, you're going to receive these checks until the the money is paid back. And so what we found is we both had to relive this after every single check. So it took one check and we called down. How do we stop this from happened? How do we not get paid? And they were like, You don't want your money and like, like the psychological portion of it. So, um, part of the reason that our business is a success is because I can relate, and we can relate to completely different things and bring it together for something that is common for a lot of people to understand. That's where I think we're a little bit different. And so we have these stories, but we can tell these stories in advance of a greater goal. And in fact, I had a conversation with a brand new client yesterday. Great individual. Kayla was listening to it. She's like, Man, he sounds so smart, you know? And this happens to be a tree company. And the things that I was telling him my vision, he was like, Wow, we need that. We need that. It wasn't solving anything about his immediate problem because their immediate problem is safety. But it was more about how can I make your life better? Because obviously you're not getting but three or four hours of sleep a night. Obviously, you're not doing well for your own psychological good. Let's get you in a better place. So I said, You know, I think part of our be hag, you know, big hairy, audacious goal at the end of this year contract is that you need to be in a completely different place with your span of control. And he thought I was just gonna talk nothing about. Here's the things that we need to do safety wise beyond it really geared more toward how we can help him personally. And that's what she taught me. And she taught me that it doesn't matter. And one thing I always tell the employees that have worked for me. And in fact, when I left one of the company's everybody was all upset, which is silly anyway. But they were devastated. And I said, You just understand. In two weeks on my ghost it will be like I never existed in this company. No, you'll live on forever. You're you're the guy. Two weeks later, I was a ghost, just just like I predicted. But people throw so much of their time and efforts into a company, and that's important. But being authentic at home is way more important because this is we're no longer living in the type of society where you work for the same company for 45 years to retire with a pension. The pension. Yeah, it's just it's just different. So you have to think differently. The fear for me going back to your original question about you know, this fear based stuff. So me, I was scared when something that I thought to be true turned out not to be true. And so I refused to acknowledge a different set of circumstances. So my thought was, if if it's not true, say it louder, make it more true, you can see that with some of the politicians that you see today. Then they're obviously caught in a lie, and they just say it in a different way just to make it true. Instead of just acknowledging, Uh, that's not entirely true. Maybe we should think differently. So she Kayla taught me to think differently and to encourage other people to think differently. So that's that's what s L. I is all about. But really, that's what the podcast is married to Safety is all about. Here's what you're thinking now maybe just think a little bit differently. We're not there to fix all the problems were there to stimulate original thought, to help people with their own lives. So before we, before we end this, I have a question because you both have mentioned the same word and I wanna make sure that the audience does understand what you what you both mean. I would love to get it separate Answer. Of course about it. You both use the word authentic. What does that mean to you?

[00:58:10] spk_1: Oh, so for me, that means that I realized I had been living a life that was not me not meant for me my entire life, and it took me a very long time. And very, it was a gradual thing, just overcoming some of the things that had been talk to me and really, you know, I was a little brainwashed at times about certain things, and so I realized that I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to be someone that people can relate to. I wanted to be able toe, look at you and say, Really, I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. I, too, have thought that my marriage was going to end at one point, and this is what I did to help that and some people just sugar coat those things and never let those things out. It's swept under the rug, and so that's why it's so important to talk about those things. So for me it was letting go of being judgmental because that's what I had always been taught to do. It was letting go of always needing the best and worrying about money and realizing it will come. If you help people. That's that's where success comes from. You don't need money, you need to help others and you need to help others in many different ways, whether that's time giving your time or sometimes money, but sometimes just listening and not talking but listening to people. So for me, it was just a whole gradual change of being my riel true self and being able to be truthful with all of my friends and not posting things on Facebook just to make me look better just to make our family look like it was amazing and wonderful when really we were, you know, screaming at each other. And, you know, going to dis separate rooms and watching TV just to be away from each other. And so it's just being riel. Just be yourself and who you were meant to be. And don't let others influence you to be something that you're not

[01:00:45] spk_0: que Josh. I don't even want. Tokyo should have gone first. It feels like so it minds a little bit easier. Um, so authenticity to me is to be honest with your emotions, um, whether they're good, whether they're bad, it's just being honest in the moment and allowing people to trust that that's actually who you are, she says. The best when You know, we're talking about the Facebook and, you know, people post pictures of their their vacations And you think, Oh, every day must be like that every day must be looked like like their Christmas card picture. Our Christmas card last year was Kayla Holding are boxed in, getting licked in the face, you know, doing this number and us laughing at her and it wasn't staged. It was just something that happened in the moment. It was just authentic. We laughed at our dog and we're not perfect. And we put that on a Christmas card. That, to me, is being authentic. It's just who you really are when nobody's watching. That's authenticity. Well, I appreciate you both coming onto the show. If people want to know more about your podcast, let's call it a show because it's probably gonna end up being more than just the podcast. Of course, they want to know more information about you and your company working, they dio. So the easiest way to get a hold of us is to go toe ignite the journey dot com great website that Kayla absolutely adores Right now, that's through any kind of rebranding or additional information added to ESO. You can get us at Kayla, ignite the journey dot com and Josh Ignite the journey dot com. And then, if you want to see our podcast, if you wanna hear our podcast, you go safety FM, and it can take you directly through not only our platform but ah, lot of other great guests as well. I know I know a couple of things about that Safety FM thing. I appreciate you both being on the show. Really do appreciate the time today. Thanks, Jay. Well, they're Ugo Josh one Kayla called El. Coming on to the network of Safety FM, bringing their own flavor of safety. Make sure to tune into their all new show starting January the sixth on safety FM dot com. Married to Safety Boy is that going to be something entirely different than what most will expect anyway? Thank you for always being the best part of safety FM, and that is the listener. We'll be back with another episode of the J. Allen show before too long. Good bye for now and we'll see you soon. Once more of the J. Allen show you safety FM dot com Safety FM, changing safety cultures, one broadcast and one podcast at a time.

[01:03:43] spk_2: The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the host and its guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the company. Examples of analysis discussed within this podcast are only examples. It should not be utilized in the real world as the only solution available as they are based only on very limited and dated open source information. Assumptions made within this analysis are not reflective of the position of the company. No part of this podcast, maybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means mechanical Elektronik recording or otherwise, without prior written commission of the creator of the podcast, Jay Allen.