Hi, This is Wayne Brown from Life Back On Track. Welcome to the latest episode.

In this one, I want to talk about something interesting. Intriguing even. And that is, can a leopard change its spots?

We can also ask this question of ourselves. Can we change our spots now? The key here is "Is it possible?" Now, of course it's possible. That is an easy one to answer. Yes! It is possible for a leopard to change its spots. What we do need to know is "Is it probable?" That is the key here. Is it probable that that leopard will change its spots and develop different behaviours, different attitudes, different mindsets, different reactions?

We can also ask "Is it probable that we will change our behaviours, our actions, our habits, our mindsets" and that is the one that is harder to quantify, to understand its likelihood. Because we are complex emotions. We are complex mindsets. We are complex human beings.

There are many factors contributing to whether or not we will change. People, by their very nature, are driven by two things. We are either driven away from pain or we're driven towards pleasure or drawn towards pleasure. I should say.

The key is, is that drive that pushes us away from pain or pulls us towards pleasure strong enough to make it probable that we will change or someone else will change?

I'll tell a story, and it's one that illustrates, I think very strongly the aspect of probability, the probability that I am talking about. I may have told this story before in a podcast, and that's OK because it's a very strong example of what I'm talking about. Many years ago I worked with a chap by the name of Ian and we were sitting down to lunch one day and I was in a very masculine environment. There are no women, so it was very much macho and Ian was English and I being Australian, we had a little bit in common in that regard.

Now I had obviously spoken to him a number of times, so it was OK with talking to him and I was seated near him and he sat down in this very masculine environment and he was eating a salad. Now this intrigued me a man eating a salad because this isn't something that you would generally see in my very cliched environment. I inquired to Ian as to why he was eating a salad, and he informed me that he had been told some time ago by his doctor that he was quite overweight. He was 20 odd kilos overweight, that his blood pressure was high, that his cholesterol was dangerously high and that if he did nothing to rectify the situation, he would be dead within 12 months.

For many people, the threat of death would be enough to motivate you. So therefore, we would modify our eating habits, our exercise habits, and we would do something to mitigate that risk. For some people, though, we need a bigger kick. And a friend of Ian's was in pretty much the same boat at around the same time that he was. They were both overweight, had high blood pressure and high, very high cholesterol.

This other chap had been told by his doctor exactly what Ian had been told by his doctor. And that was, if you do nothing to rectify this situation, you would be dead In 12 months. Ian had been motivated by that very threat, and he's changed his eating habits. He started eating cleaner. He started exercising and the weight came off and his cholesterol dropped and his blood pressure came down and he became healthy. After a number of months, Ian had noticed that his friend was still eating what the English called chip butties, which is two pieces of bread with hot chips in between and sauce, a"nd he said to his friend, What are you doing?"

His friend, in typical macho fashion, said, "It'll be fine". Unfortunately, though, it wasn't and sadly, within the 12 months, as predicted by the doctor, this bloke dropped dead. The sad thing about that situation was that he left behind a wife and two young sons. Sometimes leopards don't change their spots because it's not very probable. They don't have a big enough painful reason to stop. They don't have a big enough promise as to the pleasure ahead that would draw them towards them.

Ian did. It was highly probable that he would change his spots and he became a better person for it, became more aware of his health, the impact on his loved ones because he had two young daughters, I think from recollection. His friend, however, didn't have enough pain. He didn't have enough promise of a pleasurable future to change, so therefore, he paid the price. So was it probable that his friend would change? It was a lot less likely.

So it's not so much. Will a leopard change its spots? It's how probable. I just recalled a memory from my own past, and that is many years ago, I was one of these people who smoked. So we're talking, in my late twenties here. I was never a habitual smoker. I would smoke a pack a day for a week, and then I wouldn't smoke for a fortnight. I did, however, continue to smoke, and one day I developed a cough and I went to my doctor.

In true doctor fashion, he said, "I'll send you off for some X rays". So we sent me off for some X rays, and I went and visited him to get the results. As he sat there looking at my X ray results, he informed me that I had the start of emphysema. Now, for those of you that may not be aware of what emphysema is or the end result, it tends to damage your larynx and your breathing ability, and you end up having to breathe through a hole in your throat. Sometimes they have to remove your voice box, which means you no longer use your vocal cords to talk. You use a little automated machine that simulates your speech when you press it against the hole in your throat.

Now I knew what emphysema was, and that terrified me. It scared the willies out of me. So from that day I never touched another cigarette. I had sufficient pain that I had a very, very high probability that I would change that behaviour, that habit, that mindset, and I haven't smoked another cigarette since that day. I have no desire to, and you couldn't pay me enough to, so that probability was very high.

Was it possible? Yes. As always, leopards can change their spots. The probability is the key. So for yourself. If you want to look at changing something, how do you make it more probable? How much pain can you give yourself so that you want to change? How much promise of an enjoyable, pleasurable future can you give yourself to draw yourself towards it? Having both of these makes it very probable. If you have sufficient pain, and that doesn't mean you have to be in pain, you just have to understand the pain.

So this friend of Ian's, he didn't understand not just the impact to himself, but the impact of his wife, his sons, his family, his work colleagues. All of these people would have been impacted greatly by his loss. That could have been sufficient pain for him, to have the probability of changing. Again, it comes down to him.

If you have someone in your life for whom you want them to get better results, to maybe stop using a particular habit, a particular behaviour, using a particular mindset, you need to show them the pain so that the probability increases. You need to give them something to work toward. That shows there is a probability that they're going to change.

So the question ultimately is not "Can A leopard changes spots its spots?" Because a leopard can. The question is, what's the probability? So what's the probability of you or someone else that you care about changing their spots?

That is the key. How much can you paint a picture of the pain and the pleasure that will be removed. So the pain that's removed and the pleasure that's increased by changing to that new behaviour, mindset, habit, belief, reaction, whatever it is.

So there you go something for you to really ponder about. Crack that in the right combination, and your life can change massively. Find the pain, not the amount of pain. This isn't about putting yourself in a huge amount of pain and hitting rock bottom. This is finding the right pain, the right angle so that someone will change. Show them that the other side, when they get there, will be pleasurable. It will be enjoyable. It'll be satisfying.

Show them that, and then, they'll change. Show yourself that and then you will change.

So get out there change some spots. Not just for yourself but also the people you care about. Leopards can change. You just need to make it highly probable that they will change.

So there you go. Thanks for listening in. It's wonderful knowing that you're listening. It's wonderful to know that this is impacting your life for the better. It is the whole reason why I record this.

So take care. Look after yourself, practise all of these things. The more you practise, the easier it gets and remember our ultimate goal, and that is having a good life.

So until next time, here's to a good life.

You can listen to the Life Back On Track podcast on your favourite platform by visiting our podcast website. Click HERE to check it out. 

You can also listen to my radio show “All About Relationships” which has its own podcast on your favourite platform by clicking HERE 

Thanks for listening.