[00:00:00] :   This this show is brought to you by safety FM. Warning. The following broadcast contains adult language, adult content, frank safety discussions and stories that might sound unbelievable. But believe me, every one of those stories is true. We didn't start the safety war, but we are going to fight to win it for our families, for our communities, for our workplaces and for our lives. This podcast brings back some memories for me. We have to go in the way back machine of around 1990 for 1995. The Internet was in its infancy and we had people actually doing this. Everybody had a fax machine and you would receive junk faxes. Some people I know today with long term numbers attached to fax machines still get junk faxes, believe it or not where people would actually go. But uh no, this is like predating memes and things of that nature. They put a fax a piece of paper in the fax machine with, with whatever the meme was, whatever the idea was and they'd send it out and every day you get a new thing, whether it was solicited or not and would aggravate people to no end because you're using ink were a thermal paper and your fax machine to get junk mail basically. But one of the things that came about in this and I always remember was the immutable laws of project management. I was given a copy of these laws, I lost them and could not find them for years on the internet until about two, maybe three years ago. And they're a little bit humorous. They're a little bit serious, but you can't say that they're not true. I shared it with my uh project management team on the project I'm on and we got one heck of a laugh out of it because they said, man, this is absolutely true, especially on a government project or a capital project like what we're working on. So the immutable laws of project management, sometimes they're 13, maybe 14. This one list has 15 and this is how I remember the 15. I have no idea who the original author is, but if anyone has an idea, please send me a line and all of these will be on my linkedin page. The jim puzzle, linkedin page. No law is law number one. No major project ever completes on time within budget, the same staff that started it and the project does not do what it is supposed to do. It is highly unlikely that yours will be the first Law number 21, advantage of fuzzy project management or objectives is that they let you avoid embarrassment in estimating the corresponding costs law Number three, the effort required to correct the project that is off course increases geometrically with time Law. Number four. Everyone else understands the project purpose statement you wrote differently. So if you write a project purpose statement, everyone's gonna be understanding it differently. Law number five, Measurable benefits are real, intangible benefits are not measurable. Thus, intangible benefits are not real. And there's a corollary to that. Intangible benefits are real. If you can prove that they are real law. # six, anyone who can work effectively on a project part time does not have enough to do the greater the project's technical complexity. The less you need a technician to management, there's two corollaries to that. Get the best manager you can. The manager will get the technicians and the reverse of what I just said is almost never true. Law eight, a carelessly planned project will take three times longer to complete than expected. A carefully planned project will only take choices. Long Law number nine, when the project is going well, something will go wrong. Law number 10. Project teams to test weekly progress reporting because it's so vividly manifests their lack of Progress Law number 11 projects progress rapidly until they are 90% complete, Then they remain 90% complete forever. Law number 12 if project content is allowed to change freely, the rate of change will exceed the rate of progress Law # 13, if the user does not believe in the system, a parallel system will be developed. Neither system will work very well remember that if you're a safety professional. Well, number 14 benefits achieved are a function of the thoroughness of the post audit check. So in other words, if you have a good audit that's able to explain what you did, then you have benefits. Their job was successful. And number 15, any of the stuff that I just mentioned, none of it is immutable. So that's the 15 laws of project management. The immutable laws of project management. If I find out who it was who wrote this, I'll let you folks know. I thought you have got a little giggle. I got a trip down memory lane here for safety wars. This is your safety training. Old stale. And Hackney is your safety trainer still preaching a warped version of behavior based safety. How about safety training that actually addresses your hazards in your workplace is and it's not standardized bologna from 25 years ago. Contact the safety ward's team at safety words dot com or call jim postal at 845 to 69577. To remember if you're receiving this message. You are the solution to unsafe workplaces. The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the host and its guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the company. Examples of analysis discussed within this podcast are only examples. It should not be utilized in the real world as the only solution available as they are based only on very limited and dated open source information, assumptions made within this analysis are not reflective of the position of the company. No part of this podcast may be reproduced stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means mechanical, electronic recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the creator of the podcast, J. Allen.