Episode 51 : How To Focus On Your Success, Not Failures
January 29, 2024
Join me in this episode as I discuss suggestions for looking at goals every day to stay focused and think about small steps towards reaching them.
What is going on Periscope replay viewers really for the web and Twitter. I'm Michele Heyward. Be sure you share this out. Be sure you heart this up. What's up shelling? Okay, I need to share this out, because we are going to talk about goals. We are so focused on on making sure. Thanks, Daria. Thanks. I mean, Shelley for sharing this out. So, we are going to talk about how do you stay focused on your goals? Hey, Lala, instead of your obstacles? And what does that look like every day? And is that reasonable for you to do? And I absolutely think it is. So let's jump in on how do you stay focused on your goals and natural obstacles? Number one, look at your goals every single day. And some of you like Michelle, what's that? What else? Michelle? There was like, Michelle, what do you mean, looking at my goals every day girl, I can look at my goals every day. Yeah, you really can. When you look at your goals every day, you are starting to automatically think about how you aren't going to reach that goal in those small steps, small actions that we talked about earlier this year. So if you miss that live stream, if you miss that scope, you got to go back and and I may have done an under hashtag goal. Gold digger or go get go getter, one of the two but you can scroll here is probably is a ways down. So let's just say that. But you this is what I suggest you do. So these are some of my bigger posts. It's the I like the big sheets. But literally take your goals, put them on, post it and put them on your bathroom mirror, especially if you have like one of the big ones. That's like five feet by four feet. You know, bidness is the 80s Whatever. If you have one of those, put it on your mirror. If not put it on your dresser, bureau. Mirror, something some mirror or glass that you look at every single day. Because of what happens while you're brushing your teeth. You're washing your face you putting on or taking, putting on your makeup. You're like, Oh my God, I need to get my eyebrows done. Right? You are seeing your goals. And I can tell you I haven't done this on the mirror in a while. But I used to have one in my last apartment that said to build well, for at least three generations of my family. Yes, I want it to Bill Well, for at least three generations and my family. I didn't say how it's going to do it. But that was that is one of my goals. So you like but Michelle, how do you do it is not something that's going to happen overnight. It is not something that's going to happen in a week it is going to take me my lifetime to get that done. So I'm very intentional with how much time I will spend here with you ladies and gents on leaning on the everlasting arm. I will spin on social on Periscoping because unless it helps me Creek ate well for at least three generations. I got a backup say, deuces. I got things to do that is going to help me do that. But I looked at those goals every single day. Just like what Michelle would if I have a plumber come in and do work. What should the farmer go learn something the plumber don't learn to put his goals up on his mirror to her mirror. That's what a plumber go learn the plumber or how focused and determined you are about your goals because you look at them every single day. And they go home that you put a bill up on that mirror. So you you you determined to pay the bill on time. I'm just saying best go in life takes time. Yes, absolutely. It absolutely does. Okay, so number one, put your goals so place you will see them every day. So right now I have them in my office. All my quarterly goals are actually my quarterly goals on a big post and in a wall next to my desk across from my desk on the opposite wall are my annual goals. So I literally when I write up my quarterly goals, I am looking across the room at my annual goals and moving things around and knowing what to write out. Yeah, I'm Matt Adel, but if you want to learn it, I can teach you how to do it, but I don't do it for free. You know why? Because if you're serious about it, I'm serious about helping you get there. and it's a whole process that I go through in goal achievement. So trust me, it works. But you have to be committed, you have to find that accountability. persons or persons. I have three accountability groups that absolutely don't. I've been on to zooms this weekend, trying to get stuff together. I might have been on to Facebook calls, helping people get off the ledge. So we help each other reach our goals and stay focus, right? Yeah, I don't play. Right it. If you want somebody to play with, if you want a grown up, I can give you your mom, my mama number. She had a daycare for over 30 years, but she won't charge you because she don't play for free. She had to pay for that played out she had to pay for those puzzles. But she had played for a fee. I'm just saying Okay. Number two, when you're looking at your goals, so this is the topic, everybody. I'm going to put it in the chat just in case you missed it. Stay in focus on your goals instead of focusing on your obstacles. And this actually came from Noel's garden, who is Shelly Moyes, who was actually one of my accountability partners. And he I haven't been to one of my accountability meetings for like two months, and they like, yeah, we know you're not coming. I've just been traveling, I've just been busy, but I will be there this week. I'm going to go make it y'all. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. Okay, so number two. How do you not you're like Michelle, but there are obstacles. How do I not focus on these obstacles? Okay, write your obstacles down. And for every one of your for every one of your obstacles, right there how you overcome it? You like Michelle? That will make no sense. Okay, let me let me see, let's talk. So your brain homepage between you and your spouse is $3,000 a month. The bills in your house are $3,500 a month. You trying to figure out what you're gonna get 500 extra dollars from or you need to figure out how you can cut 500 Extra $500 out of your expenses. You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna start tracking how often you eat out. Is that really a necessary trip to go back and go to every Happy Hour on Tuesday, Taco Tuesday, wine down Wednesday, Thursday, Thursday. Y'all need me every half hour because every happy hour, I'm gonna be happy when you can't pay your bills. So you sit there you look at what are the obstacles keeping you from paying your bills, right? And you're like, I gotta be a grown up. Go get that fight all about all one, right? Instead of spin. If I had all the glass and the place, just, I just say my friend over there. She she'd die laughing it'd be like, you know, you're over there. Right? So but you have to almost I'm gonna use another word. You have to adult? Yes. So write down your obstacles, at least one obstacle for every one of your goals that you foresee. So if you don't see an obstacle for a goal, don't write anything down. If you see an obstacle for a goal, write it down and write how you can overcome it like Michelle, I don't want to build build this billion dollar business, but I need a million dollars. Okay, but how do we get a million dollars revenue, go out and sell something for $5 $10. So you could start by selling stuff that you need to have, you know, using your house stuff in your closet to still have tags on it. Matter of fact, how old is your car? Have you Uber to lift lately? I'm just saying hey, Alan. That's what you need to figure out. You need to figure out what our obstacle is. And what is the most immediate action you can take to overcome that obstacle. And most of the time, the obstacles are really easy. Every now and again, it will take something huge and monumental to move ahead of that obstacle. That is number two. So number one, you need to look at your goals every single day. Number two, hey, Joanne. Hey, Dr. Tammy. Number two, you want to look at you want to look at and understand what your obstacles are and how to overcome and right now how to overcome one obstacle for each of your goals if you have obstacle for those goals for that goal, okay. This is what I am horrible at. I'm so bad at this. Y'all. I am the worst at this Yes, if you have not invited your followers, go ahead and invite your followers. Number three, celebrate your wins.
Okay, now like Michelle, how can you not celebrate your wins? Because as a woman we are taught not to be boastful. We're taught to be modest. That's not very lady like To hell with that. I'm the boss. I did that. You say that you said it was built over there I did that would pop pop your callers ladies. Oh, net. Oh net. Hey, Nina, thanks for invite your false Oh, net. I have to learn not just you, but I have to learn to celebrate my wins. And when I celebrate, I need not go get food. That's the second thing I need to do. I need to celebrate my wins in another way than food and shopping. But at least when I do it, I do do do it for myself. I'm just saying. So be out there and celebrate your wins and let people now so I do little stuff. Like I don't know if any. If you follow me on Instagram, and you look at my stories, yes, up your collar. If you look at my Instagram Stories, you may have seen this really, really tall pop up banner. And that was huge for me to get a banner for my business. I'm in Atlanta right now. And my friend flew in for up from LA to help me be an exhibitor at this conference. It is really, really important for my business to be here, or at least to test it out and see if it's a good fit for me to come in and start marketing my business. Because getting a client y'all is a long game plan. It is not anything short. It is not anything quick. For most of us. It does take time, especially if you're looking at corporate clients. So here in Atlanta again, like Michelle, you'll just stay on Thursday. And I'll be here Sunday through Wednesday. Sunday through Wednesday. Oh yeah, I think I just fixed my page, but now I can't get it to connect. me that's a whole other discussion. Okay. So I So number one, look at your goals every day. Number two. Look at the obstacles for some or all of your goals. And find one way write down one way to overcome that obstacle. What is the quickest and easiest way that you can think of to overcome that obstacle? Because a lot of times the obstacle is really in here. And it doesn't exist most of the time most of the time do we keep ourselves from reaching our goals? Let's be truthful. How many people want to lose weight? How many people had this for dinner? They are not paying me. So let me do this they are not paying me but how many of us are maybe being you had some of this to go with that? I'm just saying that you want to lose weight. So we sabotage ourselves when it comes. So most of the times we are our own obstacle we blame I'm big boned did a bone don't go like this a bone is not easily put. I'm just saying I'm just saying. So really, really own the obstacles how many of them are really more in our mind than they are out in the world? Okay. Number three, hey glam queen. Number three, celebrate your wins. Post them share with your Insta bosses community, share with your paragraphs community, share them with your Periscope community. Share with your heart tribes community share with your Facebook family right share your win. I didn't come know Daraa you did not go with here with your big bone. Okay, share your wins but this is the bonus I have for you this is the bonus. And you're like Michelle what's the bonus? What is your why? Hey Natalie. Natalie isn't a by Natalie must be your favorite person or what is your why? What I say is so my goal. One of my goals I said was to create wealth with last which lasts at least three generations. And my why is I do not believe I do not feel and I do not want my I have nieces and nephews, my great nieces and nephews, and my great great nieces and nephews to continue to having to work. Okay gara continue to have to work a job. What I prefer them to do is work do work, which is fulfilling to them do work, which they are passionate about do work, which impacts the world. And a lot of times for people to feel that way they do not need they do not having to worry about student loan debt, a mortgage, health insurance, all of that is already covered. So remove removing that debt, removing that responsibility may give them hopefully the opportunity to create a life where they're doing so much more than just working a job to pay the bill. working nine to five, just make live in See that's why I don't do karaoke. See. That's why I don't do parodies. So yeah, I got it, right. So that is that that's my bonus. Now, there's like, Michelle, how do you how do you stay focused like some days are better than others? Some days, you will not work on your goals directly. And what you like what does that mean? That means you will take this last. You're gonna take this bottom line, you're gonna pour it, you're gonna sit at cipet and you could just chill and you're gonna be on Periscope, and you're gonna tell jokes about a time I sounded great, though. You're gonna tell jokes about that time. You found this great Groupon to Jamaica. And it said that a resort had no churn. Shuren children or children. For those of y'all who aren't southern or Midwestern. Head you oh my god, this is perfect. And you call your boy you tell like yeah, about he's like, okay, cool. You should definitely go you know, just be careful if you're gonna go because I went alone. I went to Jamaica about myself. I get to the resort. It ya know why I said no children allowed. Because they had a nude beach. Like it was two beaches. It was the clothes beach and the nude beach. Well, guess what? The cloth beach faces the nude beach. And guess who was? Yeah, I had all shades and I sometimes I wear my glasses. I pull it off my che so I couldn't see. Thank you. They were my glasses. I could still see it still I can still see. Even to this day, I can still see hold issues later. It was one of those times I wish I didn't have my context.
So those are the take days you you come out and you really just relax. And you reminisce on things and you celebrate things and you just really look at you do a Netflix and chill with yourself. And you don't answer your phone and you're not on Twitter, you're not on social. And those are the days that you need to really recoup. Those are the days that you need to you can refocus. Those are the days so that you don't burn out. Right. So not every day, not every hour, will you focus on your goals. Girl, nothing could have prepared me for that. I thought like after so many wrinkles, you understood you were not supposed to go in the sun anymore. But obviously that's in my mind. Not everybody's know, nothing can prepare you for that. Least not engineering school. Maybe if I was in a medical space, I nursed to something but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. So take the time. Take the time to relax, relate, release, relax, relate release. And that way you're ready to go back in and really focus on your goals again. You're ready to go back in. And whatever that barrier are a couple barriers that you really, they really aren't in your head. You have to face and overcome. You're ready for them. because you know your why you've looked at your goals, you written down how to overcome at least one way to overcome that obstacle or obstacles. And you've celebrated your wins. So you're like, I've done this before. I can do it again. I'm not done this, but I can do this again because you know what happened? I don't know. I don't know. I'm a guess how many of y'all ride a bicycle have written a bicycle? How many of you like girl the last time I rode a bicycle like 25 years ago. And you looking crazy, right? But if I told you, I need you to ride that bicycle, from this corner of the block to the next corner that block you like it's gonna be rough, but I can do it. You know why? Because you've done it before. So while you may not have achieved this one goal, but you achieved these other five you might Wow cheap five I can do the one it's just a little bit rougher. Because you build up your skill set. The more goals you set, the more goals you work on, the more goals you achieve, so it works out. Yes, resiliency. I got the crew over there she like her. It's called resilience. I'm the English one you to math, one C is teamwork. Work is teamwork up in this condo tonight. So all right. So what are we going to do? It is is coming up on Monday bicycles that I have loved. You know what it is about bicycles. They teach us how to ride bicycles. They should teach us how to fall and there's a difference. So teaching you how to ride a bicycle, they're focused on you not instead of saying okay, when you feel yourself going to the right side, move your foot to catch yourself. When you feel yourself leaning to the left side, pull your core and suck your stomach in and try to balance and try to really focus on this. It says that they get freaked out and because they freak out, you freak out don't get the neighbor's car. Learn how to ride in the street. Right off this hill I'm having flashbacks of learning how to ride my yellow son duster as a kid. But I watched my now nine and a half year old nephew teach himself how to ride a bicycle. And you know why he taught how he taught himself to ride like 30 minutes or an hour because nobody was out there screaming at him. Nobody was telling him he was just like I felt like I was gonna fall so I put my foot down I didn't know how to fall if I fall over Flass See, I cannot do that. Karen is your name Karen did I get it right or am I wrong? So you gotta be cracking out too I already know how to fall Oh y'all I failed the other day the reason why I was in Atlanta I did not step both feet down like my left foot did not went like so it was a step down and my foot went like that and I fell
in a parking garage that wasn't a bad part. The bad part was two people in there you fall up there see Karen we don't have to talk we don't have the top no care we don't have the top I know where you hang out you take you hang out with two well why now is it yeah because I know how to well do so so yeah, I fell Oh my God and I was like going to a different another Yvette Megan I got an eight n i and i i don't know i don't know why I care.
But Megan Okay, I got Megan Michele and Meghan hanging out. So I don't even know what I was talking about falling or somebody I fell. But really stay focused on your goals does take effort. It does take a team and it does take you stay in the game more times than you you jump out of the game. So we'll talk about that more because I forgot where I was unless Daria you remember are making you remember, I don't remember. It is stressing to see the number of slaves and say who refused to be saved by Jesus Christ. Then what you shouldn't do is go and try to save their souls. Because if that's what you're called to do, then you need to do that. Don't distress about it go to work about it. I don't even need drinks. So, yeah, no, no, that's fine. That's fine. I get it. But to that own self be true. So, so we're looking at the bicycle, my nephew, I like, Well, how did you learn how to ride a bicycle? And you know what I noticed there was not one adult out there screaming at him, you're gonna run into but it was not the other kids. And I saw him riding a bicycle. And I didn't realize he was learning to ride the bicycle. And then I'm talking to his mom like, yeah, so I saw him outside, right? And she's like, he don't know how to ride a bicycle. I said, Well, who told you that? Because he asked, I ran. She said, Well, whose bicycle? Is he? Right? Because he didn't have a bicycle at the time. And I'm like, oh, shoot, I don't know. Got my nephew in trouble. So he comes inside. And he like his mom's like, your Auntie said you will. You will learn it. Yeah, I'm back on track. I don't know it popped in my head. You were you were writing about it. Oh, yeah, I got off such such bicycle. But y'all know how to ride a bike. He was like, I just taught myself. And she was like, What do you mean, he just taught yourself? He said I could ride it. So I figured out how to ride. And he just, he just came and started to get something to drink. He's like, Well, can I go back outside and ride again, she was like, Okay, let me go out. So you won't be all up in the street when cars come. So that's when the yelling star said, Get over to your right side a cars come and staff get over to the left side. You know, stuff like that did. But he learned to ride because it would not want where he was one adult out there me. But I didn't know he couldn't ride a bicycle. So I didn't bother him. See what happens. See what happens when adults get out of the woods and get out of kids way. See the great things they do on their own. I'm just saying. So keep that in mind to keep that in mind. So that that brings me to another thing. When achieving your goals. I said accountability partners and having mastermind groups is important that you are sharing your goals with some people. Actually, anybody without the understanding of what darkness is, is really confused. Because my brilliance so scares you. Because my skin is so bolder than you, it stands out. And that melanin just pops until it blinds you and it confuses you. And you get lost and confused and your own thoughts of how brilliant and powerful I really am. Until you sit there thinking I don't understand that can't be instead of saying I want to know how I can be the same you focus and hits for think that I'm less than, but really, I'm more than and you yearn to be like me. So what I want you to do YOLO 678765, watch my replay, on how you can stay focused on your goals, instead of focusing on your obstacles. Because my being black, no, I don't feel stupid about that. What I feel is, you feel less than because you're not black, you feel less than because I get all the notice you feel less than from my brilliance and my boldness and my blackness. And once you're able to understand the power that comes with this, you will start to understand how you can evolve to this level, how you can share, like I am sharing and what I've learned to help others no matter the level of melanin in their skin. And until you have that revelation you will feel less than but I encourage you not to feel less than are encouraged you to open your mind and be able to receive wisdom and to grow from that. And I know right now it doesn't seem possible because somebody has spared you that you are more than because you have less melanin. But people with melanin Guess what? They don't ever feel that way. You know, they feel that when I walk up in this place, I'm like a diamond. I may not be cut, but I'm the purist and everybody notices me and how do you grow from that? So what is it that you bring to the table so that others can notice you? And you don't have to compare yourself to others? So stupidity is nothing. When you look at being black. Check that. So, everybody, what are we going to do? I want you to take some time, I know some of you. In reality, we're all different shapes as we really are, we really, really are making. So I want you to find some posts, it's four big posts, from big, big wall posts, and write your goals down. We are in the last part of 2018. And some of you are feeling discouraged, because you didn't hit your goals, you need to hit one goal in 2018, that you started. Trust me, I really know how you feel. But what I want to go through every Sunday, excuse me to start at the beginning of this year is we go through your goals. And I'll come on, and we'll talk about how to get that movement. Because while you may not hit your goal, remember your wins are not completing your goals, your wins, every step that you take. To get to reach that goal. I learned that it's like yes. Yeah, exactly. It really, really is I science Oh, man, that's been so long ago. So every every goal, every step that you take towards the goal, every action, even if you find that girl, going in reverse was what I should have done instead of putting the car in for that fits in that bush was not what I wanted to hit. Good Megan. So when you say lots of goals, so what I generally tell people, you don't want to have more than seven goals. And is one and like seven categories. So the like spiritual, mental, emotional, physical career or professional, personal, and financial. There are different areas, I tell people to have goals, but really only have one. In each one of those categories, each one of those seven categories at most. And then in there, you could have some some other things. So one of your goals for 2018 was, I want it to pay off a $20,000 in debt. And then I was like, Michelle, I paid off 10 I like what hell? Why are you mad, you only paid off 10 Because I'm wanting to pay off 20 Let me tell you, some of you have paid off $5 out of that 20, you still doing better than a lot of people. Maybe they have 720 to get to the end. So so so we my friend just says like don't pay her no attention. So you really, really need to stay focused on the actions you're taking to your goals. Those are your wins. Even though you haven't accomplished that goal, doesn't mean you're less than it simply means you're still in the process. And it's taking you longer to reach that goal. So we're going to look at that. I don't know what the plan is exactly. But I know I'm not traveling anymore. Some people can't even pay it out. Yes, some people really can't pay it.
Right. Every step is a it is a small victory, getting and reaching a goal or goals and a main. Exactly. So I have like an overarching 2018 goal, y'all I had one of my goals this year. Written ins for September, like to hit this in September was to have my tech company a C Corp. I just wrote it down. And what happened in September, I started a C Corp process. It was nothing I was doing intentionally working on but I had written it down it was on my 2018 plan. There is power in writing your goals down. So if you're telling me Michelle I have these goals for 2018 and I said what are they just like oh, I can't remember them. I'm gonna be like Well where did you write them down this like I don't I didn't write them down. I needed to go write them down. So this is your homework for next week. Write your goals down and we will go from there. I need you to come back next week with your goals if your goal is to pay Bahama pay down my debt, that's fine my I want to lose I want to fit in a size eight pants. Fine write it down small goals for me are part of my it is exactly Megan. It is it is really about small tangible goals because when you hit the small ones, the big ones don't seem so impossible. They seem like okay, that's just going to take longer. I will be able to do that in three months or one year, it might be three to five years. But let me tell you something, something that you thought you would reach in five years because you've hit the smaller one and three, one month and three month and six month goals. that five year goal now gets done in two to three years because you're meant momentum keeps going. Me too. I had a lot. I had a lot manifest after writing them down and put it where I see it every day. It works. It really really works. It it works in our subconscious because we start doing things and taking action or not taking action girl. So my doctor Tammy texts me and she wanted me to fly to Corpus Christi to come hang out. The way my bank account set up Dr. Tammy, I'm not gonna be able to make that because unless it's a revenue generating type activity. Michelle would not be there. Deuces. I appreciate you that love you. I was yes. Go go. I need to join you, Megan. My goal is to hit 160. And I am a middle schooler from like 60. I must say that. So we really by our by like, like Natalie said she had a lot to manifest after writing down her goals. And putting them when she see them every day. It works subconsciously it truly, truly does. And so even working subconsciously and then going in them and tasks mastering them. On a daily basis, it helps a lot. I do at least one thing every day to accomplish my goals and work towards them. Yes, and it doesn't take and when you when we talk about goals, we will also talk about how much time each day you need to spend on them. And I will tell you, you can do a lot in 15 to 20 minutes a day on a goal. And you're like Michelle, you lie. If you want to lose weight and you're not working out at all now at all right now 15 to 20 minutes of walking a day it will make a difference. Going from zero to one five minutes a day makes a difference. I want to learn how to do real estate Hey, lady divine, I want to learn how to do real estate. listen to a podcast or audiobook, a YouTube video, reading a book 15 to 20 minutes a day will increase your knowledge. Right. It's small. So it took me about three months to get to that. It does. But you know what happens? You keep going and you keep going. And you keep going. And you keep going. That's That's my my breakdown of it. Okay, are we good? Are you so y'all know what y'all assignment is? Dr. Tammy, the assignment is to write down your goals, your 2018 goals. Now, if you're like Michelle is q4 of 2018, I did well, but for my 2018 goals, I'm focused on 2019 the Write down your 2019 goals. Let's go let's get started on him. Just got to 2018 don't mean you can't start on 2019 Hell, you can start on 2025 ball. I can't. But we got it. That's what we're going to do for the next few Sundays. I'm gonna say next five Sundays. We'll work on goals. Probably even the Sunday after Thanksgiving, because some of y'all gonna be like, I feel sick. I want Black Friday shopping. Better to take time and keep going to rush Exactly. Just keep it and even when you backslide even when you have a bad day even when you drink the whole bottle of wine and eat the whole bag of pita cinnamon sugar chips. You just you own it. And I own that I own that. But guess what got to keep going. It's no time to give up. None whatsoever. All right, everybody. We good. We good? Yeah, ready. I don't know who's pressing those hearts because I'm not on my phone is here. And I'm on E cam. So I'm on my laptop, which is at 9%. So I won't be on here much longer at all. But if you have not followed me be sure you follow me. I'm at Michelle C and I'm a one L Michelle. We shall see hey, we're here on Periscope. You can find me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook. I have twitch and Snapchat but I just have to account that is it. I just have two accounts. And if you're like, do work with your 2019 and if you're like Michelle My 2018 can watch your 2018 goals. It is not too late. Let's get them moving. You might you probably can achieve one or two of them if you're committed. I'm committed with you You will get it in the next five weeks. Right? It is me I'm following you. Okay. Great. Glad Queen for God. Great, great. Great. All right, everybody. I'm out of here. We have a busy day tomorrow setting up the booth. I feel like big Tigger setting up the booth. No, don't worry about it. Alright, everybody might feel like you need to go to sleep and get back on track. Yes, that is what I don't want y'all to be for those of you like Michelle, I haven't looked at my goals for 2010 since January. Do not beat yourself. Yes, you are following me on Twitter. I have to check Instagram you probably are. I've just been really busy. But I know you are on Twitter. Because I followed you back. Do not beat yourself up if you have not reached your 2018 goals if you have not worked on them since January. Thought about them since February. It's not that kind of show. What we're about is really empowering you to get what you want in your life with the goals that you have in mind. Not about beating you up. But I will make you accountable. I will hold you accountable. And that comes with Dr. Tammy let them know tough love because I think Laura Lila key was on here. So if you don't know Laura La La ke Laura is a realtor in LA. And one of her goals was to have a million dollar listing. She had a Million Dollar Listing this year. Did that come overnight? Nope. took about a year. From the time it took less than a year from the time she said what the goal was to her reaching it. Good night. Thank you and so it can happen but you have to be dedicated Laura was dedicated to making changes. She was dedicated Shawna for accountability meeting she was dedicated to writing now she was dedicated to asking questions to do our research to putting in the work. If that is not, you don't show up on Sundays. Because you you I'm gonna let you know you're gonna get your feelings hurt. And I don't mean that to be funny. I'm just saying you're not ready. So So I won't say don't come. Just say you know what, I don't know if I'm in the right mindset for this. But I want to be here and learn, then come for that. But if you're ready, truly ready to commit to this, be here on Sundays, which are pen and paper with your goals with your questions, which are frustrations, which are obstacles. And we will work through this. All right. I'm at 7%. So I gotta go. Everybody have a great week, and I will be back tomorrow with mentor Monday. So if you're a woman of color, STEM professionals, data scientists, technologists, engineer, mathematician you might be doing you may be a developer, but you deal with Python. So you're doing stats. I'll be back tomorrow with mentor Monday. I think hopefully I'll be back in time. I'll be back in a condo to do it. Alright everybody, I'll see you later. Bye.
Okay, now like Michelle, how can you not celebrate your wins? Because as a woman we are taught not to be boastful. We're taught to be modest. That's not very lady like To hell with that. I'm the boss. I did that. You say that you said it was built over there I did that would pop pop your callers ladies. Oh, net. Oh net. Hey, Nina, thanks for invite your false Oh, net. I have to learn not just you, but I have to learn to celebrate my wins. And when I celebrate, I need not go get food. That's the second thing I need to do. I need to celebrate my wins in another way than food and shopping. But at least when I do it, I do do do it for myself. I'm just saying. So be out there and celebrate your wins and let people now so I do little stuff. Like I don't know if any. If you follow me on Instagram, and you look at my stories, yes, up your collar. If you look at my Instagram Stories, you may have seen this really, really tall pop up banner. And that was huge for me to get a banner for my business. I'm in Atlanta right now. And my friend flew in for up from LA to help me be an exhibitor at this conference. It is really, really important for my business to be here, or at least to test it out and see if it's a good fit for me to come in and start marketing my business. Because getting a client y'all is a long game plan. It is not anything short. It is not anything quick. For most of us. It does take time, especially if you're looking at corporate clients. So here in Atlanta again, like Michelle, you'll just stay on Thursday. And I'll be here Sunday through Wednesday. Sunday through Wednesday. Oh yeah, I think I just fixed my page, but now I can't get it to connect. me that's a whole other discussion. Okay. So I So number one, look at your goals every day. Number two. Look at the obstacles for some or all of your goals. And find one way write down one way to overcome that obstacle. What is the quickest and easiest way that you can think of to overcome that obstacle? Because a lot of times the obstacle is really in here. And it doesn't exist most of the time most of the time do we keep ourselves from reaching our goals? Let's be truthful. How many people want to lose weight? How many people had this for dinner? They are not paying me. So let me do this they are not paying me but how many of us are maybe being you had some of this to go with that? I'm just saying that you want to lose weight. So we sabotage ourselves when it comes. So most of the times we are our own obstacle we blame I'm big boned did a bone don't go like this a bone is not easily put. I'm just saying I'm just saying. So really, really own the obstacles how many of them are really more in our mind than they are out in the world? Okay. Number three, hey glam queen. Number three, celebrate your wins. Post them share with your Insta bosses community, share with your paragraphs community, share them with your Periscope community. Share with your heart tribes community share with your Facebook family right share your win. I didn't come know Daraa you did not go with here with your big bone. Okay, share your wins but this is the bonus I have for you this is the bonus. And you're like Michelle what's the bonus? What is your why? Hey Natalie. Natalie isn't a by Natalie must be your favorite person or what is your why? What I say is so my goal. One of my goals I said was to create wealth with last which lasts at least three generations. And my why is I do not believe I do not feel and I do not want my I have nieces and nephews, my great nieces and nephews, and my great great nieces and nephews to continue to having to work. Okay gara continue to have to work a job. What I prefer them to do is work do work, which is fulfilling to them do work, which they are passionate about do work, which impacts the world. And a lot of times for people to feel that way they do not need they do not having to worry about student loan debt, a mortgage, health insurance, all of that is already covered. So remove removing that debt, removing that responsibility may give them hopefully the opportunity to create a life where they're doing so much more than just working a job to pay the bill. working nine to five, just make live in See that's why I don't do karaoke. See. That's why I don't do parodies. So yeah, I got it, right. So that is that that's my bonus. Now, there's like, Michelle, how do you how do you stay focused like some days are better than others? Some days, you will not work on your goals directly. And what you like what does that mean? That means you will take this last. You're gonna take this bottom line, you're gonna pour it, you're gonna sit at cipet and you could just chill and you're gonna be on Periscope, and you're gonna tell jokes about a time I sounded great, though. You're gonna tell jokes about that time. You found this great Groupon to Jamaica. And it said that a resort had no churn. Shuren children or children. For those of y'all who aren't southern or Midwestern. Head you oh my god, this is perfect. And you call your boy you tell like yeah, about he's like, okay, cool. You should definitely go you know, just be careful if you're gonna go because I went alone. I went to Jamaica about myself. I get to the resort. It ya know why I said no children allowed. Because they had a nude beach. Like it was two beaches. It was the clothes beach and the nude beach. Well, guess what? The cloth beach faces the nude beach. And guess who was? Yeah, I had all shades and I sometimes I wear my glasses. I pull it off my che so I couldn't see. Thank you. They were my glasses. I could still see it still I can still see. Even to this day, I can still see hold issues later. It was one of those times I wish I didn't have my context.
So those are the take days you you come out and you really just relax. And you reminisce on things and you celebrate things and you just really look at you do a Netflix and chill with yourself. And you don't answer your phone and you're not on Twitter, you're not on social. And those are the days that you need to really recoup. Those are the days that you need to you can refocus. Those are the days so that you don't burn out. Right. So not every day, not every hour, will you focus on your goals. Girl, nothing could have prepared me for that. I thought like after so many wrinkles, you understood you were not supposed to go in the sun anymore. But obviously that's in my mind. Not everybody's know, nothing can prepare you for that. Least not engineering school. Maybe if I was in a medical space, I nursed to something but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. So take the time. Take the time to relax, relate, release, relax, relate release. And that way you're ready to go back in and really focus on your goals again. You're ready to go back in. And whatever that barrier are a couple barriers that you really, they really aren't in your head. You have to face and overcome. You're ready for them. because you know your why you've looked at your goals, you written down how to overcome at least one way to overcome that obstacle or obstacles. And you've celebrated your wins. So you're like, I've done this before. I can do it again. I'm not done this, but I can do this again because you know what happened? I don't know. I don't know. I'm a guess how many of y'all ride a bicycle have written a bicycle? How many of you like girl the last time I rode a bicycle like 25 years ago. And you looking crazy, right? But if I told you, I need you to ride that bicycle, from this corner of the block to the next corner that block you like it's gonna be rough, but I can do it. You know why? Because you've done it before. So while you may not have achieved this one goal, but you achieved these other five you might Wow cheap five I can do the one it's just a little bit rougher. Because you build up your skill set. The more goals you set, the more goals you work on, the more goals you achieve, so it works out. Yes, resiliency. I got the crew over there she like her. It's called resilience. I'm the English one you to math, one C is teamwork. Work is teamwork up in this condo tonight. So all right. So what are we going to do? It is is coming up on Monday bicycles that I have loved. You know what it is about bicycles. They teach us how to ride bicycles. They should teach us how to fall and there's a difference. So teaching you how to ride a bicycle, they're focused on you not instead of saying okay, when you feel yourself going to the right side, move your foot to catch yourself. When you feel yourself leaning to the left side, pull your core and suck your stomach in and try to balance and try to really focus on this. It says that they get freaked out and because they freak out, you freak out don't get the neighbor's car. Learn how to ride in the street. Right off this hill I'm having flashbacks of learning how to ride my yellow son duster as a kid. But I watched my now nine and a half year old nephew teach himself how to ride a bicycle. And you know why he taught how he taught himself to ride like 30 minutes or an hour because nobody was out there screaming at him. Nobody was telling him he was just like I felt like I was gonna fall so I put my foot down I didn't know how to fall if I fall over Flass See, I cannot do that. Karen is your name Karen did I get it right or am I wrong? So you gotta be cracking out too I already know how to fall Oh y'all I failed the other day the reason why I was in Atlanta I did not step both feet down like my left foot did not went like so it was a step down and my foot went like that and I fell
in a parking garage that wasn't a bad part. The bad part was two people in there you fall up there see Karen we don't have to talk we don't have the top no care we don't have the top I know where you hang out you take you hang out with two well why now is it yeah because I know how to well do so so yeah, I fell Oh my God and I was like going to a different another Yvette Megan I got an eight n i and i i don't know i don't know why I care.
But Megan Okay, I got Megan Michele and Meghan hanging out. So I don't even know what I was talking about falling or somebody I fell. But really stay focused on your goals does take effort. It does take a team and it does take you stay in the game more times than you you jump out of the game. So we'll talk about that more because I forgot where I was unless Daria you remember are making you remember, I don't remember. It is stressing to see the number of slaves and say who refused to be saved by Jesus Christ. Then what you shouldn't do is go and try to save their souls. Because if that's what you're called to do, then you need to do that. Don't distress about it go to work about it. I don't even need drinks. So, yeah, no, no, that's fine. That's fine. I get it. But to that own self be true. So, so we're looking at the bicycle, my nephew, I like, Well, how did you learn how to ride a bicycle? And you know what I noticed there was not one adult out there screaming at him, you're gonna run into but it was not the other kids. And I saw him riding a bicycle. And I didn't realize he was learning to ride the bicycle. And then I'm talking to his mom like, yeah, so I saw him outside, right? And she's like, he don't know how to ride a bicycle. I said, Well, who told you that? Because he asked, I ran. She said, Well, whose bicycle? Is he? Right? Because he didn't have a bicycle at the time. And I'm like, oh, shoot, I don't know. Got my nephew in trouble. So he comes inside. And he like his mom's like, your Auntie said you will. You will learn it. Yeah, I'm back on track. I don't know it popped in my head. You were you were writing about it. Oh, yeah, I got off such such bicycle. But y'all know how to ride a bike. He was like, I just taught myself. And she was like, What do you mean, he just taught yourself? He said I could ride it. So I figured out how to ride. And he just, he just came and started to get something to drink. He's like, Well, can I go back outside and ride again, she was like, Okay, let me go out. So you won't be all up in the street when cars come. So that's when the yelling star said, Get over to your right side a cars come and staff get over to the left side. You know, stuff like that did. But he learned to ride because it would not want where he was one adult out there me. But I didn't know he couldn't ride a bicycle. So I didn't bother him. See what happens. See what happens when adults get out of the woods and get out of kids way. See the great things they do on their own. I'm just saying. So keep that in mind to keep that in mind. So that that brings me to another thing. When achieving your goals. I said accountability partners and having mastermind groups is important that you are sharing your goals with some people. Actually, anybody without the understanding of what darkness is, is really confused. Because my brilliance so scares you. Because my skin is so bolder than you, it stands out. And that melanin just pops until it blinds you and it confuses you. And you get lost and confused and your own thoughts of how brilliant and powerful I really am. Until you sit there thinking I don't understand that can't be instead of saying I want to know how I can be the same you focus and hits for think that I'm less than, but really, I'm more than and you yearn to be like me. So what I want you to do YOLO 678765, watch my replay, on how you can stay focused on your goals, instead of focusing on your obstacles. Because my being black, no, I don't feel stupid about that. What I feel is, you feel less than because you're not black, you feel less than because I get all the notice you feel less than from my brilliance and my boldness and my blackness. And once you're able to understand the power that comes with this, you will start to understand how you can evolve to this level, how you can share, like I am sharing and what I've learned to help others no matter the level of melanin in their skin. And until you have that revelation you will feel less than but I encourage you not to feel less than are encouraged you to open your mind and be able to receive wisdom and to grow from that. And I know right now it doesn't seem possible because somebody has spared you that you are more than because you have less melanin. But people with melanin Guess what? They don't ever feel that way. You know, they feel that when I walk up in this place, I'm like a diamond. I may not be cut, but I'm the purist and everybody notices me and how do you grow from that? So what is it that you bring to the table so that others can notice you? And you don't have to compare yourself to others? So stupidity is nothing. When you look at being black. Check that. So, everybody, what are we going to do? I want you to take some time, I know some of you. In reality, we're all different shapes as we really are, we really, really are making. So I want you to find some posts, it's four big posts, from big, big wall posts, and write your goals down. We are in the last part of 2018. And some of you are feeling discouraged, because you didn't hit your goals, you need to hit one goal in 2018, that you started. Trust me, I really know how you feel. But what I want to go through every Sunday, excuse me to start at the beginning of this year is we go through your goals. And I'll come on, and we'll talk about how to get that movement. Because while you may not hit your goal, remember your wins are not completing your goals, your wins, every step that you take. To get to reach that goal. I learned that it's like yes. Yeah, exactly. It really, really is I science Oh, man, that's been so long ago. So every every goal, every step that you take towards the goal, every action, even if you find that girl, going in reverse was what I should have done instead of putting the car in for that fits in that bush was not what I wanted to hit. Good Megan. So when you say lots of goals, so what I generally tell people, you don't want to have more than seven goals. And is one and like seven categories. So the like spiritual, mental, emotional, physical career or professional, personal, and financial. There are different areas, I tell people to have goals, but really only have one. In each one of those categories, each one of those seven categories at most. And then in there, you could have some some other things. So one of your goals for 2018 was, I want it to pay off a $20,000 in debt. And then I was like, Michelle, I paid off 10 I like what hell? Why are you mad, you only paid off 10 Because I'm wanting to pay off 20 Let me tell you, some of you have paid off $5 out of that 20, you still doing better than a lot of people. Maybe they have 720 to get to the end. So so so we my friend just says like don't pay her no attention. So you really, really need to stay focused on the actions you're taking to your goals. Those are your wins. Even though you haven't accomplished that goal, doesn't mean you're less than it simply means you're still in the process. And it's taking you longer to reach that goal. So we're going to look at that. I don't know what the plan is exactly. But I know I'm not traveling anymore. Some people can't even pay it out. Yes, some people really can't pay it.
Right. Every step is a it is a small victory, getting and reaching a goal or goals and a main. Exactly. So I have like an overarching 2018 goal, y'all I had one of my goals this year. Written ins for September, like to hit this in September was to have my tech company a C Corp. I just wrote it down. And what happened in September, I started a C Corp process. It was nothing I was doing intentionally working on but I had written it down it was on my 2018 plan. There is power in writing your goals down. So if you're telling me Michelle I have these goals for 2018 and I said what are they just like oh, I can't remember them. I'm gonna be like Well where did you write them down this like I don't I didn't write them down. I needed to go write them down. So this is your homework for next week. Write your goals down and we will go from there. I need you to come back next week with your goals if your goal is to pay Bahama pay down my debt, that's fine my I want to lose I want to fit in a size eight pants. Fine write it down small goals for me are part of my it is exactly Megan. It is it is really about small tangible goals because when you hit the small ones, the big ones don't seem so impossible. They seem like okay, that's just going to take longer. I will be able to do that in three months or one year, it might be three to five years. But let me tell you something, something that you thought you would reach in five years because you've hit the smaller one and three, one month and three month and six month goals. that five year goal now gets done in two to three years because you're meant momentum keeps going. Me too. I had a lot. I had a lot manifest after writing them down and put it where I see it every day. It works. It really really works. It it works in our subconscious because we start doing things and taking action or not taking action girl. So my doctor Tammy texts me and she wanted me to fly to Corpus Christi to come hang out. The way my bank account set up Dr. Tammy, I'm not gonna be able to make that because unless it's a revenue generating type activity. Michelle would not be there. Deuces. I appreciate you that love you. I was yes. Go go. I need to join you, Megan. My goal is to hit 160. And I am a middle schooler from like 60. I must say that. So we really by our by like, like Natalie said she had a lot to manifest after writing down her goals. And putting them when she see them every day. It works subconsciously it truly, truly does. And so even working subconsciously and then going in them and tasks mastering them. On a daily basis, it helps a lot. I do at least one thing every day to accomplish my goals and work towards them. Yes, and it doesn't take and when you when we talk about goals, we will also talk about how much time each day you need to spend on them. And I will tell you, you can do a lot in 15 to 20 minutes a day on a goal. And you're like Michelle, you lie. If you want to lose weight and you're not working out at all now at all right now 15 to 20 minutes of walking a day it will make a difference. Going from zero to one five minutes a day makes a difference. I want to learn how to do real estate Hey, lady divine, I want to learn how to do real estate. listen to a podcast or audiobook, a YouTube video, reading a book 15 to 20 minutes a day will increase your knowledge. Right. It's small. So it took me about three months to get to that. It does. But you know what happens? You keep going and you keep going. And you keep going. And you keep going. That's That's my my breakdown of it. Okay, are we good? Are you so y'all know what y'all assignment is? Dr. Tammy, the assignment is to write down your goals, your 2018 goals. Now, if you're like Michelle is q4 of 2018, I did well, but for my 2018 goals, I'm focused on 2019 the Write down your 2019 goals. Let's go let's get started on him. Just got to 2018 don't mean you can't start on 2019 Hell, you can start on 2025 ball. I can't. But we got it. That's what we're going to do for the next few Sundays. I'm gonna say next five Sundays. We'll work on goals. Probably even the Sunday after Thanksgiving, because some of y'all gonna be like, I feel sick. I want Black Friday shopping. Better to take time and keep going to rush Exactly. Just keep it and even when you backslide even when you have a bad day even when you drink the whole bottle of wine and eat the whole bag of pita cinnamon sugar chips. You just you own it. And I own that I own that. But guess what got to keep going. It's no time to give up. None whatsoever. All right, everybody. We good. We good? Yeah, ready. I don't know who's pressing those hearts because I'm not on my phone is here. And I'm on E cam. So I'm on my laptop, which is at 9%. So I won't be on here much longer at all. But if you have not followed me be sure you follow me. I'm at Michelle C and I'm a one L Michelle. We shall see hey, we're here on Periscope. You can find me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook. I have twitch and Snapchat but I just have to account that is it. I just have two accounts. And if you're like, do work with your 2019 and if you're like Michelle My 2018 can watch your 2018 goals. It is not too late. Let's get them moving. You might you probably can achieve one or two of them if you're committed. I'm committed with you You will get it in the next five weeks. Right? It is me I'm following you. Okay. Great. Glad Queen for God. Great, great. Great. All right, everybody. I'm out of here. We have a busy day tomorrow setting up the booth. I feel like big Tigger setting up the booth. No, don't worry about it. Alright, everybody might feel like you need to go to sleep and get back on track. Yes, that is what I don't want y'all to be for those of you like Michelle, I haven't looked at my goals for 2010 since January. Do not beat yourself. Yes, you are following me on Twitter. I have to check Instagram you probably are. I've just been really busy. But I know you are on Twitter. Because I followed you back. Do not beat yourself up if you have not reached your 2018 goals if you have not worked on them since January. Thought about them since February. It's not that kind of show. What we're about is really empowering you to get what you want in your life with the goals that you have in mind. Not about beating you up. But I will make you accountable. I will hold you accountable. And that comes with Dr. Tammy let them know tough love because I think Laura Lila key was on here. So if you don't know Laura La La ke Laura is a realtor in LA. And one of her goals was to have a million dollar listing. She had a Million Dollar Listing this year. Did that come overnight? Nope. took about a year. From the time it took less than a year from the time she said what the goal was to her reaching it. Good night. Thank you and so it can happen but you have to be dedicated Laura was dedicated to making changes. She was dedicated Shawna for accountability meeting she was dedicated to writing now she was dedicated to asking questions to do our research to putting in the work. If that is not, you don't show up on Sundays. Because you you I'm gonna let you know you're gonna get your feelings hurt. And I don't mean that to be funny. I'm just saying you're not ready. So So I won't say don't come. Just say you know what, I don't know if I'm in the right mindset for this. But I want to be here and learn, then come for that. But if you're ready, truly ready to commit to this, be here on Sundays, which are pen and paper with your goals with your questions, which are frustrations, which are obstacles. And we will work through this. All right. I'm at 7%. So I gotta go. Everybody have a great week, and I will be back tomorrow with mentor Monday. So if you're a woman of color, STEM professionals, data scientists, technologists, engineer, mathematician you might be doing you may be a developer, but you deal with Python. So you're doing stats. I'll be back tomorrow with mentor Monday. I think hopefully I'll be back in time. I'll be back in a condo to do it. Alright everybody, I'll see you later. Bye.