I don’t want to move on from this grief just yet. All around me I hear the clamor of advocates demanding some action and I, too, want action, but I don’t want it just so I can avoid sitting with this grief. Our cup of meaning, the cup from which we drink our lives, has been broken. It is a mended cup so we knew that it has been broken in the past and we have healed. But today I want to hold the brokenness in my hands and not rush away from it. I want to stare at it directly with open eyes. This beloved world has been shattered. I want to see the faces and know the names of those beautiful beings who died this week in Orlando. I want to sit and witness what has been lost.

We will act. Of this I am sure, but today let us just grieve. Let us feel the sadness, the sorrow, the betrayal. Let us hold the brokenness in our fingers, running our touch over the rough edges, bringing home how much it is worth to us. We will mend and engage once more in our call to love the hell out of this world where arms stretch out to embrace one another, where the tears of rejection are wiped away by nurturing hands. But today I grieve, today I witness, today I am just sad.