Hi, This is Wayne Brown from Life Back On Track.

Welcome to the latest recording. In this recording, I want to continue on from what I was talking about in the last episode, which was, well, the last episode was, should men be crying? Of course, my answer was yes, and I went into it in a reasonable depth.

I wanted to continue on with that because it's something that I feel is very important, and it's vital, because it underlines, it underpins, it is a foundation for a lot of healthy relationships, a lot of healthy mental attitudes in men, a lot of balance being brought back to men. The sad thing is, as young men we're taught, and I know this was true of myself because my father was raised in that generation where men didn't cry and it was all of that sort of rubbish.

For myself, that has been something that's been very challenging to overcome. I know for many years I was ashamed to cry. I felt weak. If I did, I felt that there was something wrong with me and what I realised after many years and doing a fair about amount of work on myself and also attending numerous weekends and workshops was that my inability, my reluctance to cry was actually a major hindrance. In fact, it was probably the most damaging attitude that I had.

What I found was because I wasn't able to cry. It caused me to suppress a lot of things which came out in unhealthy ways. So what I have found now is because I have worked on myself in depth and at length, is now I'm comfortable not only actually crying, and having that ability to acknowledge when I'm sad or connecting to the, what they call the 'negative emotions', it also allows me to be comfortable crying for the so called 'positive emotions'. So pride, connection, those sorts of things.

So I find nowadays I'm a lot more comfortable and a lot more capable of crying not just on my own but in front of people. And what I've found is because I can then acknowledge the emotions. I can actually identify them a lot easier. If I feel the urge to cry coming up, I can tap into that and I can recognise, first of all, if it's a so called 'positive' or a so called 'negative' emotion and which aspect of each of those two options I am actually feeling.

So is it a sadness that I'm feeling? Is it a disappointment? Is it a frustration? Is it something else? And on the other side, is it because I'm proud? Is it because I'm connecting?

It has enabled me to become a much more rounded, and I feel healthier person overall because I'm not suppressing things. It also has enabled me to be able to tap into when I'm angry and I can tap into which aspect of angry that I am. Which aspect of just about any of the emotions, like even happy. What part of happy am I? What version?

So if you open one area of your emotions I have found and I've seen in many others, the ability to tap into and connect with all of the other aspects of yourself becomes a lot greater. So the title of this episode was about if you're watching a sad movie and you cried, do you feel broken? For a lot of men we feel broken because as that shame, the guilt, and all of this sort of thing tied in where if we cry, we're not masculine, you know, we're not tapped into our manliness and all this sort of stuff.

So if you're watching a movie that's sad and it's actually designed to tap into those emotions that bring that up, if you're suppressing that, that's also going to be suppressing other parts of your life. So for myself, I remember one of the first movies that elicited a massive crying response in myself was "Schindler's List", and there were so many aspects of that, that tapped into myself, I was looking back at history and looking at my own attitudes towards people, and that enabled me to look at that, to analyse it, to accept back into myself these things and then work on them.

So ultimately it enabled me to become a healthier, happier, more rounded, balanced person where I felt more complete. So nowadays I welcome all of my emotions. So if you're watching a movie that's designed to illicit, you know, a crying response, for example, and you're not crying, you might want to look at why is there a shame about it? Is there a guilt as a hesitancy because it's not masculine or if you're a woman, same thing.

What part of you is resisting acknowledging that emotion? So being able to tap into that and become a whole, a more whole and more complete person is probably one of the most empowering things you'll ever do. So if you're watching it, you're not broken, Okay?

One of the big beliefs that I push onto a lot of my clients is you're not broken. No one's broken. We're doing the best we can with the tools we have. And if you're struggling to connect to crying or feeling that sorrow or whatever it is, it's something else. It's not that you're breaking, something else has a stronger hold over you than that desire to connect to your sorrow or whatever it is. So you're not broken.

You just need to acknowledge it, work on it, accept it, bring it back into yourself. And what I find is because I let myself feel it. I can get past it quicker, and that's with all the emotions. So if I'm angry, if I acknowledge it and sit in it for a while, I can get out of it quicker. I don't tend to wallow in it like I used to, so you'll find that it's probably one of the healthier and better things that you will do so tap into your your sadness. Let yourself feel it, and you'll probably be a happier, more rounded person overall.

So that was that. I just felt the need to continue on from the last episode and just finalise that so, quick episode this time I hope you've enjoyed it. I hope it inspires you to go and watch some sad movies and tap into your sadness. So, yeah, until the next episode, look after yourself and remember, here's to a good life.

You can listen to the Life Back On Track podcast on your favourite platform by visiting our podcast website. Click HERE to check it out. 

You can also listen to my radio show “All About Relationships” which has its own podcast on your favourite platform by clicking HERE 

Thanks for listening.