How many friends can we have?
The Six Percent Entrepreneur
How many friends can we have?
March 16, 2021
In this episode we discuss why it's important to be aware of the closest people that surround you.
What do you think? Do you think that we can only have a limited number of friends in our heads? So I'm asking this question because I'm thinking about empathy and empathy is a funny thing. I have some people that have told me that I seem extremely empathetic, and then I've had other people that tell me that I don't seem empathetic at all. And what I started to realize is I think it depends on who the person is for people that I believe are in my tribe. I am super empathetic like I am nurturing. And if you ask people on my team, for example, they will tell you that, Yes, Robin is very patient and nurturing. However, if you're not in my tribe, I probably don't give a fuck. 

And I'm just not thinking about because there's other things that I need to think about. So it's a little bit difficult to show that empathy. And I think it's really because of just time constraints. If I were to start acting empathetic towards people, I didn't know, then it would probably take a lot of energy from me because then I would try to think about how I can help these people, etcetera. So I just focus on my tribe. 

There's actually a scientist. His name is Robin Dunbar and Robin Dunbar says you can only have 150 friends around 150 friends. These are the amount of people that you can hold in your head and show compassion for this is our cognitive limitation. The way that he came up with this number is he looked at the social networks of primates, and he found a correlation between the brain size of the primate and the number of friends that the primate had. And extrapolating from that, he was able to extrapolate that humans could generally hold around 150 friends. So this is called Robin Dunbar's number. So what does this mean? This means that if we can only hold around 150 people in our head, then all these friends that we're picking and collecting on Facebook and Facebook groups might have, you know, 6000 friends or Twitter, Instagram, etcetera. In real life, every time you add a friend, you are likely also dropping a friend. It's really difficult to split your focus among all these different people and this is normal, right? As you move on, your interest change. You get new friends and you also drop interest and you lose those friends as well. 

I think the main takeaway for me is if I can only hold 150 people in my head and these people are my tribe. I want to make sure that the people that I select are the best 150 people for me in this world. I want to make sure that I am surrounding myself with a team and a family and people that are going to be great for my development and where I think we can have a good community. If I were to start focusing on people in a job I don't like, and I'm with people that don't like. Then you are using one of those slots, one of those ones out of 150 slots on the wrong people. So I think getting the right people is so important and this is so important when you are building a business because if you are building a business with for people that you don't like for customers you don't like. Your business will not be sustainable because if you don't like your customers, you are not going to like your business. I'll see you guys in the next episode. 

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