Episode 48: Let Them Tell You No
December 11, 2023
Now, let's dive into a crucial topic: "Let them tell you no." Ever felt hesitant about applying for a job because you didn't meet all the requirements? 🤔 In this session, I share why it's vital to overcome the fear of rejection and take that leap. As women, we often hold back, but it's time to challenge ourselves.
What is going on Periscope replay viewers, viewers on the web and Twitter. Thank you all for joining me. I'm Michele Heyward, woman of color and stem civil engineer and founder of the tech company, positive hire. I am here for mentor Monday. Why are you here? I hope you're here. Because you are here to be mentored. If you're not, and you're just hanging out. Welcome, welcome. Anyway, I'm glad you decided to join me today. Now. Today's topic. Hey, is that Kim? I don't know. Who is that? I can't tell. Okay. Hey, Kim. Um, so today I am talking about from the title, let them tell you now. And you're like, let them tell you no. Yes. I know, we all feel fear rejection. But this is the one time when it's truly truly important that you step out, thanks for the heart, super heart. Hey, Michelle, that you let them tell you now. And you're like, who is they? And why are they telling me no. Oftentimes, women will not apply for a job, if they don't have 100% or majority of the requirements for a position a man or read like I'm alive and I can read it, I'm gonna apply seriously, they see no reason in not applying, women will find several reasons not to apply. Do not do that. Let them tell you no, and you're like, Michelle, I cannot wrap my head around applying for something and I don't know the job. So let's break that down. Let's truly truly break this down for you to feel more comfortable in applying for positions where you don't think you would be successful at the job. Because number one, I don't think you should apply for a job if you know 100% of what to do. Because you're going to be bored and like 60 days is going to drive you bananas. By Why did I take this job it is too easy. I learned everything because well you knew every day when you took it have some room to grow, to have some room to grow. So number one, when you read the job description of somebody describes the job to you, you are interested and you're interested in two different ways. One way is you go and research that industry that position what it would be like to hold that position that is like oh my god this really so you start investigating and researching and your interest continues to grow about this position. Right? Or you cannot get that that position that opportunity out of your mind. You're thinking about all the ways you could do something you can make it better you can improve the world you can improve the process you can make an impact it just will not leave your mind that is the number one reason why you should be apply like the deadline is like in two hours apply.
Just apply do not tell yourself no let them tell you no. Okay, so just because let me tell you what's going to happen. We generally do not regret the things we do we regret the things we did not take the chance on. Yes. You're probably like oh my god, I remember when I was younger. I should have done this. Right. Now there are some things that we regret that we did. But most of the time we regret the things that we did not do the opportunities we did not take the risks. We did not take take those and if you are just joining me and you have not shared this out, press those three dots. Press those dots away is it those guys?
Yeah, those guys go ahead and share this out. So the second thing you know nothing about this industry. I still want you to apply, especially as women of color in STEM we have so much to bring and we can learn so much from But we offer so much. You may know nothing about this industry, but you may be able to impact it and grow it in a way that it's never seen before. Yes, bringing in different backgrounds, different ways of thinking really can change the way something is developed, how it's deployed, who it helps, whose lives it changes. So it's truly important to take the time like, you know what, I'm gonna do it anyway. Yes. So don't get discouraged. So you know nothing about this industry, you know, nothing about position, but you know, you can do the job. You like? Well, Misha, I don't know if I can do it. Okay. Let's talk about it. You already got a degree, you're already in industry, you doing some damn things? Yes, you doing some damn things? Why not continue to do it in a different industry and in different employment with the same employees, just a different division different business unit, that you can go in and still make an impact? You know, what happens? All you got to do is learn and grow, learn and grow at the very least that's the that's the smallest you got to do. I'm just saying. So what's the third thing? Stand? In your own knowledge?
Do I like what are you talking about standing my own knowledge? Michelle, I don't know how to do this job. You don't listen? Oh, you don't listen, you already know so much. So this is this is what I want you to do. So oftentimes, yes, engineers are sweet as fi. But they also very brilliant. Oops, very brilliant and very smart. Very smart. So what does that look like? So I want you to take the time to truly look inside yourself and figure out what you're really good at. And there are two resources I want you to check out. And actually, while I'm where I'm talking about, I can pull them up. The first is the Colby test a or I thought it was a Kobe, Kobe eight index. And it is a test is K O L B II. And the other is a book that she can get off of Amazon and they've actually updated it and added a workbook called unique ability. And both of these really look at what you do innately differently, some things that are innately unique to you. And I bring them up because there's really a different way to find out what you're good at. And it can scare the crap out of people, when I have them when I have clients actually do this from time to time, if they're really stuck. So back to the Kobe, let me see what this is say. So this is the code, neither one of these resources are free. They do cost money.
And what is the Colby a index, it is truly at assessment. And it looks at what we call our instincts, or our gut feeling. And it's truly what I natural strengths are. And it focuses on our natural strengths. And as women we have several of those, but when we know what what our natural strengths are, we know how to build a team around those natural strengths. We understand why we're drawn to take on certain types of work certain types of roles, because within our instincts, our beings, we now know exactly what makes us tick. And that is truly truly phenomenal. This is why I truly love this test. It costs $50. Like I said, it is not free. But it is truly It was truly pivotal for me understanding who I was and what I really did well, and I go back and I read this test over and over again. I took this test six years ago. I think it was 2012, six years or six or seven years ago. But I go back and I read the results like once a year. If I'm thinking they can I'm falling off. Now the next one is a book. And the version I read was this one called unique ability. It came out in 2003 I probably read it maybe 2000 2010 and 12 at the same time I did um The Kolbe a index, what I really liked about this book, and this is the paperback, it's $105. Now that book called 105, I did not pay $105 for this book. It did, I'll say mine.
Maybe it's a package together, let's click on us. But what's good about this particular book is, it really makes you focus on what is unique about you what is what are you able to do that others aren't able to do. And it makes you contact people whom you've worked with, whether it's been as an employer, you could have been volunteering together, maybe in church, and really ask different people who know you what you're really good at, and I send out emails and I go back and reread these emails, I had maybe four or five people respond out about 10 people that I sent it to. And they can write just words, short phrases, full sentences, but it helps you not only to understand what your unique ability is, but how people see you. So you may think that you're not a leader, that people don't see you as a go to person. And the feedback that you may get is like, yes, whenever I have an issue with this, I always think of the time when you did this are always reached out to you because I know you're so great at this. And you like Oh, I thought I was just helping you out. I never thought about that. I'm the one that everybody always comes to, to have this issue resolved.
Yes, it is so pivotal. Now they have the workbook that comes with this now unique ability 2.0 Define your best self, I have not checked this out. And this came out three years ago, just over three years, three years and 10 days ago. So you can check this out, too, I cannot tell you what it's about whether it's exactly the same thing on what's different about it, what they've added to it. So you can check into it. Again, this is selling for $50. I'm like, but for this to be 105 Yeah, I pay like $15 for this book, but you can buy used for a few dollars. Yeah, just buy a used copy. And pay to 1254 and 105. I don't know what the hell's going on. But it really is a great book, I've done live streams about the different steps in here on how to use how to you get through and go through it. It's been a couple years, actually, since I, I went through that. So maybe it'd be a good exercise to go through towards the end of the year beginning of 2019 to have everybody refocus and look at their their goals. So, those are the two resources. So let them tell you know, is about applying for positions where you do not have 100% So 90% at hell, you may not have 50% of the requirements, right? But you see, it has a great opportunity, you're really interested in that role, you can't stop thinking about it, you're doing research on it, you know that you have this skill set that you can bring in to there so this is a bonus. So you're like Michelle okay, I'm apply for this role.
But a way my resume is set up in a way my LinkedIn looks looks like this is why I want you to look at unique ability and the Colby a index because what happens with these two resources, now you know what you're innately good at a you can frame your cover letter and and redraft your resume so that they show your strong points. You can take what you previously done and been successful thus far in your career and frame it so that you are putting your best self as it relates to that particular position upfront. Because like you said, they're gonna look at you like, well, you don't have this, this, this, this and this. But if you know what you bring to the table is pivotal. Like, is no way anybody can be successful in this role, even if they have have all these other things even have 22 years of experience. If they don't have this, this and this which I have, they won't be successful. The other 70% the other 220 things they need they say they have to have they only need these five Guess what? I have those five hell I got one of those five. Let's go with it. Just apply let them tell you no. So you're probably like Michelle but how do you reframe a resume like that? So I'm and trust me, I did not do this. So don't don't send me messages, asking me I don't know if I want want to show you this, let me see. Let me see what is on here. But it is definitely if you pick up a great book
Yeah, this is not gonna help you, because I didn't write any of my SP questions and I'm not gonna be able to help you. But you can definitely pick up some resume books to understand how to change like not do a chronological order. Resume, there are different formats, so that you are selecting the one that works best for you. When you're applying to certain roles, especially when you're changing industries, you're changing roles in an industry that you've not done before. And you think it's gonna be tough, you need to change it to look at your accomplishments. And that usually comes to like, dollar save amount of money managed number of people manage, it could be a reductions in costs. So cost savings, safety, whatever is really pertinent to your, your industry, or even that industry is even better if you can prove a track record, but any way that you can show a percentage or dollars, do that that really really has to be in your resume. any questions anybody?
Hey, now there's a Alan, you're telling you Are you a night person? Cuz cuz you're up. And otherwise, I want to get off off of here. I still got a few things to do tonight. And eventually, I'm gonna go to bed. But not yet. All right. No questions, no comments, guess what I'm about to do. Deuces everybody. Have a great night and I will catch YOU on tomorrow. Bye, Kim. Good to see you.
Just apply do not tell yourself no let them tell you no. Okay, so just because let me tell you what's going to happen. We generally do not regret the things we do we regret the things we did not take the chance on. Yes. You're probably like oh my god, I remember when I was younger. I should have done this. Right. Now there are some things that we regret that we did. But most of the time we regret the things that we did not do the opportunities we did not take the risks. We did not take take those and if you are just joining me and you have not shared this out, press those three dots. Press those dots away is it those guys?
Yeah, those guys go ahead and share this out. So the second thing you know nothing about this industry. I still want you to apply, especially as women of color in STEM we have so much to bring and we can learn so much from But we offer so much. You may know nothing about this industry, but you may be able to impact it and grow it in a way that it's never seen before. Yes, bringing in different backgrounds, different ways of thinking really can change the way something is developed, how it's deployed, who it helps, whose lives it changes. So it's truly important to take the time like, you know what, I'm gonna do it anyway. Yes. So don't get discouraged. So you know nothing about this industry, you know, nothing about position, but you know, you can do the job. You like? Well, Misha, I don't know if I can do it. Okay. Let's talk about it. You already got a degree, you're already in industry, you doing some damn things? Yes, you doing some damn things? Why not continue to do it in a different industry and in different employment with the same employees, just a different division different business unit, that you can go in and still make an impact? You know, what happens? All you got to do is learn and grow, learn and grow at the very least that's the that's the smallest you got to do. I'm just saying. So what's the third thing? Stand? In your own knowledge?
Do I like what are you talking about standing my own knowledge? Michelle, I don't know how to do this job. You don't listen? Oh, you don't listen, you already know so much. So this is this is what I want you to do. So oftentimes, yes, engineers are sweet as fi. But they also very brilliant. Oops, very brilliant and very smart. Very smart. So what does that look like? So I want you to take the time to truly look inside yourself and figure out what you're really good at. And there are two resources I want you to check out. And actually, while I'm where I'm talking about, I can pull them up. The first is the Colby test a or I thought it was a Kobe, Kobe eight index. And it is a test is K O L B II. And the other is a book that she can get off of Amazon and they've actually updated it and added a workbook called unique ability. And both of these really look at what you do innately differently, some things that are innately unique to you. And I bring them up because there's really a different way to find out what you're good at. And it can scare the crap out of people, when I have them when I have clients actually do this from time to time, if they're really stuck. So back to the Kobe, let me see what this is say. So this is the code, neither one of these resources are free. They do cost money.
And what is the Colby a index, it is truly at assessment. And it looks at what we call our instincts, or our gut feeling. And it's truly what I natural strengths are. And it focuses on our natural strengths. And as women we have several of those, but when we know what what our natural strengths are, we know how to build a team around those natural strengths. We understand why we're drawn to take on certain types of work certain types of roles, because within our instincts, our beings, we now know exactly what makes us tick. And that is truly truly phenomenal. This is why I truly love this test. It costs $50. Like I said, it is not free. But it is truly It was truly pivotal for me understanding who I was and what I really did well, and I go back and I read this test over and over again. I took this test six years ago. I think it was 2012, six years or six or seven years ago. But I go back and I read the results like once a year. If I'm thinking they can I'm falling off. Now the next one is a book. And the version I read was this one called unique ability. It came out in 2003 I probably read it maybe 2000 2010 and 12 at the same time I did um The Kolbe a index, what I really liked about this book, and this is the paperback, it's $105. Now that book called 105, I did not pay $105 for this book. It did, I'll say mine.
Maybe it's a package together, let's click on us. But what's good about this particular book is, it really makes you focus on what is unique about you what is what are you able to do that others aren't able to do. And it makes you contact people whom you've worked with, whether it's been as an employer, you could have been volunteering together, maybe in church, and really ask different people who know you what you're really good at, and I send out emails and I go back and reread these emails, I had maybe four or five people respond out about 10 people that I sent it to. And they can write just words, short phrases, full sentences, but it helps you not only to understand what your unique ability is, but how people see you. So you may think that you're not a leader, that people don't see you as a go to person. And the feedback that you may get is like, yes, whenever I have an issue with this, I always think of the time when you did this are always reached out to you because I know you're so great at this. And you like Oh, I thought I was just helping you out. I never thought about that. I'm the one that everybody always comes to, to have this issue resolved.
Yes, it is so pivotal. Now they have the workbook that comes with this now unique ability 2.0 Define your best self, I have not checked this out. And this came out three years ago, just over three years, three years and 10 days ago. So you can check this out, too, I cannot tell you what it's about whether it's exactly the same thing on what's different about it, what they've added to it. So you can check into it. Again, this is selling for $50. I'm like, but for this to be 105 Yeah, I pay like $15 for this book, but you can buy used for a few dollars. Yeah, just buy a used copy. And pay to 1254 and 105. I don't know what the hell's going on. But it really is a great book, I've done live streams about the different steps in here on how to use how to you get through and go through it. It's been a couple years, actually, since I, I went through that. So maybe it'd be a good exercise to go through towards the end of the year beginning of 2019 to have everybody refocus and look at their their goals. So, those are the two resources. So let them tell you know, is about applying for positions where you do not have 100% So 90% at hell, you may not have 50% of the requirements, right? But you see, it has a great opportunity, you're really interested in that role, you can't stop thinking about it, you're doing research on it, you know that you have this skill set that you can bring in to there so this is a bonus. So you're like Michelle okay, I'm apply for this role.
But a way my resume is set up in a way my LinkedIn looks looks like this is why I want you to look at unique ability and the Colby a index because what happens with these two resources, now you know what you're innately good at a you can frame your cover letter and and redraft your resume so that they show your strong points. You can take what you previously done and been successful thus far in your career and frame it so that you are putting your best self as it relates to that particular position upfront. Because like you said, they're gonna look at you like, well, you don't have this, this, this, this and this. But if you know what you bring to the table is pivotal. Like, is no way anybody can be successful in this role, even if they have have all these other things even have 22 years of experience. If they don't have this, this and this which I have, they won't be successful. The other 70% the other 220 things they need they say they have to have they only need these five Guess what? I have those five hell I got one of those five. Let's go with it. Just apply let them tell you no. So you're probably like Michelle but how do you reframe a resume like that? So I'm and trust me, I did not do this. So don't don't send me messages, asking me I don't know if I want want to show you this, let me see. Let me see what is on here. But it is definitely if you pick up a great book
Yeah, this is not gonna help you, because I didn't write any of my SP questions and I'm not gonna be able to help you. But you can definitely pick up some resume books to understand how to change like not do a chronological order. Resume, there are different formats, so that you are selecting the one that works best for you. When you're applying to certain roles, especially when you're changing industries, you're changing roles in an industry that you've not done before. And you think it's gonna be tough, you need to change it to look at your accomplishments. And that usually comes to like, dollar save amount of money managed number of people manage, it could be a reductions in costs. So cost savings, safety, whatever is really pertinent to your, your industry, or even that industry is even better if you can prove a track record, but any way that you can show a percentage or dollars, do that that really really has to be in your resume. any questions anybody?
Hey, now there's a Alan, you're telling you Are you a night person? Cuz cuz you're up. And otherwise, I want to get off off of here. I still got a few things to do tonight. And eventually, I'm gonna go to bed. But not yet. All right. No questions, no comments, guess what I'm about to do. Deuces everybody. Have a great night and I will catch YOU on tomorrow. Bye, Kim. Good to see you.