The Secret to Managing Emotional Highs and Lows, Specially with Goals
December 27, 2022
Emotions are very deceiving. They can convince you something is real when it's not, or that something is a right course of action when it isn't. This episode will give you the emotional intelligence to make better decisions, specially as it relates to goals and resolutions.
Welcome back again, last episode, I continued the discussion about the emotional high of setting goals and resolutions.
To recap, emotions of accomplishment are not necessarily released from taking action or achieving a goal, but from merely setting one.
In fact, action can replace those chemicals with resistance, doubt, and fear.
Therefore, it’s important to not get lost in emotions!
Most people make decisions on feelings.
They base their decisions on what feels right in the moment.
Unfortunately, what feels right can be very deceiving.
To understand what I mean, it helps to understand my personal journey of managing emotions.
The reason I sought personal development is because, at a certain point, I had severe emotional challenges
I was cycling through intense feelings, very rapidly, with fierce highs and lows.
One minute I was happy, and wanted to save the world, another minute, the complete opposite.
One minute I was convinced a certain option or goal was the right course of action, the next minute, something completely different.
In the moment, that specific thought or decision “felt” so right
Once the emotions shifted, I was somewhere else.
There is one and “only” one thing that helped me get a grip on this
It’s a concept I’ve not heard talked about anywhere, but it was the most instrumental thing in managing this mayhem.
It’s the concept of the 3 Convincers.
That is, there are 3 ways you can be convinced of something
1. Logical evidence
2. Physical evidence
3. Via Emotions.
To illustrate, if I was holding a toy boat, how could I convince you that it floats?
1. I can use "logic" and say, the material the boat is made of is less dense than water, and less dense objects float to the top.
2. I could place the boat in water and you can "physically" see it float.
3. Then there is the “emotional” convincer. It doesn’t use logical or physical evidence, but relies solely on feelings.
"Oh my God, this boat is so amazing! It does all these cool things, like float in water! I'm having hours and hours of fun with it, because it never sinks!"
Such feelings bypass the logical and physical parts of the mind, and influences us directly.
Emotions can convince you to do sorts of things – even things that are harmful.
This is how advertising convinces us to buy products that are not good for us.
What are Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and McDonald’s slogan?
"Cool," "Open Happiness," "I’m Loving It!"
They are inciting emotions.
If you look at logical and physical evidence, cigarettes, soft-drinks, and fast food are the worst things you can put in your body.
However, advertising that is emotionally charged will bypass the logic and physical evidence, and create a strong pull toward it - a pull that is difficult to resist!
It’s not just advertising that uses emotions to influence our behavior, but also your mind!
It will convince you that someone doesn’t like you, when in fact they have no opinion.
You can be convinced that something is difficult, without ever trying.
As it relates to goals and resolutions, the mind will convince you that:
- something is a right choice when it’s not.
- that you’ll stick with a goal, when in reality, you won’t.
- or you’ll easily pick up where you leave off, when that’s not the case.
Understanding this is the only way I got a grip on my emotional mayhem
I learned to be extremely critical of my emotions.
I learned to look for the logic or physical evidence to support the emotional high or low I was in.
Although my emotions are saying one thing, what is the logical or physical evidence suggesting?
I made sure the emotional high didn’t persuade me to do something that wasn’t good or that I couldn’t stick with long enough to get done.
It curbed me from wild, erratic, and impulsive behavior, (and even purchases), and allowed me to stick with things long enough to get them done.
Next episode, I’m going to show you how to apply this to your new years goals and resolutions, so make sure to hit like and subscribe so you are notified of these fantastic episodes.
Before ending, I want to say, my emotions are questioning whether this made sense to you, so leave a comment with your thoughts :)
Until next time.