Unapologetically BOLD: I'm not sorry for....
Doing unexpected things with Melissa Narvaez
November 30, 2020
Today's guest started her career onboard huge ships that were sometimes anchored miles away from the shore and negotiating prices with captains on a tight budget. Did I mention she climbed up 25 feet on the side of the ship using a pilot ladder? But today she runs a regional marketing for one of the top tech companies in the world. Unexpected right? Join us as we talk with Melissa Narvaez on how she is not sorry for doing the unexpected things in her life.
Today's guest started her career onboard huge ships that were sometimes anchored miles away from the shore and negotiating prices with captains on a tight budget. Did I mention she climbed up 25 feet on the side of the ship using a pilot ladder? But today she runs a regional marketing for one of the top tech companies in the world.

Unexpected right? Join us as we talk with Melissa Narvaez on how she is not sorry for doing the unexpected things in her life.

And the bot is still in the learning phase, so be kind:

[00:00:02] spk_1: this is visited in this show is brought to you by Safety FM. Welcome to unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If you are a person that is tired of apologizing for being you, you know the human part of you that sometimes feels like it has to be different at home versus work versus play, Theo. Human side that just wants to be hot, humble, open and transparent about your wants, desires and uniqueness. If you answered yes, this podcast is for you. Join me, Emily L Rod, as I dive into conversations with Amazing Guest About what you're not sorry for in creative in loving ways. Let's get started. And I am so blessed today tohave Melissa with me. Welcome, Melissa. Thank you for joining us on the show.

[00:00:57] spk_0: No, thank you for having me. I'm very excited. Thio chat with you and and spend some time sharing some of my experience. So thank you.

[00:01:06] spk_1: You're welcome. And you were such a amazing person. The more I get to know you like we click the first time we chatted. It's just like heart to heart like we get each other with. I'm so excited for the audience to hear about you today. So for the people that don't know anything about you, what is like, what would you tell them about Melissa? Like, what should they know about you?

[00:01:30] spk_0: Well, I would say that I am a career coach, a marketer and a badass. I'm a self proclaimed badass who went from working with oil ships in Venezuela to now leading a regional marketing team at a top software company in New York. So my life has been like like we say in in my country, uh, telenovela. My life has been like a soap opera full of stories, unexpected twist like we do not have time to cover all of those today. But believe me, I can I could spend the whole night with you. Eso? Yeah, I am from Venezuela originally, and I've been living in New York for the last two years. Awesome.

[00:02:11] spk_1: And that's what I'm excited for people to hear stories and and connect with them and understanding that our career pass and are just live past Don't always have toe. Look away that we plan as childhood over how people plan it out for us. So with all that Melissa, I'm gonna ask you What are you not sorry for?

[00:02:35] spk_0: I am not sorry for doing unexpected things by challenging I'm so I'm so not sorry for challenging the status quo, challenging anything. That was an expectation that others had of me. Because at the end of the day, I trusted I trusted my gut and it's gotten me where I am. Yes, I would say, Yeah,

[00:03:02] spk_1: what's the story that got you did like this point right here. That's like, Hey, I know that there's a few of them, but what? What would you tell the audience on some of your unexpected things that you look back on your life and we're like, That could have been Or my what? Waas A pivotal point in your story and in

[00:03:23] spk_0: transition. Yeah, totally. I you know, there were obviously like you said, There's many pivotal points, but I think one that was, like, really, uh, transformative for me was when I left. I left my country when I was around 22nd, 22 years old, not to my 2nd 22 years old. And I was I had graduated from high high school and I didn't immediately goto college, so I I chose love instead of reason Back then, you know, I was I was very young and I decided to, you know, live with my boyfriend. And we decided to be adults very early. So I kind of paused school because we needed thio work. You know, full day job, Thio, pay rent and pay food and all of that. So I kind of like, didn't go to school immediately. And I got a lot of, you know, bad rep from my family on that, a lot of like and I totally understand today they were they were freaking out. They were like, What is she doing? She's going away. Her life, whatever. But then, you know, that relationship ended, Andi experience was learned and I decided to leave. I decided to go explore on opportunity in Spain, and again my family was like, What are you doing? Like, why can't you just just go to school like, you know, go to university and like, why is she having to like what? Why you needed to do all these things. And at the end of it, you know, my my grandma was always We always had a very my grandma raised me. My parents passed away when I was a little girl. So she was. I say today she was such a progressive grandma because even though she like challenged me and we would have, like, a lot of arguments at the end of the day, she she supported my decisions. And so she was always supported on that one. But everybody was like, What is she doing? She's going to Spain. No, she's gonna, you know, waste her time and not go to school. You know, all of my friends and my cousins were already going to the university, and I went to Spain, and, you know, I had the intention of going to school there, But I learned, you know, I didn't have, like, my my my papers, like my diploma wasn't like, certified and registered, so I wasn't able to go to school. And that was like, huge. Like it was a big fail for me because I was like, Oh, my God. Like I left my country, I'm here. I like, took the decision. I put all my savings and I'm not going to be able to go to school. And I ended up going to flight attendant school as a way to like, okay, client reason. Something to do here. And my family was like, Okay, you know, Great. Let's see how that goes. You know, at the end of the day, that first big experience, I wasn't able to fly because I was a student. So I needed to get sponsored by an airline, and it was so difficult back then. So I ended up going back home, like like a dog with my tail between my legs. And I felt like such a failure. And, you know, I at that moment I was like, regretting my decisions, you know? But then time, Time is what tells you, right time is the only thing that can tell you the learnings of anything. But if I think back at it today and even years before like when I was like, you know what? I learned so much from this experience because I learned, like, failure is not something that's going to stop me. I actually learned so much. I was in a country that was a different culture. I went through hardships. I grew because I had worked as anything I could find. I worked I worked cleaning houses. I worked as a waitress and you know, a group on that develop certain grit in me on, You know, I was like, Okay, I went to school later, but I learned so much from the school of Life s O. That one was really pivotal for me, I would say,

[00:07:14] spk_1: And I think the things I hear two is I hear resilience. I hear grit and I hear lessons that you learn and how well I'll say sometimes like you, you turn your mess into a message and how it has helped you get to the next level. And that's the one thing that I tell people. I tell my team all the time. It's like fell off often fell fast, but fail safe like all those things were. In essence, they may not felt like it at times, but they were safe, fellas, they were so uncomfortable. Yes, well, I think that's the one thing is the unexpected. Things are uncomfortable things. They are way like our normal. And that's what I love about this time right now, is it is so uncomfortable. And it is everything is unexpected. It's like yesterday which it was really, really unexpected. We had a guy get loose in our area and we had it like I'm in the country like I'm in the South like we don't typically have that many people. But we had about 101 150 police officers trying to get this one. Dude, you know, it's like it's 2020. What's new? You know, like that Z But how much I feel like our past experiences if we see the positivity in it are. And one thing I told my kids yesterday because they were upset because I could we couldn't go home because we were blocked off from the corridor are from the containment area. And the one thing I told him that you can only control yourself. Yeah, and I think that might be something pivotal Pivotal to talk about on this one is with unexpected things the power of knowing you and controlling you. What would you say to that? And what story or what? What time in your life really demonstrated learning those aspect?

[00:09:08] spk_0: Yeah, I think Another another moment in my life. Waas You know I and probably you can relate to that. Teoh. I come from a small town in Venezuela where, you know, people, you know, get married early, and then they start having kids. Then then that's like that. You know, you become, you know, Ah, working housewife. But it's always kind of like, you know, that that same narrative and I was funny because I was, like, the first one to, like, get married when I was young in that first relationship, and then I obviously got divorced, and then I didn't have Children. And when you know, I became, you know, single again and all that. My my friends from school, We're all getting married where they were in the marriage wave, and they started to have babies, and they would always, like, say, like So what are you waiting for? Like Okay, Okay. You're single now, but once you you you know, you next one like, don't don't waste your time like you know, you're you're 20. You're 25. I'm like, Oh, my God. You know, And that was always like something very like it was a recurring theme. A recurring theme, you know? And then I got into a relationship, and then I was with that person for like, two years and it was like So what are you waiting for? Like, you know, you can't like you. And I'm like, Wait, what, like, let me like, I want toe like I want to live. I want to grow professionally like And I remember there was one thing that that struck me so much that one of my friends said and I don't believe And it really it was really like a like I have it. I have it right here. And it was like, you know, a woman will never be complete until they are mothers. And that hurt that hurt because I was like, wow, like So you're one making me feel guilty because I haven't, you know, prioritized having a baby and to you're telling me that I mean complete Likas a human being like, Wow, you know, And that was always kind of like a topic around my my close circle. And at first I was like, um, I doing the right thing, you know, obviously, like, doubting myself because, you know, I am the one who's leading this, right? So if I'm not doing what's expected of me, I'm the owner of my destiny like I'm the architect of my life. So I better really get my stuff together and do what I wanted. What makes me happy? Because it's like I'm leading here, right? So I you know, I think that one and like fast forward today, you know, I don't have kids. I'm you know, I'm super happily married with my my husband and we're trying and I look back and you know what I The decisions that I took and the places that I went back then like, brought me to So where I am today, which is happy, successful, I chose a person I chose a person I want to be with. You know, it wasn't just like, Oh, I'm trying to find a father, you know? And it made me to really make the right decisions because I was making them based on what I wanted and what was making me happy, Not not what others were telling me to do.

[00:12:21] spk_1: And I love it. I think that's a big part. Two is now is what I'm thinking, too, is with this code. But it's made a lot of shift changes and like either our livelihood or with our work. Some people are leaving but the power of choice and it's ours. It is your choice. And I say for some people that this had to happen for you to get kicked out the door of a door that you shouldn't even been in in the first place. Eso the power of that. And with the next step, how did you go about It was unexpected toe others. But it was not for you. I'm assuming you knew you knew in your heart of hearts

[00:13:02] spk_0: I I knew I knew even though because I tend to be like I'm like, always like I'm areas. So I don't know if you if you pay attention to those things I'm like, always, like, leading and like disrupting. I'm like, I'm like, Okay, that's where I'm going and I'm going. And sometimes I'm like, on such like on such like a high of like going, doing, doing leading that when I reflect, it's like I'm already like in the middle of it, you know? So sometimes I'm like a lot of the things I think I've done in my life has been like Theresa from my subconscious has led me. But then, like clicks like a little later on. But I you know, I feel like it's you make a decision right and you have and you stick to your choice, your decision and it's your choice. Like you're saying, you know, I'm like, This is what I want So I'm going to go and do it because you know, I it's one Maybe I want to say I want to prove to the others but it's it's proving myself. It's it's convincing myself that the decision that I made was the right one. So once you believe it, and once you trust yourself and you know that you could do it, it's like green light and I'm you know, and it's like I told you so I don't like to say it, but I was like, I told you so, and I trusted and I feel like a lot of the times we act based on pleasing others and pleasing society and pleasing, you know, norms and and and all of these things. And then we're bitter, you know, and then you convince yourself I did the right thing. That was the right thing, but because you didn't choose it And you didn't do what you really wanted to dio.

[00:14:42] spk_1: Yeah, I think that's so Sochi and what I've seen, especially in professional and some of the work that we do is seeing specifically leaders get into a place and in a space where they didn't even want to be there. But they're still bigger. And, um, why I'm like, if you want me there, I'm pretty sure the people you're leading don't want you to be there, either. Yes. You have a good reputation. Yes, you You may love the people around, but how you care in that that time period really matters. So what would you say to leaders or people that have been stuck in a career for way too long and let life dictate them where they're at compared to let their choices and their personal internal guidance helping in the

[00:15:37] spk_0: matter? Yeah, I think. First of all, you need to You need to have confidence in yourself, right? I feel like fear is like one of the biggest, you know, blockers for for us and for the decisions we make. Um I think it's okay. Like you need to be okay with being afraid of something because it's a human emotion. It's something that, hey, if you don't feel fear, then okay, where what planet are you from and then to is not being afraid of failing. You know, it's like we said at the beginning, like if you leave that job that you hate, that makes you unhappy, you have two choices. And I always tell my friends one you can look at your job, your 9 to 5 job as your 9 to 5 job you, you know, do whatever you need to do, and that's your 9 to 5 job. And then you build on your passion projects in your personal life. So that's like one option, right? And I'm like, Look, if you're too scared to leave or there are things that you like about this, just make sure you're fulfilling your happiness and and, you know, satisfying your passions with something like Don't put all your eggs in the work. The 9 to 5 work basket, right, because that will. It balances things out. You know, you could be good at your job. Maybe not the super happiest, but but you You have things that are like motivating you on the side. Second option is you know, you never know what's on the other side until you go. And I feel like there's that fear of, like, what is out there, You know, this is the only thing, and, you know, I won't find something that is not true. That is not true. You know, that is like the same thing as a relationship like no, like there. There's something better out there and you just have the You just have to have the, you know, the, um you know, the guts thio to go and and and try it. So, um, it's, you know, be okay with being afraid and be okay with failing, like as long as you get up like you can feel as many times as you want, right?

[00:17:37] spk_1: And I think that's the big part right there is the getting up getting back up. It's like it Well, it's the resilience. It's not just how you bounce back up its bounce that better, and that you have the face and the growth. And again, why unexpected things and help, especially in your in the hiring process for leaders to or if you're looking at sometimes you might see people that have unique experiences. Like I'll say, even my spouse is so different than how I am. Like we have two different unexpected trajectories of how life is went. So it's no matter where, as long as you're a human like expect the unexpected because it's like it's going to come. But yet again, back to the thing of the fear that you talked about earlier that I think is true with the part that fear brings awareness. Yeah, and that that's what is natural tendency is to bring awareness. Fear can actually allow you to bring care and connect, especially right now. There's a lot of things with co vid or some other the social justice issues that are happened. People are connecting over. Ah, common fear. Common enemy might say whatever, but there are ways that we can come and kind of the unexpected still have some expectations. We're going to show up Thio. Yeah, I have to deal with it.

[00:18:59] spk_0: Yeah, yeah, just like you're you're like, quick on your feet. It's like when you're like when you embrace the unexpected That means you're like, quick on your feet you pivot quickly You know you're like, it's not not, be, like on guard, but it's like you bounce back in a positive way, right? You're, like prepared because it's like life is not a script. You know, I have so many conversations with so many friends and they'll be like, you know, in a bad situation they'll get like So Debbie Downer And I'm like, Okay, you know what that happens. Stuff happens. That's it. Like, don't dwell on the moment, Don't you know? Okay, like, what's next? And I think, like one of the things like when, you know, in my in my life and in doing everything opposite of what people expected of me, in a way, kind of like, make them be like, How the heck did she do that? You know, and she, like, just got past that. And they always tell me like, wow, like you were going through this, and now you're like doing this and you bounce back. And I'm like, because it's like I'm kind of like I'm owning not only my destiny, but I'm owning my choices. And you have some sort of that. You decide, right? You decided when you decide how you want to approach this. You decide how you want approach a pandemic like Do you wanna hide under the table and cry until you wake up or do you want to adapt? That's another big one. Adaptability, right?

[00:20:27] spk_1: And I think that's huge to in the aspect of again overcoming because our mindset matters, I think more than anything and a the ability to grow with, like, just example unexpected. I love that this is the type of my kids. I had to put it on mute for a second. I'm just like because they brought in the dogs to my dog. Just lost just two in the middle of the show. I can't do anything about it. You adapt and you keep going. Keep going with it, you know, because life is gonna throw you things like a child always does like and a dog, apparently to no, but it is so true. Like I can't predict I can't predict the future. Nobody can. But again, it is going into unexpected things will happen. But owning yourself and I think that's one thing that you talked about is owning yourself and owning what I'm big on is owning my physiology, so I don't allow others to do that because I did that for so long by living away, that was the expected brow. So we do have one question from Dana. I love this lady. She goes Are you a middle child as well as

[00:21:43] spk_0: an E? Actually, I'm in on Lee Child Simon on Lee Child. But I have, like, 20 cousins, so yeah, my parents passed away when I was a little girl, so I didn't get siblings and I moved with my family. And, yeah, all of my cousins lived up in the same city and they were, like, 20. So, you know, starting 10 years old, I was like, surrounded by a lot of it all the time. So basically, yeah, e could be a middle child. I'm

[00:22:16] spk_1: a middle kid, too, So, Well, I'm a twin, so I don't have the counts, but I have a middle e, which makes the thing that also the thing that comparing so as a twin, I always compare o e. I think there's something to that. The expectations of what we've been compared, thio our whole life, like your life should it was an essence compared to what another another cousin did or what the family perceived it. What you did to Dio and I think that might be something to that will kind of in on our note on is the comparison curse and how that effects doing unexpected things and getting

[00:22:56] spk_0: uncomfortable so much. Yeah, I yes, the comparison card was it was very painful, especially like being, you know, being the Yeah, the orphan child in my family. There was an extra attention on on me of like, you know, it was kind of like obsessive, but then it was like it was, like, nice sometimes and then it was obsessively uncomfortable and others. So it was like everybody was like, alert of anything that I did. That's why late, like they were when I would do one of these unexpected things like start working with oil cargo ships. You know, being 23 which men going, you know, on these huge tankers with crew of 50 men who've been at sea for six months, you know, talk about a male dominated, male dominated industry. My family was like, What is she doing? You know, and they were like, Oh, you know, money. I don't want like my my princesses, My other daughters are not going to do that. That's not the kind of thing they do. That's kind of thing Melissa does. So it became like the Melissa label. So it's like anything that was like out of the ordinary, you know, bold, risky. It was the Melissa thing, you know? And it was negative. Back then. It was like, Oh, they're gonna go with Melissa. You're gonna go like, you know, um, travel somewhere in a country that, you know, you don't know or whatever. And now it's now it's the It's a good label. So now the Melissa label became a positive label. Now it's like, Oh, let's reference Melissa.

[00:24:43] spk_1: Well, you flip the script in essence, you their expectations, and it was okay, I'll say, that's a lot that has happened with me as well. Um, I'm an outdoorsy person. I love to ride motorcycles. I love to dio hunter like fish like, and it's like you don't you're a cheerleader. You can't do those things we got. I can. Just because I'm a female does not mean I can't do things. And I think that's one Thio I know That's one thing that we can also get nerdy about is women empowerment. We will go there. So final question for you. Because again, I love you. You're so awesome. If there is people apologizing for doing unexpected things, what invitation of advice would you give them for the future?

[00:25:31] spk_0: Right, I would say, Trust your gut. Nobody. Nobody knows what's best for you better than you. So you have to trust yourself. And second, we need more authentic people who do bold, unexpected things. We gotta end with a cookie cutter things. So be riel. Riel as being human is cool today. So expect your guts.

[00:26:00] spk_1: Yes, I agree. Amen to that. Thank you so much. I am so blessed to have you on. And I'm blessed for all they have listened. I hope you all have an amazing and blessed day. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If this touch shoot anyway, please, like and subscribe and share with your friends as we continue the message of being unapologetically bold. Bobby and hot humans who are humble, open and transparent. See you next time