Yep, the title is correct. Mick Carbo
is not sorry for being a convicted felon.
Wait, Mick is a felon? Yes, the blue-collar, down to earth business coach has a rap sheet.
Being a felon isn't typically something you put on broadcast as the negative associations that come with it but in this episode, Mick is joining Emily Elrod to discuss why he is not sorry for being a convicted felon and the lessons learned from it.
PS Please no judgment for this amazing (and time-saving transcription bot)
[00:00:02] spk_0: this is visited in this show is brought to you by Safety FM. Welcome to unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for if you are a person that is tired of apologizing for being you, you know, the human part of you that sometimes feels like it has to be different at home versus work versus play. The human side that just wants to be hot, humble, open and transparent about your wants, desires and uniqueness. If you answered yes, this podcast is for you. Join me, Emily Elrod as I dive into conversations with Amazing Guest about what you're not sorry for and creative in loving ways. Let's get started today. I'm excited to have my guest Nick Harbor with me. Mick, thank you so much for joining me today.
[00:00:56] spk_1: Uh, absolutely. My pleasure. Emily. Thank you so much for having me.
[00:01:01] spk_0: Let's just go ahead and dive into it, Mick, tell us just a little bit about yourself.
[00:01:06] spk_1: Oh, wow. I'll try to keep a very long story as short as possible here because I know we have. Ah, we have a timeline. But basically, when I was a kid, I knew I wanted three things I wanted to be married and have a wife and have and have Children and then have our own business. So, uh, I am really pumped and proud to say that I have everything that I want and the journey has been quite an adventure to get here. Uh, but yeah, zone amazing life. It really is.
[00:01:37] spk_0: And I think that when lead into what you're not sorry for And what is one of the boldest statements I've had, I think on this show yet. So tell people what you're not sorry for.
[00:01:49] spk_1: Yeah, I'm not sorry for being a convicted felon.
[00:01:52] spk_0: The first time I mentioned like there's no way like he is the like, most down to earth. The kind is that you know, you have these stereotypes with convicted felons. So tell me more about that process and what got you to no longer being sorry for it.
[00:02:09] spk_1: Well, like I like I mentioned with a little bit about me, I I wanted all three of those things. And in retrospect, it probably wasn't the smartest thing Thio have. All three of those things happened right after high school, but nonetheless, that's what happened. Me and my wife got married Three months after we graduated high school, we started having a family. We started our own business, which was flooring contracting business. So we installed ceramic tile and marble. It was a great business. But after the first couple of years, I couldn't cut it like I was. I was You know, I'm sure you weren't like this. And not none of your listeners were like this. But I was kind of an arrogant, you know, A little bit of a know it all. At 18 years old, I thought I thought I could handle everything on my own and knew how to do everything. But I couldn't cut it. And one day, actually, I was I was looking at my little baby boy, my first born playing on it with his toys on the floor, and the house went dark. The electric company cut off our electricity, and it was it was going in the wintertime. So it was dark in the house and it was starting to be cold. And, you know, I took a look around and being that, you know, kind of arrogant know it all that I was back then I said to myself, This is never gonna happen again. So I picked up the phone and I made a few calls and started selling weed. And at first it Waas, you know, let me just make a couple 100 bucks a month to cover the electricity bill. But me being the entrepreneurial type of person that I am, uh, it spiraled into somewhat of an empire over the course of a few years and literally was selling tons of weed at one point. And, you know, there's there's really there's not a lot of options that are possible when you're doing something like that, that's illegal, right? Like you. Either you get hurt, you get stolen from, or you get arrested and go to jail. And that's what happened to me after about, I want to say, seven or eight years of selling drugs. I I got arrested in October 2007 and, uh, it was it was kind of devastating.
[00:04:22] spk_0: And how did that impact your life going forward? Because now you're here where you are today. How do you say what has been the positives from it, and then what's been the negatives from it?
[00:04:35] spk_1: Well, I can tell you that you know, we'll start with the negatives. First. Let's end on a positive note. Uh, back then, you might imagine eso at that point, I had three kids, okay? My my wife and three kids. We owned a home. We have these two businesses at the point. The title business was actually doing really, really well to after I had built it up over the course of a few years. And, you know, I'm making all this money selling weed, right, and you lose everything right? And I'm the I'm I'm the man of the house, and I related to myself as the person who is responsible for providing for my family. And I couldn't anymore. So you might imagine that I felt, you know, pretty horrible about myself. I was I was super depressed. I was calling myself every name, every horrible name you could think of. You know, I felt like the biggest loser on the planet, you know, like, really, really hard on myself. I also, you know, I hold myself to a really high bar. So if if I'm not hitting that bar, then I make it mean that I'm you know I'm a loser. You know, Like I said, eso is really depressing. It was really bad like that for a really long time to several years on. But it was like it put me in It put me in hustle mode, right? Like I had. I had to get back to where I waas in order to feel good about myself. And that's really that's not a great place to be, you know, measuring your worth against the results that you produce in the world. And and that's That's where I was at. You know, I couldn't do my child business anymore because I was subbing through a lot of the big box stores like Home Depot and Lowe's. And um, you have to you have to be able to pass a background check in order to be able to go into people's homes and do work. And I couldn't anymore. So, um, so here I am like, uh, lost my house, lost both of these businesses and had to move my wife and three kids into my mother's basement, right? So it was like a grind tryingto make money, but also trying to feel good about myself. You know, Andi, I was still in that phase where I didn't really wanna I didn't want to talk about it to anybody because e felt so bad about it. And I didn't want anybody else knowing anything about anything about me that's gonna make me look as horrible as I feel, right. That's you know that's normal, right? It's not weird, but but it didn't help any, Right? But eso at the time, you know, I didn't Like I said everything that I could do Thio learn and and help myself. So I read everything that I could get my hands on, You know, any anything, self help or personal development. I picked it up and read it or listen to it, you know, and started listening to podcasts and going to seminars and things like that. And Andi, you know, started figuring out what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Right? So, uh, on on one hand, a time, it felt like it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But looking back, it was really the best thing that ever happened to me, right? It it really You know, losing everything like that really catalyzed me Thio to dive headfirst into personal development and like this really cool journey of transformation, you know? So I started listening to mentors and seeking out coaches. And, you know, we started making some money again, and I hired my first coach, and that made like a really huge difference for me. And that really led me to where I am now.
[00:08:15] spk_0: I love that. And the things I hear on that, too is that how you made your mess into a message and how you've grown from that. Because a lot of the times people, let's think right now right now is a mess for a lot of people. Um, cove it and just It's like consistent failures that seem to be happening or unpredictability. What would you say to people that are in a mess right now? What would advice or what would you invite them thio for just getting over that hump? I guess
[00:08:48] spk_1: I would, I would say, Lean into it, you know, like actually, actually. So to me, failure is the is the stepping stone to success, right? Like there's, um, there's really no failure or no mistaking. If we find something toe, learn from it if we actually look for the value in it. If we look for the gold in it and that's what I mean by leaning into it, it feels really bad. Eso I would I would also say like, look, look, to actually experience the whole experience, feel the feelings, don't try and distract yourself from it and and and actually be willing to be vulnerable and seek help. You know, there are Look, the one of the biggest gifts of this for me was learning that I didn't know everything and then going on this kind of mission to really find out what I didn't know and that took me being willing to be vulnerable and me being willing Thio, you know, be like create intimate relationships with other people that, you know, that could really help me. Eso that. That's what I would say, like, you know, kind of change your mindset around it. Look at this as a non opportunity. Instead of a problem. Be be willing to toe actually, uh, step into it and and find the people that can really, really help you out because there's there's really smart people out there on this doesn't mean anything about you is just, ah, thing that happens.
[00:10:19] spk_0: Mhm. And that's the point to is not self identifying with it. That is some things that I see a lot of people do whenever they deal with struggles that they bring it into their identity and then they take it on for life. Always talk about the example of May and I had my child out of wedlock and it ruined all my plans, you know? But what it actually did, is it. Actually, it was it was what propelled me to where I needed to be and how it helped me. So some people are listening to this and there one thought, maybe like, how is this gonna be relevant to me? And how can I help with this? Or how could this help me to be better? I'm not a convicted felon. I really haven't messed up huge quote unquote. But I can see things that I need to address what was like your top tips that you wouldn't say it to anybody no matter where you're at Thio addressing your quote unquote failure.
[00:11:17] spk_1: Mhm. Well, I would say that there's there's really like it, doesn't it doesn't matter the size of it. You know, like what? Especially the size of it. That the way that it looks on the outside Because, really, what's going on inside is the is the is the most impactful or, uh, I don't know another word to say for it, but then it's like it's like pungent right, it's impactful. And, um is the thing that really holds us back. Like, you know, I I say this to people. Like when I met you, right? I told you this story and you're like, Oh, well, that's actually really that's that's amazing, Like you've done all this amazing stuff as a result of this happening for you. But for me, over here, it felt so bad, you know? And I went out and I was hiding this from people for so long, which makes me show up in authentic and, you know, I'm just coming from fear instead of coming from what's possible for me. So I would say that you know, it doesn't It doesn't matter what the size of the obstacle is or the size of the failure. It matters how much a person is actually holding on themselves over here, right? So So I would say that people really need to just open up and start sharing about that stuff and, you know, by by sharing we get the we got the outside perspective reflected back to us, and that's how we learn. Otherwise, we're just, you know, we're in that comfort zone, right of the familiar thoughts and feelings and interpretations that we have over here and that just really gets in the way. So I would I would just challenge people toe skip over all of that crap that I went through and just, you know, let it out.
[00:12:59] spk_0: I mean, that's one thing that the reason why I have this show, too, is because the unapologetically bold because we're human at home work and play. But sometimes it feels like a versus against each other that that you can't be yourself and you have to hide this, especially in the hiring process. Pretty big, big felt like, Oh, I can't And I had somebody talk to me that she was fired, and she's like, I can't tell anybody was fired. I'm like, there's so much shame with that. I'm like, Well, you didn't do anything wrong you know, But even if you had something that did you learn from it. So talk more about the importance and how it has helped you in your work life being what we say is ah, hot, human, humble, open and transparent and talking about ourselves.
[00:13:44] spk_1: Wow. Well, my my job is really to support people through whatever challenges air getting in their way, thio creating what they want in their businesses. So we're we do business coaching, leadership, development and culture development with blue collar businesses. So your construction companies, automotive companies, manufacturing logistics, things like that, right? And the the thing about it is is like people, uh, people come to me with their with their with their fears and their concerns and all of these things that they're, you know, that are blocking them from being successful. So the challenge for me is like, you know, my own personal challenge. Nobody can tell me anything like nobody can. Nobody can come to me and say, Hey, Mick, like this, this thing is in my way, and it means that I can't be successful because I've worked through some of the most difficulty things that there are toe work through. You know, the interpersonal, you know, like self loathing and stuff like that and the like, literally, you know, not being able to go and do my business because of this thing. Like it's on. Nobody has to know sometimes if somebody got fired, right? But this is on my record, you know, like, look me up like they're gonna find out about this, right? So, you know, that's what it is for me. It's like I get I get to really stand for people to own their worth and, like, work through the work through their own challenges, because I've had to do my own work and I've had to work through my own challenges. So if it's possible for me, it's possible for anyone. But
[00:15:26] spk_0: e. I think the big part is you're not your mistakes. You are valuable. You do have worth on how many times that what's in our head can really control us more than what even our environment. Because I will say for me, um, on my my situation, most of times it was me telling myself I wasn't worthy enough, and everybody's like, Oh, it's fine, like you, you've overcome this but sometimes those ghosts from the past and can kick back up. So what would you tell somebody that like they've been doing great. And then all of a sudden, sudden, something like this happens. Like Kobe. It happens right now. And other failure, it feels like, What would you say to them on reviewing their past and using it as a kind of like a measuring point, but not toe hold onto it? That makes
[00:16:23] spk_1: well the thing that I would help a person with around that is like is really finding out who they are, like taking a look at who they inherently are as a as a human being, because that doesn't have anything to do with the past. And it doesn't have anything to do with the future, right? Because like somebody like you were, I who our work is toe really make a difference for people and to help other people. If we if we like, reflect that person's greatness back to them, if we tell them how great they are, how awesome they are if we acknowledge them well, as long as they believe that there ah, loser or a failure or whatever the negative comment that they that they have on themselves. It's like it's like throwing all of that recognition and love into a black hole, right? So a person really needs to get clear on what what it is the what is the story that they're really holding on themselves, like, What are they making that mistake mean is what I'm keep hearing you say on. They've got to really shift that story, and that's what I would help them with. It's not about. It's not about me telling them how awesome they are, because that's just not gonna work. You know, it might help. And I'm not saying that I wouldn't do that. I certainly would. But I would. I would work with that person to help them learn how to actually get clear on who they really are and acknowledge themselves for it.
[00:17:51] spk_0: Yeah, and what I hear from that it's not about the wise, more about the what and that what is you and focusing on you and who you are and who you identify yourself up with and your goals and your aspirations. But it always goes back for me to love others. You have to love yourself first
[00:18:08] spk_1: 100% and we and we can't We can only love others as much as we love ourselves, right?
[00:18:13] spk_0: Yes. And if you're self loathing and if you do not like yourself, it's it's going thio. It may not show up, but it will if that makes sense. You're stopping your prefer your progression in life that you can have. So I do have a comment from the audience and I love this sweet lady. Respond. She said you are a huge inspiration. Do you share your stories with others in prison? She is, uh she is with Chattanooga CPD. So she's with the police department as our local area. So amazing, amazing woman. But I could see where your story could help balance that. Do you?
[00:18:53] spk_1: Uh, not yet. But I am working with a guy who has a huge commitment to making a difference for for current convicts and also, you know, exp Wow, I guess, Yeah. Ex cons like people, people who are currently in prison and people who used to be in prison. He's actually a client of mine right now, and we're working together on something that we can we can work on together as a project in that arena. So, uh, not yet is the short answer, and it's it's to come. Additionally, my I think I mentioned this to you, Emily, when we when we first met a couple of months ago that I'm also launching a podcast on the podcast is called Tragedy to Triumph on. Basically, you know, one of the one of the things that I think is is so one of the biggest problems for people in prisons and also for for people and like even in the construction industry, right? Not everybody knows this, but there's the highest rate of suicide and construction than any other industry. That's why my soul is on fire to do the work that I do with those people. And so the idea for this podcast is to share stories of vulnerability like this, right to really, and this might sound weird, but to really make vulnerability cool for the blue collar worker and for people who are locked up in prison, right, there's, uh, you know, a lot of a lot of a lot of people that are certainly there's white collar crime, right, But ah, lot of a lot of blue collar type folks. They, you know, they might wind up in prison rights. And I think that the reason why some of the people aren't getting the help that they need is because of an unwillingness to be vulnerable. So I think sharing stories like this about what you know, what the what are issues are what our inner demons are in the process of what it took to really work through that and the willingness to share it and get support is gonna really help a whole lot of people.
[00:20:59] spk_0: I agree. And I think the one thing I here to which I love your vulnerability is getting past that. This is a soft thing. So this is like your it puts an ego on you or it puts some some stigma, like the Scarlet letter if you talk about it. But in actuality, it helps others. It's so amazing that you're coming up and being authentic and vulnerable about something that a lot of people would be like. I can't talk about because you're the first person I've had that has been open about it. But I know there, but we know a lot of people that have been through it and have overpayment, but they still don't tell their story. Why do you? Why do you think that is? I know that you talked about how we want to get to the cool but isn't
[00:21:50] spk_1: a huge risk. I'll tell I'll be straight up like I'm I've lost business because of this, you know? And I You know, I tried, uh I was I was joining a networking group one time, and I was like, Look, I'm going to start talking telling my story out loud in the world like and on stages and on social media. And I want you all to know and it z interesting because, like, I you know, I didn't I didn't get business there, right? I said I share this story on my website publicly for a few years, and I had a had a potential client called me up, and he was like, Hey, why should I hire you if you if you had this happened in your life, I don't know if I want to be associated with somebody like that. And I tell you, I I told him why I share my story out loud. like that and made a good case for him to still work with me. And he turned me down like he came to me and then he ended up not going with my service because of it. So it's a risk. That's why people don't share like it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good for me right now. I'm like, you know what if what if so we got some positive comments here, which is great. And I'm sure that there are some people out there that aren't thinking so positively about this and what I What I have learned is that that's okay. Like everybody is gonna have their opinion about it. And I'm okay with that because I'm okay with me. And I know that, like, I know deep in my heart that by me sharing this story, it's gonna change lives, you know? So I'm not I'm willing tohave. The naysayers say whatever they want to say and feel whatever they want to feel. Because my you know, like I said, my soul is on fire and I'm on a mission.
[00:23:34] spk_0: Oh, I love this. He was such an amazing person. Thio in this a zai end all of these. One question and a follow up question is one. What would you tell anybody that keeps Apollo glazing for being a convicted felon?
[00:23:50] spk_1: Well, the first thing that came up to me is stop it. But, you know, that's a little simple. So I would say, I would say, actually find find the gold in it, right? Like I've always wanted to share this story. But then there was a time when I just couldn't I couldn't clearly see why I would. So I had to find that right. And to me, I found a way that I could really make a difference by sharing this story with the work that I dio. Right? So that takes that takes a little bit of, you know, getting clear and and maybe getting a little support. But, you know, find find why share the message and then share it because it z really can make a difference.
[00:24:32] spk_0: I love it. And then, if anybody wants to reach out to you, please let us know how they can contact you.
[00:24:39] spk_1: Yeah. Thank you. So my website is carbo coaching dot com, so carbo like carbohydrate, without the hydrate and the word coaching dot com on I'm on LinkedIn. Lincoln is my favorite platform to use for for connecting with people on social media. You can also find me on Facebook, and you can find me on instagram. Although I kind of don't know how to use Instagram. So you, Emily, you might have to teach me that, but but yeah, reach out. I'd love to talk to anybody about, uh you know how I might be able to help them or or how I can help them get really clear on why they would share their story
[00:25:15] spk_0: too. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of unapologetically Bold. I'm not sorry for If this touch shoot anyway, please like and subscribe and share with your friends as we continue the message of being unapologetically bold, Bobby and hot humans who are humble, open and transparent. See you next time