Hi, this is Wayne Brown from Life Back On Track.

Welcome back to the latest episode. In this one, I want to talk about something that a lot of people talk about but don't thoroughly understand. When I was looking for my partner, I created a concept called a "Dating Template", which means I would go through and work out not only who I wanted as a partner, but who I needed as a partner.

 So that person who could help me create an environment where I could become the best version of myself. One of the things you have to do is, you have to list the attributes, the beliefs, the attitudes, the behaviours, that you're potential partner has so that they could be someone with whom you enjoy spending a lot of time.

When I started doing this with people and taking them through the exercise, one of the things that they say they wanted is a partner is a sense of humour. Now the problem is, a lot of people say they want a partner with a sense of humour, but they don't define what a sense of humour is. Now, humour is a very peculiar thing because what one person finds funny, another one won't. There are many different types of humour. There's slapstick. There's black humour. There's wordplay. There's all sorts of different types of humour. So if you're going to have a partner who has a sense of humour. You need to define what type of humour that  you're talking about, and also, why?

Why do you want them to have a sense of humour? Why does that have to be high on your list? I'll give you an example to explain this. So with myself, I like a particular sense of humour. I'm really into things like The Two Ronnie's, Monty Python, a lot of the older British style humour but also wordplay, I enjoy wordplay, also cultural references is something that I enjoy.

When I first met my wife, she mentioned that she wanted to go to a Fawlty Towers Interactive Dinner Theatre. Straight away I thought, if she's into Fawlty Towers, she's got my sense of humour. I took her out on a date and yes, sure enough, she had a very good sense of humour. Of course, the problem is she's got a very good sense of humour and very quick and enjoys teasing me. Never in a malicious way, which is a good thing. However, she is very good at taking the mickey out of me. That's okay. I'm okay with it. It's good fun. She enjoys that. Like I said, it's not malicious, which is the key.

The other thing as well, is the why. The reason I wanted her to have a sense of humour or my potential partner to have a sense of humour is, they have a propensity to not take life overly seriously. So there's aspects of life that, yes, are serious and have to think about and plan and work through. However, a good chunk of it is frivolous, fun, lighthearted.

They've got that ability to step back, and also they can take the mickey out of themselves. That is one of the things I look for because of those things. I defined what the sense of humour was, so she had to be similar to me. She doesn't do the cultural reference thing as much, however, we do still enjoy particular humour together, because of that similarity with Fawlty Towers and that sort of thing.

Being able to hone in on it and also define why, is absolutely critical. Because if you can do the definition of their type of humour and the justification for the why, then you can also ask yourself that about other things. Like you have people, they say, I want a partner I can trust. Okay, well, what part of trust? Because trust has many different aspects and why trust? Why respect? Why anything, If you can explain it, then it becomes easier to spot it in a person and also utilise it.

A lot of people they're very vague when it comes to listing what they wanted in a partner. Being able to hone in on it and to define why these are the things that are going to make a big difference when you're out there looking for your partner. If you can be absolutely crystal clear on what it is and why? Because if you can't explain why it should be on your list, then it just becomes a wish, it's a vague dream.

You need to be able to put it into concrete terms and how it will benefit you as an individual and the two of you as a couple. Because if you're aware of where the strength is because of that, then you can maximise it to make the relationship you've always wanted. So it's a nice quick one for today.

Hone in on what you want and have a reason why. All right, Have a good one. Look after yourselves. Thanks for listening. And remember, here's to a good life.

You can listen to the Life Back On Track podcast on your favourite platform by visiting our podcast website. Click HERE to check it out.

 You can also listen to my radio show “All About Relationships” which has its own podcast on your favourite platform by clicking HERE

Thanks for listening.