Unapologetically BOLD: I'm not sorry for....
My limitations with Shawn Harper
December 7, 2020
Do you have limitations? Sure, we all do. But what are you doing about them? In this session, we talk with Former NFL player Shawn Harper. Shawn has had countless limitations but one thing that sets him apart from many is he manifested his dream into a reality. Listen in as Shawn talks about why he is not sorry for his limitations.
Do you have limitations?

Sure, we all do. But what are you doing about them? In this session, we talk with Former NFL player Shawn Harper. Shawn has had countless limitations but one thing that sets him apart from many is he manifested his dream into a reality.

Listen in as Shawn talks about why he is not sorry for his limitations. 

About the guest: Never a dull moment. Shawn Harper has helped transform thousands of corporate environments, built leadership, trained teams and impacted youth development in schools, and churches with high energy keynote speeches that activate winners.

Shawn Harper knows what it feels like to encounter failures, roadblocks and disappointments. Growing up on the south side of Columbus, Ohio, Shawn had to overcome failure, adversity and learning disabilities. But he discovered the secrets to unlocking “The Winning Edge,” and now speaks all over the world training others to win in business and in life. 

When Shawn Harper steps on the stage, he unpacks strategies and techniques used by professional athletes to compete and win at the highest levels. His unique no excuses approach will leave your audience ready to win as individuals and in teams.

Transcription bot is trying its best so don't give it to hard of a time for the errors:

[00:00:02] spk_0: this is visited in this show is brought to you by Safety FM. Welcome to unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for if you are a person that is tired of apologizing for being you, you know the human part of you that sometimes feels like it has to be different at home versus work versus play, Theo. Human side that just wants to be hot, humble, open and transparent about your wants, desires and uniqueness. If you answered yes, this podcast is for you. Join me, Emily Elrod as I dive into conversations with Amazing Guest about what you're not sorry for and creative and loving ways. Let's get started. I'm so blessed today to have Sean with me. Thank you for joining me today, Sean.

[00:00:55] spk_1: And thanks for having me. I just love love to have an opportunity to share particularly. And I love the fact that that's kind of one of the cornerstones of what you do is just full transparency. There's enough fluff out there. People like B s meters be like tripping off. But you know what? I'm just gonna shoot well and because it's honestly, it's extremely refreshing to have that opportunity. So I hope you got your seatbelts s because we're gonna have some fun today.

[00:01:24] spk_0: I love it. Love it. Love it. So tell people that don't know who you are. I have just a little bit about yourself.

[00:01:30] spk_1: Yeah, well, you know what? I played about seven years professional football with the Rams and the Colts in the NFL. Europe had an awesome time playing retired years ago. And I own my own security company, my own security firm. And I do also coaching and consulting. So basically, what I was able to do was to take the information, the knowledge, the concepts and the principles and laws I learned playing professional football, professional sports, and then I kind of merged it with corporate America because I got really, honestly, And since we're in a transparent show, right, I got sick and tired of, you know, entering the corporate world, and everyone's like, Hey, you know, you have tow. You know just how we do it in corporate world, best practices, good networking events and blah blah hand out your business cards. And on one day I was like, Wait a second. Now, you know, um, professional sports, especially the national football League is probably the most one of the most successful businesses or, most winning his businesses. Farmers revenue in the world, period. Hands down, eh? NBA MLB, Come on. Maybe there's something you can learn from us. And so I started grafting and pulling concept that I learned from such, you know, playing football at a competitive level, and I begin to apply it towards or for corporate America. And the results have been down. Astonished.

[00:02:57] spk_0: I love it, I can only imagine, especially with your tenacity and your perseverance and the grit that you have to be able. Thio, take that in. And I know it's gonna be refreshing for others just to be really, Because, like you said earlier, the fluff, there's so much of it. So I think that goes great into what our topic is today and what you're not sorry for. So I'm gonna ask you Hey, Sean, tell the world what you are unapologetically bold about.

[00:03:30] spk_1: Well, if I could yeah, be totally honest. There's, You know, there's several things, but if I could focus on to it, it would be awesome. Uh, I'm not sorry for who I am. I'm sorry for being who I am and what God has called me to be. You know, there's a difference between image and identity, okay? And and once, once we avoid of our identity than we do everything possible, we spend so much time, energy, emotion, uh, trying to create an image, something that's external for The thing about that is that God didn't call your image God called your identity and many people who lose their purpose in life because they're chasing on identity first. I mean, they're they're chasing an image versus chasing and identity. The second thing that's so devastating about that is that whoever now has power over the image now has power over you. Look what happened right now. If social meeting is that no more, you're done. No social media for nobody or just for you. For you know, 120 days, some people would lose it. They would go because their whole image is an avatar. It is external vs internal from the eternal. So I am not sorry. And to be really honest and transparent, that's tough to not. Sorry is it is a It is a perpetual. I'm not sorry. It is a battle to be or to say I'm not sorry, because this world system is always devaluing you and telling you who you are, who you're not. And once you're reacting, you can never grew act. And so it's No, I'm not sorry the next day. No, I'm not sorry the next week. No, I'm not sorry. And that is my fight. The fight is for your identity.

[00:05:27] spk_0: I love that. And the thing that I hear in that, too, is that not letting things own you. What experiences have you had it in the past that did on you or could have own you? You're glad that you let go

[00:05:45] spk_1: off. You know, football. Let's just say, you know, I've been playing football since the second grade. Like the second grade I was playing. I was hitting since the second grade and then one day after second grade. Third grade. Ninth grade. Eighth grade. 10th grade, 12th grade Junior college, 44 years in college. In the in one day it's over. It doesn't slow down. It doesn't stop. It's done like a train stops on a down kick you off and it keeps going. Now you have to dig back deep. You have to rediscover. You have to re introduce yourself to yourself and to learn to be a comfortable with who you are, who you were created to be. That that was tough. It's tough for a lot of athletes. And by the way, if you have either high school, collegiate or professional athletes that, you know, cut him some slack, man, because I tell you what, you expect us. You know, the train on the off season, the you know, Hey, that's Shonda outside linebacker all throughout high school and that then your identity and one day it's over. It's like you don't even know the other person. Oh, you know, it's the athlete, and it's really hard for you to relate. But give that person some slack and let them rediscover who they are.

[00:07:05] spk_0: And that makes me think I was a collegiate cheerleader, and that's what everybody identified as like, you gotta be happy all the time. You gotta be right, you know, and it's like and you gotta be on point performing 24 7. It's like day. I have off days, but you can't have off days eso and this is something I actually wrote this morning to somebody. Um and she was talking about how she feels like she's on a roller coaster. And I was like, Yes, I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster at times with this and that how it's important to not put your identity into your work. You can put your your what you've learned your perseverance, the skills into it. But your identity is more than your output. And so what have you learned from that From how being performing 24 7 and then that being stopped. You know what? What were some of the key lessons that you could talk to people about, that for next, Just for them to, like continual on that dream. Continue on that purpose, even though it looks like everything's falling apart.

[00:08:18] spk_1: Yeah. So one of the things that that I would encourage everyone to do is to nurture their identity is to minister to their activity. God, once, once you in the office, you try to take it home with you. You know, you fight that, trust me. As a business owner, it is possible at times, and I'm not gonna flip you out. Be like Yes, this is what I do. It's been a struggle for me, but I But I've learned. And I noticed that when I'm able to make that distinction and when I'm able to compartmentalize, uh, it puts things in proper perspective. Plus, my family enjoys it. Be enjoying me, you know, which is huge. So fighting for that separation. No being able to, you know, having events with not having, you know, your cell phone right next to that stuff. I'm not going to sit here and say, this is what I've perfected because, you know, I'm I'm extremely driven type a personality type of guy. And so I'm like, I'm I'm turned on 24 7. But a finding that time to separate is vital, because what happens is that you're able to hear better. Your ableto have a proper perspective and you're able Thio, you're more clearing in. Like if I could use the word 10 point, But you're more clear with your judgments. Oh, picture this picture your occupation your crap as a bluff. You're wearing the gloves, but under the glove is your hand. Don't never get to the point where you're like You know what I am the glove or and it's like it's that is that is very dangerous when you get to that point.

[00:10:12] spk_0: Oh, I love that because it makes me think of a book. I was I'm listening, Thio, and it's talking about basically the Elefant on the writer kind of thing and and all its saying is is very similar to that that we, whenever we put our identity, were when we shut ourselves off to other perspectives. We put ourself in a place where we're on a higher stage than others. And so humility kind of get knocked with it as well. So what are some of those humbling lessons? Because I know the thing is that you're not sorry for some of the limitations that you have. What are some of those humbling perceived limitations that other people thought that has now put you at this mental mental fitness, like this social wearing and emotional intelligence that you know that you can grind it out even if failure comes? You know, the next level, you know, what are some of the things that you've experienced in your life to get you to that point?

[00:11:11] spk_1: Oh, my God. You know, Um, I was challenged educational. I was challenged economically. In fact, you know, I had left but was documented. Fortified learning disabilities kicked out of school disciplinary issues way weren't poor. We were, uh it is a big difference, right? Yeah. So? So? So every just about everything that was thrown at me happened. Don't at me. I started my entire life. I could not complete the sentence to a college. I was the bottom of the barrel. And But one of the things I've learned is that you can go back to those challenges in those situations, and you can switch it. Let me give you an example. I remember when they had first documented me with learning disabilities. Um, sometime later. Well, some years later, To be honest, I said, You know what? I'm not disabled. I'm uniquely innate. That's a switch. You know, get. And it's like, you know what? Everyone has strengths, and everyone has weakness is the greater the weakness. In one area is the glare of the strength in another area. You know, most people don't know that I stuttered my entire life. I could not completed symptoms to college. I said one day. I'm gonna be a great speaker. So I s O So I've learned how to recast the story. And, you know, this is what happened. Well, you know, you were abused. I understand that. But that made me a more focused individual, E. I take a lot of my setbacks. And you know what? I'm speaking to somebody. I take a lot of my setbacks. I take a lot of my failures, and I turned. I turned them into tuition winning. You know what? Hey, that was tuition for your win. Later in life, you gotta pay tuition somewhere. So my my mistakes were my tuition. And that's how I look at it. That's tuition. Keep moving. You can't. You can't be afraid of failure because failure is your friend failures how you learn in life. Life teaches you through failure. Think about how you learn how to walk. You know, you you stood up little Johnny Little Sally stood up and he or she fail instantly, and then they encourage you to get back up, and then they encourage you to get back up. The challenge in our culture, I believe, is that there's not enough. There's no other people encouraging other people to get back up. The average millionaire has filed for bankruptcy. 3.5.

[00:13:47] spk_0: Wow. Yeah, that's hard. That's a That's a stat that I've actually never heard. But it makes me because I e I was blessed to have a father who has always told me he goes I know what feels like a million different ways not to make a slicer, but in one way that I did it right gave us a lot that we have, you know, and in talking about I say it all the time is fell often fell fast but feel safe. You know, there are ways that you need to embrace the failures. And I love how you flip the script on it too. And I love pay the tuition because I was talking to somebody the other day about this, that we all go through life and some may have hard lives and than others per se, Whatever. I feel like we all have things that happened to us. Some people talk about it, some don't. But you all have toe. You all have to do the work. Things are gonna happen. You all have to work. But what you do with that work and that mindset afterwards, is what we're or break you. So what are some of the things that you learn? So, like mance Mance set shifts that you have those paradigm shifts that you had tohave to get you where you are today?

[00:15:03] spk_1: Well, well, I'll share one with you. God, if you live in the past Your Dinah pressed, so that's not even I mean, that is for that's for sad events, disappointing events. And as for great events, you know, if you like, uh, live in the past because of you know, setbacks and you know mishaps, then you're a victim of the past. If you are focused on the past cause that was the glory days, well, then you're living in the past, you know you're there, and it's like each day is ticking and like you're trying to recreate something that's gone and like, You know what? You have to have a short memory. One of things I learned playing in the NFL is like, you know, a receiver can catch like Peyton Manning can throw the part and and the receiver catches it. But if the receiver catches the ball. That means the defender didn't do his job well, so guess what next? Siri's next. Siri's. You know what's about to happen? The coordinator is coming right back at him the next within two. Siri's the same players coming again because we're gonna make you were gonna keep rain this play until you stop it. So I guess. But if you're blind up and Peyton Manning is the quarterback and he's the receiving like man, I hope he doesn't get burned up. They don't burn me again. Oh, it's gonna happen. You're done. You're done. It's called going in the tank at that point s Oh, you know what? Every every day is new, every player's new, and that's how you have to keep you focused or focus. Sorry.

[00:16:50] spk_0: No, I agree. And you know, I love Pacman. Tennessee family s. So you threw that out for me? Uh, but yes, it's so what I love, too is that the past, it helps us to learn. And what you said is don't stay in it. Here's one thing that I found is a differentiating factor between people who can go forward and move with. It is gratitude the Kratt itude that comes from your mess now turns into a message. It's now blessing. It is the thing that you could bless others with, and I know that's what you do. In all sense, that's that's why your motivational speaker, but also the work that you do. You could bless others. When did that get home for you, that gratitude and blessings were part of it. You

[00:17:42] spk_1: know, I don't know exactly when it hit home for me, but I tell you when it often hits home for me, okay, it often hits home for me when I, you know, relax. And I started thinking of how many opportunities or how many mishaps that could have happened in my life that that I wouldn't have made it. And and and to be honest, there's times in the situations and circumstances where, where, where I should know make and there are other people out there that were better than you know. When they in practice, the person's me is below. That person can't play football ever again. You know, once you get so far or to a certain level, you stop beating your own chest and you're like, wow, But for the grace of God, there's all grazed. Just like, you know, I could have been hit with, you know, a storm could have came through and wiped up, wiped out the company. I could be driving down the street in the semi truck and hit me. Once you get so far in this is like, you know what? It's grace. It's all it's always. Trust me if you listen if you never get to that point, I feel sorry for you because you're gonna be humbled. And I feel even more sorry for you if you're not.

[00:19:04] spk_0: Because the other thing too is it put you for me. This is for May. It puts me more into my purpose, will walk it out to know I didn't get your by chance, right? So I got here. I feel it because I was favored and blessed. And there's these opportunities and you can call it whatever you want. I'm you know, I'm spiritually so I believe it's God, the grace of God that got me their year. So when people don't live in that humility that comes from it I agree with you like that could get scary. I see some people that the, you know, poke out their chests flying and it's just like, Oh, something, something. And I don't want to manifest or say anything negative. But something is eventually going to get because it's again. It's going back to the work. Everybody has to deal with their own work and they have to do the work. I've never not seen somebody get humbled. I've been humbled more time.

[00:20:04] spk_1: And I tell you what, even Mawr, or just a disappointing, is that there's so many lessons. Life is always teach life, of teaching you lessons like WiFi. You know, it's always lessons are everywhere. But you know what the more haunted arrogant you get, the less you learn and the less you listen. Okay, it's like, you know, seven year old kid gets, you know? I mean, let's listen. Listen, I remember when this whole Kobe thing first hit when it first hit, I'm out of town. I'm in Virginia and this guy is like where I'm at a restaurant. This guy, you know, I think he had a bit too much to drink, honest, and he walks over to my table and he's like, Well, then all of a sudden he stops, he could and he had, like, a sober moment. He said, You know the way that you help help you with this cove It is vitamin D three and then he went right back. Thio. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. Now, 67 months later, it's all over the press. Vitamin D three. Vitamin D three. Vitamin D three. Sometimes you just have to be able to hear, but you can't hear if you're arrogant in your halting.

[00:21:20] spk_0: And I love that, too, because I'll say, there's actually listen I had earlier today and and that's the thing. What I found is, yes, lessons. A lot of the times comes in work, and I am in the work that I do. But at home, I've learned so much. Children teach me daily if you want to be in the leadership business, like because leading Children to be upstanding citizens that can contribute back. It's not for the faint of heart, but today, like we have chickens at our house. And so I told my daughter to put up the chickens. But as the leader, I did not give her clear expectations and in that lack of clear expectations, she thought that she should go in the brush area, which for me, it's common sense. Hey, you should go in there. You know, there's briars. There's other things. But she still did it, you know? And she went through an ant bed and probably had 16 17 bites on her leg. I'm just like I'm the worst mother ever. So what can I learn from this? Once you told me I was a good mom, so maybe feel better, but to it also taught me clear expectations anywhere. Communication is key. You cannot make assumptions. You can't assume of people's lives and you can't assume your Children as well, e how assumptions taught you things and in the and driving around and trying toe avoid some of those and how they helped you. I guess in the arrogance. Because that's what I feel like. A lot of arrogant people make assumptions about how your life, they see you as an NFL star. They're like you have had an easy one, you know, they don't see all the crap that came behind it. So what have you learned from that?

[00:23:04] spk_1: What have I learned from people's assumptions or for my assumptions,

[00:23:07] spk_0: both. Well,

[00:23:09] spk_1: yeah, Well, um, number one very important is that if you wanna win in life, you cannot allow other people's opinions to becoming reality. You can not allow that. You cannot allow them to put their expectations and assumptions on you. And you have to fight to keep that off of you. Which is why I don't like titles. Because once you have identified as a title, the first thing a first thing a person will do as they're sizing you up there, looking at your name and looking at your occupation there, you know, they're asking what do you do so that they can form you up or size you up so that they would know how to approach you, like example? If I meet an individual and I'm like, You know what? Yeah. Hi. You know, blah, blah, blah, you know, And this this is a great game, you know? My name is David. Hi. Hi, David. Well, who are you? You know, and what do you do? Because I'm trying to figure out, You know, I'm trying to engage my assumptions now or my level of communication Well, you know, I'm a pastor. Oh, well, praise the Lord. Everything changes. That's why I don't I don't like titles and the love ambiguity. I love to just move in and out. I'm just a big guy, you know, it's funny, but as far as me, um, is that to me that could be dangerous to me, That that can be dangerous, because I put a lot on myself at times, and I set my standards so super high. And if I don't achieve these standards within, you know, on the outside I'm smelling, but on the inside, like I learned how to just, you know, destroy and kill expectations and allow it to be tempered by God because, you know, expectations is assumptions and expectations are dangerous. I mean, I mean, we're talking that we've hopped, skipped and jumped around. We talked about the Bible, you know, it's like they didn't see Jesus because Jesus didn't meet their expectations, you know? You know, he didn't He wasn't the king, you know. He didn't come in the row, but, you know, he was like feeding the poor talking to a lady from Samaria. He was like, man, no, you can't do that. Kids get away from him. You know, don't you? Assumptions and expectations.

[00:25:44] spk_0: Yes, and it's There's somebody good things. I want to go with that one. The expectations to that I see it sometimes for me is I played like you were saying earlier, being Taipei, like go getter like high performer, I put him on myself. There's something I started doing, and I really like it so far is that I write out my task and then I give myself like a pep talk, and then I give myself a Basically, it's a note section on my barriers, my perceived barriers and its ways of saying I know myself and what we talked about earlier is to, you know, know yourself, own yourself so others don't own you so you can learn those lessons and develop it throughout time. So mind I know that I over think I know that I'm a go getter. I know sometimes I just need to stop and pause. But the funny thing that I write most of the time is give yourself Grace. Just get yourself some grace. It is okay to not be perfect. Just focus on progression and get to the next step. Just do your work. Continue to win.

[00:26:51] spk_1: Yeah, You know what? So you mentioned the word race. One of the things I've learned is is that judgment basically has no master. What? I mean, what is when you start judging others? That same energy. When you fail, you judge yourself, you don't give grace the others the same energy you won't give grace to yourself.

[00:27:20] spk_0: Graces graces something so empowering for May. And it's all about just it is unapologetically not judging others and caring and love. Because what I say is you can't love others if you don't love yourself first and like you're selling, focus focus on yourself and you can't lead others if you can't lead yourself first. And this is something I talked about somebody with somebody the other day is that the leaders of today majority of them did not have some of the trainings on self care as per se my generation has you're you're an athlete. So you've had you know about self care and how to take care of yourself and performing at a top level. What would you tell leaders about self care and the importance and of taking the time.

[00:28:10] spk_1: One of the things that I would tell leaders is that before they buy into the vision they have to buy into you. And if you're not where you need to be, it shows in leadership is so it's so essential. But at times it could be so overrated. Uh, being being at your best, being at your 100 a Z much as possible is important because every word you say it's like throwing a stone in a lake. It vibrates. It issued every word, every every action, every comma, every cough, everything you to you know, people are always looking for Okay, where is this person? That was the edge was here. She really trying to say so. One of the rial real practical things live been doing as of late. And my wife is, like, so excited about this eyes that I've been getting my sleep. Have to get your sleep. I've seen, but I don't get sleep. I'm not. I'm not a nice guy making some bad choices and some bad decisions. So you know what? Factor it in, you know, 89 hours. Get it in. I know you, but I gotta be another night. Get stuff done, and, uh oh, yeah, that's overrated. You get your sleep if you're acting like that. Okay? The new overextended.

[00:29:37] spk_0: No. And that's the thing true to is being that I'm a physiologist and how the body works knowing that it is very important and the aspect that it actually effects, like our stress levels, how well, that we can actually love others and trust others. And it also effects are how we receive rewards or do opening on dso. It's really cool. So, yes, sweep is extremely important. So I have, like, all for you mentioning that one. So with that, we are closing out on our time. So I'm gonna give you your final question on this For people that air apologizing for being themselves, for being them and for the limitations. What would you tell them? Or what advice would you give them?

[00:30:21] spk_1: You change your focus, you change your life, right? So you are apologizing. You're living in the past. You're just, you know, just just remorse ing. Ask yourself what was the lesson? What was the lesson? Okay, Now, once you find a lesson, then there is a lesson. What you do is that now you take your energy and your focus and you put it on the lesson eso when the remorse comes up One of things I've learned is that you out loud. Hey, I'm getting to like, Dr Feel stuff. When it happens out loud, you say the word stop when you say the word stop your your mind. Whatever you're thinking, it freezes at that moment and then you redirect on the lesson that was learned. Take authority and control over your mind and you stop allowing your mind to run rampant. And if you can't, they're going to turn the radio on that night, some good spiritual music and focus on that and allow your mind to deal with that crossword puzzle versus the pain of the past and regretting the fear of the future.

[00:31:32] spk_0: Yeah, I love it. And I agree so much on that as actually, that's what I do. I listen because my mind stops. It never, ever stops and good audio books. Um, that is where I'm at. I love how you talk about lessons learned like lessons that is so important and having what I call the lesson learned log literally every task Ideo. I put what lesson that I learned because if you seek it, you'll find it in the end that continuation of finding for the lessons, finding the good. And I'll say in this I found so much good from you, Sean. I am bless beyond measure to be able to have talked to you today. And I appreciate everybody that has joined in Thank you and have an awesome day. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of unapologetically bold. I'm not sorry for If this touch shoot anyway, please like and subscribe and share with your friends as we continue the message of being unapologetically bold, Bobby and hot humans who are humble, open and transparent. See you next time.