Hi, this is Wayne Brown from Life Back On Track. Welcome to the latest episode.

Now, I have been sent a question, but before I answer that, I was actually sent another question. This one obviously won't take long to answer. But they asked me do you do all of that fancy editing when you do your recordings? Do you do multiple takes? Do you pick the best one? Do you edit it together? The answer is no, I don't do any of that. The reason being is, I want these episodes that I record to be like a snapshot, so I record them in one take. If I make mistakes, if I make goofs, it doesn't matter because life isn't perfect. Life is made up of little glitches, little problems, little challenges and that's okay. So, I believe if I leave it in the episode and you hear it, you hear it being real, then you hopefully will learn to be a little easier on yourself if you make a mistake because you hear me making mistakes and realising that it's okay, it's not the end of the world. So hopefully through my simple recording of these, where I just do a snapshot with how I am in the moment, what I'm thinking about what's forefront in my thoughts, hopefully that'll get you living a little more in the moment, and being more gentle with yourself when and if you make a mistake.

So this next question was sent in by Rachel from Essex in the UK and she's asking about children doing chores. Now if you're a parent and you're wondering about this, especially if you've got little kids, absolutely, they should be doing chores. Because the whole premise of chores is that your children learn how to contribute and be a part of being in that household, being in part of that family that they are in. The other thing as well, if you've listened to one of my earlier podcast where I talk about one of the major goals of parenting, which is to raise children that are capable, confident, independent chores contributes to that. So, it gives them capabilities. So, from a very young age, from the age of two, a child can learn to put their dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket, they can learn very simple tasks that are age appropriate at a very young age and progress up as they get older, to more involved ones to take more time, more effort, more skill, so that by the time they move into adulthood they should basically be able to run a household on their own.

They should be able to cook, and clean, and do all of this stuff and fix stuff. So the other thing that Rachel wanted to know, sorry, forgot her name for a second. The the other thing that Rachel wanted to know was what's the deal with pocket money and how do you pick who does what chores and all of this sort of thing. So it depends of course, on how many children you have and what their age are, so Chores always have to be age appropriate.

When they're young, they start off learning how to do things that don't create jobs for other people. In other words, if your child's two and three, like I said, they can put their dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket, that's a very simple one, I get undressed to have my bath or my shower, I put the clothes in the basket, it's something that's very quick, it's easy,  they learn to do that, it's automatic. Now if you don't start teaching that and they move up through their childhood and you're always running after them putting their clothes in their dirty clothes basket, they become an adult, they can't do that simple task of putting their dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket.

If they can't do something that simple, anyone who's looking at them as a partner will go "Well. If they can't even do something that simple, they're certainly not going to be able to do a more complex task". So you're giving them chores that are age appropriate, not only gives them a skill set, it increases their value as a future parent, as a potential partner and as a human being, because skills you learn at home translate out into the real world. They translate to what you do as a job. So if you're doing a job and you learn that certain things are, they just have to be done, you don't think about it.

One of the big challenges I used to have was if I was in a workshop and you'll get people that can't put the milk in the fridge, it's like, how can that be difficult? You use it, you put it back in the fridge. I was used to be baffled by that one. So learning those skills starts at a very young age. As they get older, they get a little more complex, they get more time consuming, they're things that take a little longer, like hanging the clothes out on the clothes line, takes a little more effort, takes a little more attention.

Therefore it's something you don't give to a two year old, you give it to a child that's obviously considerably older. Make sure it's age appropriate. In regards to pocket money, now, this is a tricky one that some people struggle with. Some people don't do pocket money at all. That's fine. That's your choice. For me, there's certain chores that are mandatory, you have to do them. You don't get a say in it. It contributes to the running of the household. It includes you as being part of that family.

So what you're doing there is you're letting them see that they are a contributing member to the family, they have worth within the family. Things like setting the table for dinner, helping cook, clean up, put your dirty clothes into dirty clothes basket, that sort of thing are contributing to the running of the household, therefore not negotiable. Okay, you just do them because you do them.

Other chores, like if your Children decide to wash your car, for example, that's not something that contributes to the running of the household per se. Therefore you can give pocket money for that. So you say to them, you wash my car and, of course, you make the money age appropriate. You don't give $50 to an eight year old for washing your car. But if your teenager washes the car, you can give them $10 or $15, you just make sure it's age appropriate money. Also, that's where you start teaching them about putting some of their pocket money aside, about investing it, about saving up for things.

The difference between discretionary spending and mandatory spending, all of this sort of thing. Chores are a massive part of a child's self esteem and self worth. So, as they are contributing to the family, they're developing a skill set, they are developing capability, the more they do,  they develop confidence and the more they develop confidence and capability, the more they develop independence, and you've rocked it as a parent.

There you go, dead simple. I hope that answers your question, Rachel? Yes, they should do chores, work out what's mandatory, work out what's additional, where they can earn pocket money, and make sure it's age appropriate. The big thing is, make sure they do it. Don't give them a choice in the mandatory, it's you either do them or you do them. That's your only two choices. I remember years ago, my stepson, he argued about some of his chores and I said, that's fine. I'll do your chores, you can do mine, and I started listing off all of the things that I do in the running of the household, and he was like, "No, it's all right. I'll do my chores".

So, letting them know that they don't have a massive amount, but it's necessary and it contributes, and it also shows them, in the real world, everyone contributes. So, regardless of your status, where you sit in the hierarchy in a workplace, everyone contributes to the running of the company. No-one is more or less important than anyone else and everyone has responsibilities.

Having chores as a child, is absolutely important. Really important. Don't become one of these parents that does everything for the kids because you will hamstring them and they will not be better off in the real world. So make sure your kids have got chores, make sure you enforce that, so they become a better person, a better value person, when they transition into adulthood.

Here we go. I hope you've enjoyed it. You've got something out of it. If you've got any other questions you want me to answer, feel free to send them through and I'll keep answering them as best I can I can until the next episode, have a great time, look after yourself and remember, here's to a good life

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Thanks for listening.