Dating Kinky
A case for dating profiles that allow others to self-deselect.
August 14, 2020
Write your profile so that the wrong people can self-deselect.
A lot of relationship advice and perspective is centered on “fixing” how other people do things.

“How do I get my partner to do X?”
“What if they won’t do Y?”
“I’m so sick of ABC, and they just won’t change.”

Which, I’m sure works for some people.

It’s not my game, though. To me, that is not the most efficient way to create a healthy, satisfying and loving relationship (kinky or otherwise).

Because as I like to say (A LOT), the only person we can control in life is ourself, and that imperfectly.

So, I tend to focus more on what WE can do, versus what we can try to make others do. Mostly because trying to make others do things is way more effort than I’m willing to put in for potentially the rest of my life with someone.

Or several someones, considering I’m nonmonogamous and a dominant.

And I like to begin as I will continue. With my dating profile.

Find the transcript for this episode here.