Finding the love of your life as an older adult can be an elusive proposition Alan told his friend that he's going to be in our podcast and he will be talking about love. His friend's reaction was “You?! A love doctor? That's a real laugh. You've never been any good at love. The only luck you ever have is love with your novels.” She knows Alan very well that's why she had that opinion. Alan had some long-term relationships that didn't work out. Alan easily finds love but struggles to maintain relationships. In this episode, Alan shares his past dating experiences, why he thinks they didn’t work out and how he plans to navigate romance going forward. Alan isn’t on dating sites and he doesn’t go on blind dates but he puts himself out there in various ways, such as dancing. On Today’s Show we discuss: * 6 pillars of retirement * Selfishness in relationships * Getting and Keeping love * The difficulty of connecting as you get older  What Alan Has Learned from Past Experiences That Will Help in Future Love Endeavors? “I think I’ve been selfish in my relationships. I vowed to be less selfish, more flexible and less rigid.”  The Irony of Relationships Among Older People Many older people don’t feel they need to be in a relationship. At the same time, studies show if you are married, you are more likely to live a longer and healthier life. Learn from Alan * Don’t try to sell your book on a first date * Put your phone down on dates and when you’re with loved ones * Be present in the moment * It’s never too late, the love of your life could be right around the corner. * Don't look for someone faults and why a relationship won't work. Focus on the positive  Alan’s advice  “Be flexible and open” Alan Mindell is a prior podcast guest, bestselling author, guide at Friendly Excursions and multiple gold winner of the San Diego version of the Senior Olympics. Connect with Alan solanabeachalan@yahoo.com Alan’s Books The B Team: The Closer: A Baseball Love Story