@Innermind (on FetLife) said on one of my writings:

> It's always fascinating when someone writes about how awesome their lover is when they are together and just trash them once the relationship ends. Were they dating two different people?

Which inspired me to write about this. I've thought about this quite a bit, and I'd say there is one primary reason for it.

According to Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain by David Eagleman:

> "...[your brain is] made up of an entire parliament of pieces and parts and subsystems. Beyond a collection of local expert systems, we are collections of overlapping, ceaselessly reinvented mechanisms, a group of competing factions. The conscious mind fabricates stories to explain the sometimes inexplicable dynamics of the subsystems inside the brain. It can be disquieting to consider the extent to which all of our actions are driven by hardwired systems, doing what they do best, while we overlay stories about our choices.

It's why we want to lose weight and get healthy while simultaneously skipping a workout and eating ice cream out of the container. Or why we decide to work harder to get ahead in our careers, and find ourselves operating with the same habitual behaviors.

So, knowing that, it's like a battle in our heads between our two selves. Not unlike a political election

Find the transcript for this episode here: https://datingkinky.com/blog/your-ex-dr-jekyll-mr-hyde-actually-its-you-and-them/