Dealing with Conflict in Your Relationships
November 8, 2022
Conflict has existed since the very first humans... and it's not going away anytime soon. However, we don't have to allow it to ruin our lives and our relationships. In this episode, David Dubé shares several techniques you can begin to use to help mitigate the impact of anger and hate that can come from conflict.
The intention of this episode is a de-escalation of the situation, not necessarily problem-solving.
When the situation gets heated for any reason, our minds focus on the incident and/or outcome and in doing so we magnify the event which intensifies our emotions. This all occurs in a loop in our minds.
Now that we know how the mind operates in these situations how can we modify it?
Well, in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) they talk about something called a Pattern-Interrupt. What is a Pattern-Interrupt you ask? If you think of an LP (Record), a CD, or a DVD they're all very similar; they're disk-shaped objects that have ridges encircling them and within those ridges are bumps or indicators that represent data that is read by the head of the player. When the head goes over the bumps or indicators it plays a track that's either heard or seen and heard by your audio/video player. Those tracks are pre-written onto that disk.
Now, the question is, what happens if those ridges, bumps, or indicators are scratched? Does it play the same after it's been scratched?
No, it does not and it cannot.
A Pattern-Interrupt is you scratching the pre-programmed file or playback of the incident and/or outcome that's being played within the mind of the emotionally enraged person.
This is what we want to do to those who are engaged in an argument.
My father would use this technique on me as a child, and it worked wonders. Of course, my father never read a book or was ever told this was an NLP technique... it just came naturally to him. The point is, we don't have to allow people to say and do things that will both hurt themselves and their relationships - and sometimes for a lifetime.
To de-escalate a heated argument is always beneficial to all parties involved.
If this was helpful, share it!
If you're dealing with conflict and you're unsure of how to resolve it and would like assistance, you can book an appointment with me, David Dubé, and I'll help guide you through it. Just visit https://relationships-first.com
Join our private community @ https://relationships-first.com
To find out more and work with David Dubé go to https://daviddube.com
When the situation gets heated for any reason, our minds focus on the incident and/or outcome and in doing so we magnify the event which intensifies our emotions. This all occurs in a loop in our minds.
Now that we know how the mind operates in these situations how can we modify it?
Well, in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) they talk about something called a Pattern-Interrupt. What is a Pattern-Interrupt you ask? If you think of an LP (Record), a CD, or a DVD they're all very similar; they're disk-shaped objects that have ridges encircling them and within those ridges are bumps or indicators that represent data that is read by the head of the player. When the head goes over the bumps or indicators it plays a track that's either heard or seen and heard by your audio/video player. Those tracks are pre-written onto that disk.
Now, the question is, what happens if those ridges, bumps, or indicators are scratched? Does it play the same after it's been scratched?
No, it does not and it cannot.
A Pattern-Interrupt is you scratching the pre-programmed file or playback of the incident and/or outcome that's being played within the mind of the emotionally enraged person.
This is what we want to do to those who are engaged in an argument.
My father would use this technique on me as a child, and it worked wonders. Of course, my father never read a book or was ever told this was an NLP technique... it just came naturally to him. The point is, we don't have to allow people to say and do things that will both hurt themselves and their relationships - and sometimes for a lifetime.
To de-escalate a heated argument is always beneficial to all parties involved.
If this was helpful, share it!
If you're dealing with conflict and you're unsure of how to resolve it and would like assistance, you can book an appointment with me, David Dubé, and I'll help guide you through it. Just visit https://relationships-first.com
Join our private community @ https://relationships-first.com
To find out more and work with David Dubé go to https://daviddube.com