Hello, everybody, thank you so much for joining me today we have a special guest. We have Jessica Walker, or Jessica, a walker with us because I finally figured out what job speak digital means. But anyway, Jessica is here with us to take today talking about maternal health, why it should matter. And I say that because I get the fortune of talking to so many employers who always say, our employees love our benefits. And always ask them, well, what’s the breakdown of your employees? And who don’t like your benefits and which benefits don’t they like or they’re requesting? Because that is usually the smaller number of people in the organization you’re not serving. And so I’m here today with Jessica, she like girl? Yes. So she so she’s here today to really talk about maternal health, why it should matter to everybody, not just to women, not just to to mothers. And so it’s really, really great to have you here, Jessica. So I’m going to let you introduce yourself and let everybody know a bit about you.

All right. Thanks. My name is. as Michelle said, it’s Jessica a Walker, which is my initials, jaw. Once I got married, I was like, Oh, you know what, I need to find a differentiator for myself, because there’s 50 million Jessica’s on the internet. And I knew I was going to do things on the internet. And when I googled Jessica, all other folks came up, and not me. So I decided to go with jaw. And that is just my initials, of course, after marriage. So that is what just a walker is. And now I am the founder of just speaks digital, which is a digital media company. We specialize in content creation and our VA VIP day, which is our virtual intensive content creation day where we help you create six months of content in a day. That is totally something I came up with, because I found a lot of people out here wanting to create content for their brands, and also in the maternal health sector. There were a lot of women being missed, because at the time, social media wasn’t a huge thing, which I know we’ll get into later, but I just want to preface it with I also help a lot of nonprofits get their message out with that VIP day as well. So yeah, that is who I am mom of six, advocate for maternal mental health and digital media, subject matter expert, and strategist, social media, social, digital media, digital media, ecosystems, all of the things, right, all of the things. Michelle, I would love to hear you.

I would love to hear me too. So we want to know your mom of six. But we want to know about Jessica, like just Jessica. So where were you born and raised then and and then we can get into the maternal mental health maternal health aspect that you are known for in that in that sector.

Okay, those those are song. Oh, I wasn’t I was born in the city, like in Jamaica. is one of the deadliest cities on the FBI list. Well, it used to be I don’t know if it still is. Those born in California. What sad, right? Yeah, and that’s where I was born in California.

So she’s a Cali girl. Okay, so you’re born in California? She’s She’s a Cali girl, born in California. But how did you go from California girl, you get married have six kids. Now, where did maternal health and maternal health fall in there? Were in you know, like child one through six. You know? And how did that how did that get started?

Yeah, you know, I was thinking about this. Michelle, when we when we talked before about, you know, maternal mental health and just my journey as a mom. And this week, we’re coming off the tail end of black maternal health week. And this whole week, I’ve been doing a lot in maternal mental health, where I usually focus in on the digital side have been doing a lot and either being on webinars myself as a speaker or supporting webinars on the digital media side, and I realized that when I tell my story, I leave out a whole bunch that is truly, just very, it’s very hard to talk about because I was a teen mom. I was I got pregnant with my first one, my daughter, my first kid at 17. And so when I look at that story, and my husband is it the biological father of my oldest daughter, but he is definitely her father. When I look at that story, I’m like, wow, In this maternal stuff, like, unknowingly a long, long time, because when I was 17, I went to a secondary like school for pregnant teens. And in that classroom, I was the person telling all of those moms like, what they should be doing, what they should be reading, you know, helping the teacher out and all that good stuff. So I’ve been an advocate for a long time since I was 17 with the birth of my daughter, so it’s, it’s pretty crazy that it’s come full circle now, and I’m doing this advocacy stuff.

I love it. I love it. So 17. Mom, you are now so now you’re raising her foot? Where does the health like? How do you realize like there’s a gap in the maternal health space, because you know, on TV, oh, the baby’s here. Oh, you had a baby. They don’t really talk about the postpartum and your body changing and trying to figure out what your new body is like, and all these other. Everybody’s fighting over the baby. Like when you go feed the baby, don’t you need to change the baby? Nobody’s focused on mom, and I don’t have kids. But I see it and like we can mom get a break. And because I have three sisters. And so they’re like, like, you can come back and get your kids? No, really, it’s been four hours. I’m done. Like I ran out of our one. Well, actually, I ran out out about five minutes. But when you come back to get your kids, and what does that really look like? So um, so I would really, really love to hear like, how for you was it some people like kid one and like I had enough. And some people like my mom, she like, she bought kids and she like, postpartum hit after my brother. But she knew, you know, they didn’t know back in the 70s. What that was so kind of where it Where did it start for you? Where did you figure out like, okay, something’s going on. And it’s nobody’s talking about it. But I know it should I need help.

Oddly enough, I didn’t. I didn’t realize what it was until I was on baby number three medicine before some baby number four. And if I look back, I can see traces of it in the other verse. But like you said, Nobody talks about that part, right? It’s like, oh, you’re pregnant, and then you get special treatment when you’re pregnant. And then it’s like, oh, I’m having a baby, then you get special treatment when you have a baby, right? And then it’s like, oh, you know, the baby’s here. And then everybody goes to the baby. And this whole entire time is like, what about me What’s happening? So I didn’t realize until the birth of my of baby number four, which is my son. And along with that came, you know, the death of my brother. So that triggered a lot of things, I think, as well. were, you know, I was the caretaker for him. And I took care of him while my mom were three sometimes, you know, for jobs, like, you know, just doing a bunch of stuff to take care of us. And I was taking care of my two younger siblings. So when I lost him, I kind of felt like, Oh, my God, like I lost a child because, like, I had taken care of him for so long. And then I found out I was pregnant, and I almost miscarried. And while I was in the hospital, they were like, oh, you’re you’re having a miscarriage and like, left me alone. And I was like, crying and like, Oh my gosh, like felt so alone about like yelling at my husband, like, do something he’s like, I don’t know what to do. So long story short, he was okay, I have him. And then after I had him, I just fell into like a deep, deep well of depression. But I could see traces of it. When I look back at pictures with the other verse before him. What happened was, I was sitting in my room, and it was really dark inside my room. And he came in and he walked in, and he said, Mom, I was so sad. And I was like, What are you talking about? Like, I’m happy. If you see my personality now, like, I’m on Ted, when you meet me in person. I’m always laughing and giggling. And he’s like, no, you’re always mad and screaming, and I was just like, Oh my gosh, he knows, because for a long time there, I was able to kind of hide it and like cry in the shower, or go into my room and just kind of put my head down and you know, lay low, so I was functional. And that sense of I would make sure the kids did their homework, make them breakfast, dinner, whatever, do whatever I needed to do to take care of them. But then I would go back into my room and there would be really dark and I would just sit in there and just kind of glue. So when he told me that, like the way that he told me, I was just like, and I just felt like I could turn in the stone. And I remember like looking in the mirror like it’s not his job to worry about me. I’m supposed to take care of him. He shouldn’t have to worry about his mom being okay and That was the thing that kind of snapped me out of it. And I started to research and look on the computer for anything that said something about this thing, right? And be honest with you back then or wasn’t a lot, it barely anything. And I researched and then I started finding about epigenetics and about slavery. And like, I started thinking about it, like, we went through several civil rights, we went through slavery, with the Jim Crow, none of that none of those times that we say anything about depression, or about just really truthfully about therapy, just going to therapy for all of the things that we have gone through, it really was like non existent. And then I started to look around my community. And I noticed as I was driving, like, like, I’m really surrounded by people, like how do you know, this is not supposed to happen, if you’re surrounded by people that are all going through the same thing you’re going through, you don’t know what the other thing looks like. So we ended up moving, because we had a situation that happened at our home. So we ended up moving from my mom’s house moving to our own home at this point. And we moved to the suburbs, and it was like, everybody’s laughing and birds chirping. And it was really, that was like, This is crazy. But there was a blog post, I remember going to this blog post, and it was by a Caucasian woman, and she was talking about her maid and how her nanny wasn’t there. And I remember thinking, like,
if she is having problems, if she’s struggling, and having problems after having the baby, I can only like I definitely got some issues, I can’t keep my lights on like food is scarce, like, you know, every day is a struggle, kind of a thing. So I started a nonprofit from that. And I, you know, went out and I wanted to just have support groups for moms to talk about what was going on, because I’m like this woman that seemingly has everything and half a nanny where I don’t have any support. And I’m taking care of all these kids. But you know, pretty much between my husband and myself and my mom who will come over and my dad will help out occasionally, like, this is a huge problem. Somebody needs to talk about this. So long answer to your question, but then fell?

No, I think it’s a long answer. Because it’s a lift answer, right? It’s not like, Oh, I had an accident, or it’s like you live through this. So it’s not a short answer. So absolutely makes so much sense. So So for all of you moms that are out there, and parents really going through like, Hey, I didn’t realize the normal and somebody related this to me. Sometimes for military people, they don’t know they have, they need they have PTSD, because everybody around them has PTSD. So it’s not until they retire, and they go someplace else. Everybody’s looking at them, like what’s wrong with you, there’s like, but I’m normal for the military. But I’m not normal for civilian life. And you’re trying to figure out what that is. And that’s oftentimes when they realize they need help. But it’s a whole other thing. And I absolutely agree. Sometimes we have to step away, and really be around other people to try to figure out what is normal. And like you said, for the black community, we’ve been through so many traumas, what is normal and getting mental, because you had to be as strong as possible to endure so much, and put up so many blocks, blockades and so many layers of skin to fortify, sometimes you don’t know what you’re feeling, because all you’re really trying to do is survive. And I mean, the thing is to you’re told, are you seeing over and over and over again, right? It’s like, we don’t get press, you know, too blessed to be stressed. You know, all that good stuff, which I actually do believe in. But that’s a whole nother for another time of the breakdown of that. Right? And it has to do with stress levels and making sure that you’re protecting yourself from stress, stressful elements. But when you think about it, right? It’s like when when do we ever have this conversation even on our families in our households anytime, right? I remember I was talking to a friend of mine. And we were like, you know what, I don’t remember my mom actually like going on vacation. I don’t remember my mom sitting down and going, you know what, I’m just gonna take some time for me and self care. That was good. It was like always go go, go, go Go taking care of this one. That one, you know, whoever in the family or whatever needs to be done. It was always a constant go, go go. So to your point, I love the fact that you you’re able to relate it back to like military, like it really truthfully, is that you’re living in it. And I mean, I got like I said, it was like, several years. I was just like, Oh, this is just that this is motherhood and I need to just be happy that my kids are okay and just roll with it. But it’s like no, as a person as a woman like you said earlier, what not you know not mom but Jessica right as a woman. How do we understand that we’re still human beings even though we’ve given birth to a human being, we brought this person to the earth. And we populate it though. And I tell people, I’m, I’ve populated the world enough. I think I’m done with kids. I’ve run enough amazing human beings here. I’ve populated the earth. I’ve done my job, I think I’m done. But we’ve populated the earth. And we’ve brought these new human beings into the world, but also we ourselves, we still need care. It isn’t like, okay, now, that’s all I am. That’s all I do know, you still need to step back and take care of yourself and figure out what makes you happy? What makes you joyful? What, what do you want to do with your own life after you’ve given birth to these people, because they do take a lot of time and energy, but then also to your happiness is important for them to see it to be able to be happy and fulfilled in their own lives. So it’s a full circle thing. And it really is definitely important on both levels. So we talked about Jessica, we’ve talked about your y, let’s talk about how, how do women want? So we’ve talked about some signs, there’s like, okay, something’s changed. I know, I need some assistance. What are the things they need to be doing? Or how, how can they get the help they need?

Yeah, so the first step is to recognize that there is a problem, because also, self stigma is a huge issue, right? Because for the longest time, and I’ll speak for myself almost before anyone else, I was like, nothing’s wrong with me, I’m fine. I’m fine. And those words, I’m fine, are such a way to kind of cover up everything because you don’t want to deal with it. Right? It’s really difficult to deal with the fact that that’s happened. Really difficult to deal with that, right? It’s hard. And if we go back to what the the media portrays as depression, and crazy, right, first and foremost, you think, Oh, my gosh, I’m gonna do something really drastic, or I’m gonna start talking to myself or you know, any of those things, right? I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, right? And anxiety looks like, you know, heart palpitations, it can come on in any time, you know, so I know that there’s certain things I need to do to manage that. But it has to start with me first, acknowledging the fact that this is a problem, and that I need to fix it. So first of all, is acknowledgement. And I have this analogy called heal, right is helping others educating yourself. advocacy and awareness, and then love loving yourself, right? So it’s heal. And you really need to encompass all of those things into it and then seek help, right? So whether that’s medication, I don’t take medication myself, but I know therapy was a huge thing. But also just truly to be honest with you, decreasing our levels of stress. That was huge. Just to say, Oh, you know what, I don’t need to talk to you your negative energy. So finding out exactly what you need. And if it’s a therapist, if it’s medication, if it’s a yoga instructor, if it’s meditation, if it’s deep breathing, whatever it is that you need, finding out what it is that you need, and going in and doing that self analysis and self awareness work. And that’s what’s going to help you.

I love it. Thank you so much for that. I I remember talking to one of my sisters, about why she was doing all of these things for her kids. I said they’re big enough. I said, let them do it. And so she’s like, no, no. Well, I ended up getting the kids in the afternoon, I trusted my nephew. Now one of my nephew knows how to cook hot dogs, sausage, eggs, and frozen pizza. like a duck nails. He should survive, right? He could survive his sister, his oldest, she loves to cook. And she like, Oh, you want somebody who? Like No, this is like I’m hungry. So I guess she bought the cook. If I’m busy, I’m working on my business. And he was like, I could see him in the kitchen from where I was working. So I just taught him how to do stuff. And so sometimes, some of the stress can be relieved because the kids are growing older. And so they can handle that responsibility. And it’s not as though you say, Oh, go out and get a paycheck at 10 or 12. You’re just saying you’re tall enough now not to get burned. It’s just those little things. So what are some other actionable things that you found that you’ve been able to accomplish within your family to reduce your stress as to having to try to do 50 11 million things in 24 hours or less? You know, I
will tell you, Michelle, it’s really, it’s hard for us to do that. We struggle with that ourselves. We have six kids and we struggle with that ourselves, of delegating and telling them you know, they do have chores. So they do have that but as far as like I mean, they cook pizza, you know, like those things, but I think too, I want to I want to talk a little bit about that because What I’ve noticed specifically, and I’m only gonna speak specifically for black women, because that’s who I’ve noticed. And that’s what I’ve been around the majority of my life is that we use that as a mechanism for coping, that everybody needs us so that we can deflect from ourselves. So when we need self care ourselves, we put more into more people, we start to do more for more people to get away from the fact that we need to take care of ourselves, right? That’s a huge, huge thing. When I see women that come to me on the digital side that have five or six different businesses, and all of them are failing. Although Why are you? Why are you doing all this? Oh, because I got this, I got this. No, no, no,

let’s take a step back. If we really go deep within what’s really going on, I’ve just been feeling so you know, whatever. And this is the way we deal with it. So crazy, right? We deal with it by doing more. And putting more on the plate and going to feel valued when we really need to step back and go, Oh, wait a minute, what’s going on inside of me? And then how do I deal with that? So that I can, I can take a step back, I can actually take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. Because we fill our heart a large level of guilt. Whenever we do anything that’s for ourselves that we feel like isn’t serving someone else, immediately, when in essence, it serves everyone, when we’re able to take a step back. So I wanted to address that because it’s something that I see a lot that a lot of people don’t talk about, but we do it so well, sometimes, right? We can manage everything we just do and all this stuff, that we’re doing all that stuff, because we don’t want to deal with what is right in front of us even working a lot. So that was a huge one for me.

Thank you so much for for that clarity. I think a lot of women needed to hear that. I get asked even without a mother, oh, you can really help people like I don’t have time, I’m not adding any more to my plate. Because you’ve asked me like we showed you like I said, if you want me to help you do X, Y and Z, then I will help you do X, Y and Z. But I’m not open this up to the world. Because like you say it is you only have so many hours in a day, and you have to come first before you can help anybody else. So for those of you that like Oh, well. I gotta help with the church, and they got to help with the kids. And then my neighbor, nice, nice cat sick like love. The church has 458 other members. It’s only five of you doing the work. The other 400 when they show up in a no lights, there’s no food, there’s no choir, either they don’t step up, or they go find a new church. And now you have a whole new congregation of people, you figure out who can really do the work. That’s all I’m gonna say. But it’s the same thing within your circle as well. So really, really reflect on that and really do so. And I can say one thing about a pandemic, I’ve seen more moms they’ve taken on more, but they are more open to ordering, right, they’re like order to groceries. And so they’re delegating out a using technology we wouldn’t have 1510 years ago to really help along those way. Even though many of you are highly overwhelmed right now between work, and homeschooling, and not having an outlet. So we we definitely want you to take in these tips right now. And definitely, definitely seek some some help. So Jessica, as we wind up any final words and thoughts, and be sure to let everybody know how to reach out to you, especially as it pertains to maternal mental health.

Yeah, so you can find me here on LinkedIn. Jessica, you can look, I think, actually, I think my handle is at Joel speaks. So you can find me there on LinkedIn and on Instagram. I have a lot of fun on Instagram. So definitely check me out on Instagram. It just speaks digital but my maternal health advocacy works happens on my Instagram page at maternal health speaker, I actually have a website full of virtual things that you can help yourself kind of get through if you’re having a bad day or if you just need a place to release or you’re just looking for resources. I have a whole website dedicated to that. So if you go to maternal health speaker link in my bio will take you there and you’ll be able to hear some really amazing stories as well as get into some meditation and listen to some some rain and all that good stuff that I put together on that website for moms because I was looking for that kind of thing and I couldn’t find it online so the virtual wellness room is there and available to everyone out all moms if you want to access it so that’s how you get in contact with me. Feel free to DM me, my DMS are open.

Now remember his jaw Jessica a walker speaks digital that speaks with an as you know my Southern twang, but definitely definitely follow her. And if you’re on tik tok, you got to check her out over there too. She might do some funny stuff. I’m just saying you can catch On a grant to, but I think you’re you’re like it more on Tick Tock. But if you’re looking for her maternal health information, you now know where to go. Jessica, thank you so much for joining me today sharing your story sharing why this matters and how many moms can get the help they need.

Can I just say one more thing? Sure why this superduper matters is because all these children are growing up in the homes with if a mom is going through something, and the behavior of the child is reflected, right, we need to deal with the issue of the core and not just skip over that part of it. Right? Yes. But let’s see what’s happening inside of the home and how we can actually help the home be a really nurturing place for that child or that student, you know, whatever element you’re connecting with this young person in, so that way we can change the whole paragraph paradigm around maternal mental health. Keep mom safe. Keep moms healthy, both mentally and physically and also take care of generations to come.

Absolutely take care of mom first. As someone said, Mommy is sick, all bets are off. So we got to make sure mommy is well, everybody. Thank you for joining us today. We will be back next time. Until then. Have a great week. Bye, everybody.